Would this annoy you? MIL related

My inlaws have a hard time with change. With that said, we live 5 hours from them. Each year DH hears from one of his 3 sisters that his Mom is upset and crying that everyone will not be there for Christmas Eve which is the huge night in their family.

We have two young children and I want to be able to have my own traditions, etc. We have told them that we will be in our own home on Christmas day. End of story...no discussion.

I understand that MIL has her traditions that she would like to continue, but why can't we do our own thing without the grief. It puts DH in an awkward position since he doesn't want his parents to be upset.

My mom lives in town so we will spend Christmas with her and my brother who is also coming into town. I know it looks like we always spend every holiday with my family, but it is not going to be held against us that they live in town.
Bottom line is that Santa comes down my chimney...he doesn't pack up his toys and deliver them at MIL's house.

Ive suggested on numerous occassions we start a new tradition with his family that the weekend before or after we all get together. But to them, if it is not Christmas Eve, then it is not Christmas.

UGH. Just so annoying.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

Noone ever wants to give up a holiday with their family...we spend Christmas Eve with DH's family and Christmas day with my family (b/c I have it at my house) but I can understand how his mom is upset. Maybe to be fair to your DH you should alternate every other year with your family and his. I know it $ucks and you want to be with your family but your DH probably wants to be able to see his family as well. Or why dont you invite his family over for the holiday since you want to start a new tradition.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

I have a very similar situation and yes it is annoying! We do the traveling though. I would love to start a new tradition!

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

I agree that christmas with children should be spent at home. How about suggesting they come to you??

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

We take turns every year with both families so it's fair that way.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

We've invited them, but they insist on spending Christmas Eve at home. And when my parents still lived in NY as opposed to moving here to Ohio, we just did Christmas whenever and they are totally understanding about Christmas being at home with the kids.

I'm more than willing to have a house full of people on Christmas...I love to entertain! They just wont do it.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

I have the opposite situation in that we live here and so do my in laws but my family lives in FL. We alternate all holidays. While I would love to spend Christmas day with our DD in our new house it is really important to me that we see my family so we will be down there this year.

Sometimes, family is about compromise and sacrifice. I know I would be upset if my DH said we would only spend Christmas here from now on because both families are equally as important.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

Oh yeah I know all about this one...... MIL and family have Christmas Eve dinner at her house. Which I don't have a problem with.......her comes the but.....WHY THE HE!! DO WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL MID_NIGHT TO OPEN GIFTS.
We are not children.......beside my son goes to sleep well before midnight!! I so want to end that tradition.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

Ok, I guess I have a different opinion than everyone else. It probably stems from having grown up in the military and NEVER seeing any of my extended family on Christmas.

To me, Christmas isn't about which tree your gifts are under or which living room you sit in your PJs and see what is in your stocking. It's about being with family.

I do think it's unfair that you spend every holiday with your family and never with your ILs. I think they are being immature but you are being a little bratty about it too. JMO.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

I get what you are saying but you should try to see it from her point of view. As you are now trying to implement new traditions, someday someone else will come into your family and do the same thing to you! Part of life, I guess.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

Since my grandfather passed away on Christmas Eve, my maternal side of the family has always gotten together. After my grandmother passed away, we all stayed with our own families on Christmas Eve. My brothers and sister and I all have grown up with children of our own, but we will never give up that tradition. It's one reason no one has moved out of state since it means so much to us.

I know how upsetting it would be to my mother if her children or grandchildren could not be there for this lifelong tradition. Christmas Day will be spent alone for part of the day and with my IL's for part of the day.

While I hope to someday have our own traditions, I know they will have to wait a few years. How about your IL's making the trip to your house if it means that much to them? That is what the bottom line should be, spending the holiday together, not which house you are all in.

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

We have invited them to our house and I guess I should clarify that we do spend holidays with them just as much as my family. We will go there the day after Christmas sometimes, but it is still a problem. Don't get me wrong, I understand and appreicate the importance of family during the holidays. I just wish they could be a little more flexible so we can all have Christmas in our own way...both old and new..

Re: Would this annoy you? MIL related

we also like to have christmas at ourhouse for the kids, and we try and get to gether either before or after the holidays to exchange with the rest of my family becuase they dont wantt o come over on christmas or chritmas eve