Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

DD is going to be starting daycare the week after next. I'm starting to stress out about getting things done after everyone comes home ie laundry, cook meals, get stuff ready for the next day, etc etc. Any advice? Anything that you do that makes your life easier? Should I spend a good chunk of time on the weekends getting stuff ready for the week? I feel like DH and I want to make the most out of our time in the evenings and on weekends with DD that I don't know how how to do it all. I know ppl do it. I know ppl with more than one little one do it. I know it's going to be an adjustment for everyone but I'm hoping to get some routines going from the start.

Any suggestions and advice is welcome. Thanks!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I only work Mon-Thurs so that's a huge help. But the BIGGEST thing I do is clean and organize each day (about 30-60 minutes as soon as I get home).

I do laundry daily, even if I wait until the weekend to fold it all and put it away.

Daily, I wipe down the bathroom and kitchen and I dust at least twice a week. Dishes are run in the dishwasher at least every 2 days. Often I put them away before I leave in the AM.

Moping and vacucuming is usually every other day.

I try to cook several nights per week. Often we do leftovers. A lot of times, DH & I will also eat late in the day at work so we are not super hungry for a big meal at night.

I also don't feel super bad about going to Trader Joe's once a month to stock my freezer with pre-made stuff for nights I am super tired and do not feel like cooking, or if I want to leave for a yoga class or something around DS bedtime, but want DH to have something.

As the weather gets warmer, it gets easier too because we eat outside almost every night, and DH will grill for us.

I also use my crockpot in the winter.

You will find your routine and balance.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I've had to change my standards but it is difficult. Just today I was kicking myself because I noticed that the bottoms of my kitchen cabinets and the floor under my stove are dirty. We HAVE TO go easier on ourslves. My kid will never remember that I didn't scrub under the cabinets. My husband does a lot around the house but he commutes long hours so it is not easy. I have one child but we have no help unless we hire help.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

Some things will have to give. It took me a year before I started blowing my hair out again! Forget running. It will take some time before things are remotely close to being how they were.

But for me, here are some things that help:

Sundays: Meal Plan for the week-just knowing what I'm making for dinner each night saves me the "What's for dinner?" anxiety.

I also iron my clothes for the week. No more stressing about what I'm going to wear.

Friday: Clean the bath, kitchen, dust

Saturday: Vacuum, laundry-I'm uiusally down by 11 so I still have the day.

I clean the kitchen every night after dinner and vacuum the kitchen and living room too.

We get our groceries delivered!!! Lifesaver!!!

I shower at night.

When DS took a bottle, I got them prepared the night before.

Lunch is usually leftovers.

I live by my notebook...it is my weekly to do list. If I don't write things down, I will forget. So sometimes, just writing it down eases stress.

Try to run errands at lunch or right after work. Try online bill paying or pay bills directly from your checking account. See if your bank does smart phone check deposits. Get stamps at the grocery store. Shop online. these little things help a lot.

Don't expect things to return to 'normal'. They won't. It will be a new normal. But things will eventually get back.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

DH and I make lunches, pack the daycare bag, etc. the night before.

We use the crockpot a decent amount. Check out crockpot recipes on Pinterest. Huge time saver for dinner! We also get a few easy to make meals from Trader Joe's.

When MIL takes DS, I plan some errands (MIL is VERY generous with letting me run quickly after work to get things done). This frees up time on the weekend.

DH and I have a routine for everything-mornings, evenings, bedtime.

It's tough in the beginning, but you'll start to get a routine going and it won't seem so overwhelming. Good luck!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

Routine is key for me. Some things that help us:

Every Sunday I set our DDs outfits for the week so there's no thinking in the mornings. Just grab and get her changed.

Crockpot is your best friend.

While DD takes a bath, I clean the bathroom.

I do a load of laundry just about every night. It prevents it from piling up and being left for the weekends.

DH helps A LOT. I don't know how single moms do it.

I put everything out at night that we need for the morning to get out the door. So our bags and my car keys go together. I put DDs lunch and snacks together and have that all ready to go in her bag.

Meal planning! I plan my meals out for the week so it helps with the grocery list and there's no thinking about what anyone is eating. I prep my lunch on Sunday nights for the week.

Good luck! You'll find a routine that will work for you.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I agree with routine and planning - lifesavers!

I pack everything for work / daycare the night before.

Meal plan for the week, i use my crock pot OFTEN!!!

I only do laundry on weekends but i only do about 4 loads so its not too bad. The clothes don't always get put away

I keep a running list of my to do's, try to get stuff done during lunch or right after work if i can so my weekends are free.

we have a cleaning person come every couple of weeks, thats a big help. But every night i make sure the kitchen is cleaned, toys put away.

i agree with letting things go - your house might be messy, things might not be perfect but i'd rather spend the tiem with DS then stress over every little thing!!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

In the beginning it was so hard and I was so overwhelmed, but the daycare we used was super helpful in helping me get organized. I drop everything off for the week on Tuesday this way i don't need to pack anything for him daily (i left frozen BM there when I was nursing, and powdered formula just in case), i bring all his food for the week, diapers and wipes in bulk etc. It's one less thing i have to think about every morning when I'm leaving the house. I work from home on Monday, so I get my laundry and meal planning done on that day, but I just wanted to share my daycare experience since it really made my life easier!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

It also gets a lot better the older they get I think. DS is so routine driven, and we only let him play with his toys in his room or in the basement so things don't get as cluttered. He knows he needs to pick up every night too.

It totally becomes second nature I think.

Getting up early helps too. I just spent a good 2 hours (with breaks) cleaning up and putting away laundry, doing the litter and getting rid of all the crap from Easter. It's not even 10AM yet and I still have my whole day to be with DS.

I'll do a little more tomorrow.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

as soon as I get home-I unpack and pack the daycare bag for the next day. I also pick out the kids clothes for the week on fridays. this is extremely helpful so that I don't have to run around in the mornings---I never know what the mornings will bring!!LOL!

I do shoprite from home-awesome!

I clean the first hour when I get home--it's not a deep clean but, I put dishes away, wash bottles, laundry etc. (in fact, most days I don't stop moving-doing something til 7pm--that's my cut off)

when I put LOs to bed--I will straighten their rooms-put toys away

I have a great Dh, so that is helpful.

I do bills on my lunchbreak and whatever else I can--call for appts. etc.

Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

My advice is to plan. Write things down that need to get done.

I make a weekly menu and do 3 make ahead meals on Sunday. (Monday night DH is out and Fridays I work from home.) It doesn't take very long to cook and it saves so much time during the week. While dinner is heating up, I prepare all of DD's bottles/food for daycare, as well as prepare my breakfast and lunch for work. We then all eat together at the table. DD is in bed by 8pm so DH and I have the rest of the night to ourselves. Our house is pretty neat (I hate clutter) and we wipe down the counters, wash dishes, etc. after dinner.

We do laundry on Sundays. (DH mostly since I'm usually food shopping and cooking.)

If you can afford it, hire a cleaning person. We are doing that.

Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I only just went back to work a month ago, so we are still adjusting, but here are the things I've found helpful:

1) Peapod! I plan out our dinners for the week the prior Friday while at work and put together a Peapod order to be delivered Sunday or Monday after we get home from work. This has been a lifesaver. I also bring all of my breakfast and lunches supplies to work with me each Monday so I never have to worry about "what am I eating at work tomorrow."

2) Crock pot meals are your friend. I also try to make at least one or two meals ahead on Sundays; typically something that can just sit on the stove/in the oven, so it doesn't take time away from DD. We also try to freeze half of everything we make so that when we're strapped for time, we can just unfreeze a homemade meal.

3) We have 2 sets of bottles, so I can get DD's bottles prepared for daycare as soon as I get home from work, regardless of whether or not DH and DD are home yet (DH takes DD to daycare). Luckily, we are allowed to store everything else there, so her bottles are the only things that go back and forth each day.

4) While I BF DD before bed, DH cleans up the kitchen. We also make sure all of her toys are put away/in their rightful spot before she goes to bed so the house is neat.

5) DH will typically do 1 load of DD's clothes one evening during the week while I give her a bath and feed her. We do our own laundry on the weekend.

6) I don't clean as much as I used to, but my house is always picked up and I vacuum the whole house every weekend.

7) DH and I take turns running on the weekends. He'll go Sat morning, I'll go Sun, or he'll get up and go running before DD and I get up. This also gives us both some one on one time with DD while the other is out running.

Life is certainly way more hectic than ever and I feel like DH and I are constantly exhausted, but we are making do and you will too! It is overwhelming at first, but you'll fall in to a routine quicker than you think. Good luck!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

The most important thing is to understand and accept that there WILL be things that 'neglected' for lack of a better word. You will not get it all done like you used to. Don't expect to, don't try - All you can do is your best.
And if you'd rather eat PB/J than a meal that took an hour to prep and cook so you can sit on the floor and play with your baby - that is what you should do, even if you have to fore yourself to do it.

To be honest, with just one, I was really OK. It took some getting used to - but it really was easy once I got into a routine and just started DOING it. The anticipation is worse b/c you just don't know what to expect and how it will all go - Once that is gone, you figure out what works best for you time wise and it's fine.

The second baby threw me completely off my game

I REALLY have to force myself to be ok w/ the fact that the house isn't perfectly spotlessly clean. I still don't have pictures in the frames I bought 2 years ago. I still don't have a chandelier in my dining room - and there are dust bunnies where there were NEVER EVER dust bunnies before (I'm currently on a mssion for a cleaning person)- But before, I didn't have 2 little boys to take up my time

We eat take out more than I'd like to admit, my kids are not the healthiest eaters by any stretch of the immagination, and I desperately need to lose 20 lbs - but my boys are happy and healthy and while I still get the occassional paralyzing disgust w/ myself for not being perfect and getting it all done (to my OWN standards) I just force myself to push through it. I force myself to sit on the kitchen floor when someone brings me a book and stop scrubbing the sink -

So, what 'helps' in our house is getting daycare bags ready the night before, doing laundry regularly so it's not a major all day chore, and not making myself sick and crazy over meals -
Grilled cheese, scrambled eggs, omlettes, pasta, chicken, pancakes, waffles, TONS of fruit, yogurt - these are all staple dinners in my house for the kids - Food is food, there's no law that says you can't eat eggs for dinner
ETA: and PEAPOD is my very best friend

Message edited 4/5/2013 10:47:22 AM.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

we have cleaning people come every other week

we do laundry on Saturday and Sunday morning as a family at the mat .. if the weekend is to busy we get it done by the mat

we food shop sat or Sunday at trader joes bright and early as a fam usually and then target

we decide whats for dinner during the day and the game plan to cook it when we get home. while one chops , cooks or prepares the other ones plays with DS usually one cooks and the other one cleans. while one is cleaning the kitchen the other does bath and clean/prepare for the next day. Then we watch a show

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

Thanks for all these responses - I'm going back in a week too and dreading it!

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I agree with needing a routine and planning. That is the only way I get things done.

Everything fits in where it can. Some things get put on the back burner for a while and I don't beat myself up about it.

DH helps out a lot. Somehow it all eventually gets done.

I do a lot of shopping online, including groceries. And we have a cleaning lady.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

We have grown out of our apartment so it is never in the shape I want it to be in but this is what helps me...
1. Peapod for groceries
2. Diapers.com, soap.com, and the others in the "family" for toiletries, baby stuff, and gifts.
3. Waking up early to tackle the bulk of daily tasks. I get dd up at 6 to nurse her in bed and then she snuggles with daddy until about 7:30 or 8. I take that time to shower, pick up, wipe down bathroom and kitchen surfaces, and prepare bottles and meals. Babysitter comes around 8:15 so I'm lucky that she can wash her face and dress her if I'm running late.

ps- Waiting to get the final word that we've been approved for a mortgage and reno loan. By July I should have a dish washer! A dish washer who is not named Kati! It's what I'm most excited about these days.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

1. I do most of my cooking for the week on Sunday.
2. Breakfast for dinner is an easy meal. I just call it quiche so dh doesn't pass out from eating breakfast after noon time.
3. I concentrate on putting things away rather than cleaning things. Yes things haven't been dusted, yes the bathroom needs a deep cleaning, but there isn't so much clutter around.
4. Do what is absolutely necessary, like having clean clothes, food, etc. then start adding things back in one at a time to give you time to adjust.
5. This sucks but wake up early and go to bed later. The extra hours are helpful.
6. Don't sit until everything you want done is done. Once I sit, nothing else will get done.

Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

I agree with do what needs to be done but you also need time for yourself. You must must must allow for this. Don't let cleaning your house take over this aspect.

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

My DH and I split the work (not so much now that I am 8 months prego with #2).

We try to always do laundry on Sat. mornings. We split the rooms and clean them throughout the week. Sometimes the house will just be messy. It is what it is.

Every night after DS goes to bed I put out clothing, make lunches and get myself ready for the next day. Then when its time for him to go to daycare everything is ready for all of us. Everything is done the night before.

The biggest problem we have is going food shopping. DS is at that age that I rather drink gasoline then bring him to the store. We use fresh direct and pea pod as often as we can. Then here and there we go to the store. Now that im so big we have had more take out then I would like but I just dont have energy.

Hope this helps! FM me with questions

Re: Working Moms, I need advice/help/support!

Things have definitely changed big time for me since I had our DS. When I got pregnant we were still living in my parents house. My mom did almost everything for me. We moved into our house right after DS came home from the NICU. I had to learn how to cook, clean, do laundry, take care of a house and a newborn all at the same time. I finally made it all work to some degree.

In the beginning I never cooked. It was lean cuisines or take out for DH and I. Now that DS is eating table food I'm trying to cook more. Easy things baked chicken, spaghetti, stir frys, burgers etc.

Every night I load the dishwasher and run it at least once every 2 days. DH will put the dishes away after they are washed.

I usually try to do at least 1 load of laundry a night so it doesn;t pile up.

I lay out my clothes at night so I know exactly what I'm wearing and not scrambling around in the morning. DS is watched by my dad so I take DS to their house in his pajamas since they have clothes for him there.

DH works 6 days a week so while hes at work on Saturdays and DS is napping I do bigger cleaning. During the week I;ll wipe down the counters and the bathroom. Sweep up or swiffer the floors. I'll pick up clothes and toys that are in the living room. I'll vacuum on the weekends and dust. My house is messy at times but so what. I'm enjoying my family and watching DS grow. I can deal with a messy house if it gives me more time with my DS!