Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

It's totally annoying me that a good friend wants to bring her two children over to meet Kristopher. Maybe I am being paranoid or over protective, but as a parent, I would never just "assume" that it would be ok. I am avoiding her completely at this point being she is so insistant that they come with her, and I don't want to out right be rude about it-but I am lucky I let adults come over to see him! He is only 9 days old, has jaundice and was over 2 weeks early. Am I being a B**** or would you feel the same way? I know if they come over the older one who is 11 will insist on holding him bc all she kept saying while I was pregnant was that she can't wait to hold him, but I am really annoyed. Am I being a B*****?

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

No you are not being a beatch...I would feel the same way and I would never assume that I would take my DD to visit anyones new baby - even my sisters - she should have asked and then when you said no should have totally understood and not insisted.

Call her and tell her you would love to see her but you would rather that she doesnt take her kids just because of your little one being so young.

If she gets pizzed then she is not a real friend anyway.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

Kristopher's health comes before anything else! I would just tell her the truth and then make plans to have them see him when he is a little older.

Kiss him for me!

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I totally felt the same way as you. I had to be upfront with a friend who wanted to bring her son over straight from daycare!! You know what is best for your baby!!

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I understand where you are coming from, but if someone invited me to come and meet their child and did not specifically tell me not to bring DD, I would assume DD was welcome.

When I gave birth, my neice (who was 10 months) came to visit me and when my sister gave birth 2 weeks ago, DD came wtih me to the hospital to visit when the baby was two days old.

You feelings are totally valid, but you have to let your friend know how you feel. A good friend will understand.

Message edited 8/24/2007 4:36:54 PM.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I told BIL he could not bring my niece to my house so don't feel bad.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

As long as they are not sick, then I think it would be ok.
As a parent though, I would not let my kids just hang around the baby the whole time and expect to be holding them.
I was not a very paranoid parent with people holding my kids and my dd was out of the house in 5 days and we brought my ds to dinner at 2 weeks.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

As a mother of two, I have to tell you I have always been somewhat sensitive to this. Even after my second daughter, the only children she was exposed to the first 8 weeks of her life were her two cousins, and both my sister and SIL were very sensitive and careful to only let them "look" at the baby from a distance.

Everyone else I simply told them that my pediatrician didn't want the baby around other children until they were eight weeks. HTH.

ETA. A good friend of mine had a baby three weeks ago (her second). When I called her this past week and told her I would come by when my kids were both at school, her releif was evident.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I know but her daughter is a 25 year old in a 11 year olds body. I didn't invite her over, she told me she wanted to come to visit which I can completely undersatnd. The baby is still jaundice and was supposed to go in the hospital today if he didn't improve any... SHe knows this.

Also I guess you need to know her children to understand...

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

Can't you just tell her the doctor doesn't want him around children until he's older????

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

Well my Son had all his cousins come and visit him at the hospital so as long they are not sick I don't see the harm in it. I wouldn't let them hold the baby right away but I don't see the harm in them being near the baby. Even if they don't get that close to it...

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I think it's all up to you. If you don't want the baby around other children right now - then just be honest and tell her that.

We were very laidback with kids being around Jack the entire time. Then about 3 weeks ago he got a cold. I flat out told everyone that the kids can "Look but don't touch" - and that even the adults had to wash their hands.

I didn't care if I sounded like a lunatic. I was worried about my sons well being - He was only 5 weeks at the time.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

Most people asked me before they brought children to visit. And I flat-out said no, not until DD had her shots.

I would tell her you would love to see her and the kids in a few weeks. She SHOULD understand...

My ped. said that kids are just chock full of germs ESPECIALLY in the summer. Alex doesn't live in a glass bubble but why do something you are not comfortable with, Why take that risk?

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

Message edited 11/24/2007 9:53:09 PM.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I would just tell her that the pediatrican prefers that the baby not be around children yet, as they tend to carry more germs, etc. She should understand that, having children of her own.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

My son spent over 2 months in the nicu and when he cam home we allowed door visits for everyone except our immediate family (me and dh parents and siblings.) We didnt have any children in or even my cousins who have children. You have to do what YOU are comfortable with. She needs to respect that!

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

As someone whose daughter had an infection at 2 weeks old & wound up with a spinal tap, I wouldn't be annoyed. I would simply say no.

I don't fault her for wanting to bring her kids. I fault her if she presses the issue after I tell her my pediatrician said to limit visitors.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

i think she should have asked first-- not assumed it was ok---- but i wouldnt flip out over it- just tell her No kids...

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I told my SIl the dr said no kids until 8 weeks, and she would not let it go " i can't believe a doctor would say that. The longest I ever heard was 2 weeks. I thik thats too long" She never let it go.
Simply- I am the mother, my rules.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

EXACTLY! It was just assumed it was ok! I think that is what annoyed me the most, she was like the kids are dying to see him. I am extremely laid back when it comes to certain things, kids need to build up a resistance, but he isn't 100% as it is. He wasn't even supposed to be here until the 31st! She knows this and she knows I have been sick since I have gotten home. I even got the guilt trip when I told her it really wasn't a good day. I am far from overprotective, but he is a newborn, not just an infant. He hasn't had any shots but the Hepatitis Vaccine in the hospital. And she is one of the most overprotective parents I can think of!

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I would just let her know that your baby is not to be around other children as per doc's orders. YOu are in the right. Sometimes people forget what it is like to be a new mom.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I totally agree with you on this but it sounds like you are annoyed that she did not instinctively know that she should not have tried to bring her kids. As hard as it is to say something, I do not think that you should have expected your friend to just know how you would feel about this.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I wouldn't be annoyed. I would just tell her you don't feel comfortable having kids over yet.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?

I felt the same way, plus my dr. advised NO children or sick teenagers/adults around the baby until her first shots.

Re: Would you be annoyed is a friend wanted to bring her two children over when your child was a week old?