working mom with a sick baby...

I was wondering what working moms do when their babies are sick. I am so stressed. DS is on his third illness since September, and his second ear infection. Both DH and I are teachers, and we try to alternate taking time off when DS is sick. I always seem to get sick, too, so at this point in the school year, I have already missed 8 days. I am so stressed. I feel like a bad teacher. I feel like a bad mom, because I feel like I am being pulled between work and child, even though it should seem like a no-brainer... kid is sick, stay home to take care of him. At what point can kids go back to daycare once they start antibiotics? I have no back-up child care...and it makes me stressed and depressed. My parents died when I (and they) were so young. I have no siblings. ILs are not retired.

What do other working moms do??????

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Do you belong to any mom groups or know any SAHMs who could help out on an occasional basis?

DH and I take turns, but his job is more strict than mine is, so it winds up falling on me more.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

DH is home with DS again, who is sick for the 2nd time in 2 weeks. He's got more time accrued and a more flexible schedule. I can take time if I need to but I'm saving it for maternity leave.

We are lucky in that if I needed them too, my mom or MIL would take the day off, but it's almost not worth it because they don't live close by. I don't have backup childcare either.

I actually have stopped taking days for myself when I am sick ecause I can't afford to, I need them for DS and when I'm out with the new baby. It stinks

Message edited 12/7/2009 8:42:22 AM.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I am a working mom home with a sick child as we speak.

I try to get babysitters or me or DH take off alternate days. Once the kid is on antibiotic and fever stops I send them to daycare

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I don't have any family to help watch the girls, so it falls on me or DH. We alternate - worst case scenario I just work from home, or take an unpaid day off - thankfully I have a VERY flexible and understanding job.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I am also a teacher, and I'm home today with a sick child.
I have to say, as a teacher, it's really hard when you're not there because you have a classroom full of children who also depend on you. That guilt that pulls you in both directions is awful. I'm feeling it right now. The only thing making me not feel too bad about today is that I'm a music teacher and I only had two classes today. But some days I'm back to back all day and i know that other people are picking up my slack.
That being said, I have just learned to take the time when I need it. My husband works overnights, and last night he worked and couldn't take off, so there was no way in hell he could care for our three year old today after not sleeping all night. When he didn't work the night before, he stays with her.
It took a long time for me to get to this point, but my family comes first no matter what. I'm grateful because my head of school has young kids and he gets it that when our kids are sick, they come first.
If you have sick days, use them because no one should have anything to say about it. I would also find a back-up sitter just because it's good to have one, anyway. Where do you live? Maybe a mom on here would be willing to help out?

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Usually I split it with my husband, luckily after 3 years in daycare and about 5 months now with a childminder, he has really only been sick about 3 times. Knock on wood!

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Children can return to daycare when they have been SYMPTOM free (fever included) and on anti-biotics (if he is taking them) for 24hrs...

My only back up childcare is my mom; who is SOOO unreliable... My boss is not flexible AT ALL with calling in sick (esp for my kids).... I constantly fear the "what ifs"...

I usually try to work it out between DH, and my mom...or maybe take a half a day...

Im always so conflicted with this...its a stinky situation...

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I've always been the one to stay home whether I have the time or not - tough crap on work!!

Once DH was going to keep her on his working from home day but we had taken her to the ped first thing and they said she was fine to go to daycare and did.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Posted by 05mommy09

Children can return to daycare when they have been SYMPTOM free (fever included) and on anti-biotics (if he is taking them) for 24hrs...

My only back up childcare is my mom; who is SOOO unreliable... My boss is not flexible AT ALL with calling in sick (esp for my kids).... I constantly fear the "what ifs"...

I usually try to work it out between DH, and my mom...or maybe take a half a day...

Im always so conflicted with this...its a stinky situation...

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Usually I stay home with him or if my MIL isn't working she will, even if it is just for part of the day. DH is a teacher (untenured) so he typically won't stay home unless I really have to go to work for some reason. Fortunately my job has some flexibility where I can work from home but I understand why it is so stressful for you because yours isn't. hang in there. As her immunity gets better this will happen less and less. Unfortuantely the winter can sometimes be brutal for colds and illnesses. Hang in there.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I am lucky to have my mom and babysitter, who watch DS unless he is really, really super sick.

DS has RSV and I am at work today. I feel terrible leaving him but I know that I can't take off every time he is sick.

I don't know what I would do if my mom wasn't there to help other than have to take off like you do.

I hope your DS feels better!

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

Let me know when you find out the solution..

My DS had his first illness my first week back to work after maternity leave...my DH stayed home with him but my boss told me "you should have stayed home with him, your child comes before your job".

The next week I caught flack because I left early one day to go home and take care of him (she told me to) and then I caught his hold and was very sick and stayed home one day.

So I don't know the solution. Maybe just alternating with your spouse. I have an aunt nearby who would help out in a pinch but I always feel like my child needs his mommy when he is sick!

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

This is the worst part, IMO, about being a working mom and having a child in daycare. Last year my DS was sick quite a few times and this year (knock) on wood he has been much better. I would end up taking time off, but I limited it to one day - daycare was really great and helped out alot - my ds is in family daycare, so smaller and when he was recovering from an illness, they let me bring him in and one daycare worker stayed with him in a separate area - not ideal, but i was desperate. I have no answers about solutions - it is so hard.

Re: working mom with a sick baby...

I can usually get either my mom or my sister to watch DD when she is sick if I have advanced notice. If DD wakes up sick, I usually have to take the day off.