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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by LML
I agree with your mom. It's more about the thought than about how much is spent.
Agree
the holidays shouldn't be about how much someone spent
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Posted 11/2/10 3:32 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I don't think she has to spend the same amount on each grandchild.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:35 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by cgdg61606
I personally wouldn't have said to get a gc to make up the difference. I would have just named the gift you had in mind and said it was $95. However, if I were a grandmother, I would spend equally on all of my grandchildren. Same as a mother, I would spend equally on all of my children.
ITA...
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:37 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
as my mom always told us growing up... "life aint fair" 
it all equals out. if the gift for $95 is what you think your DD will enjoy, that's enough.
does that mean your neice should get two gifts because your DD is getting two? KWIM?
 they dont understand the dollar value.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:38 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I've lived this-
I have a family member that buys the same "thing" for everyone. Let's just say its pajamas...
kids 1, 2, 3, 4 receive old navy PJ pants and a solid tee from walmart.
kid 5 receives non-PJ sweatpants and a hoodie from abercrombie.
once kids 1, 2, 3, and 4 were old enough to realize what was going on, they started questioning their parents as to why they couldn't have abercrombie hoodies too. family member said they couldn't possibly purchase 5 abercrombie hoodies.
IMO, what's done for 1 should be done for the other. That's the only way to be fair when little kids are involved.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:38 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by ~Colleen~
Posted by cgdg61606
I personally wouldn't have said to get a gc to make up the difference. I would have just named the gift you had in mind and said it was $95. However, if I were a grandmother, I would spend equally on all of my grandchildren. Same as a mother, I would spend equally on all of my children.
ITA...
that's EXACTLY how i feel
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:39 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
for children, i think its more important to get them the same NUMBER of gifts, not as important to spend the same amount of money.
if one child gets one gift and another gets two, that would be upsetting im sure. they are clueless as to what these gifts cost.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:40 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
No I wouldn't.
They way I see it. If you don't make an issue of the dollar amount your kids will learn not to make an issue of the dollar amount.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:43 PM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by Mssissy
No I wouldn't.
They way I see it. If you don't make an issue of the dollar amount your kids will learn not to make an issue of the dollar amount.
Bingo
Children should be happy they received a gift, not concerened theirs cost the same as those received by others.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:55 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
That wouldn't bother me.
Quality over quantity.
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| Posted 11/2/10 4:17 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
My mother always makes all gifts equal.
I don't think it would be fair to spend more on one child than another.
JMO
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| Posted 11/2/10 4:37 PM |
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babydreams
YUMMM
Member since 5/06 1687 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Fair does NOT mean equal!
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| Posted 11/2/10 4:47 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
no.
my mom buys for me and my sister. there are 5 kids between us. I have no idea what dollar amount she spends and I would never be upset with her if I heard she got my nephew such and such and not my DD.
She does so much for us; I would never want her to think that we "deserve" more.
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| Posted 11/2/10 4:56 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Growing up my grandparents were this way. My cousins were sent to Disney world for Hanukkah and we got a bucket of popcorn for Hanukkah. Sadly, this is a true example.
I don't think I would say give a GC to make up the difference, but at some point a child is going to realize the monetary value of goods. I think you can get a DS for 120 now and that is close enough to 95 where I would not make a big deal about it.
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| Posted 11/2/10 4:58 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
My mom is even steven down to the change (yes...crazy but true).
But no i wouldn't be upset with it unless there was something else going on. If she always favored one grandchild over the other, yes it would bother me.
If it's because my niece is older & my daughter doesn't get it yet or pay attention to price tags, wouldn't bother me at all.
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| Posted 11/2/10 5:23 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
While I agree it was presumptios, and not the best or most polite approach - I DON'T buy into that whole "the thought that counts" thing -
Grandma should NOT be spending $150 on Grandchild #1, and $25 on Grandchild #2
While I dont' think she needs to spend to the penny the same amount of money, I'd be upset if my Mom spend $200 on my sister's kid, and spent $50 on mine - They may not realize when they're little, but they will when they get older -
ITA!!
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| Posted 11/2/10 5:26 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by mamabear
I think it may all be in the phrasing. As a grandparent/parent, I think the money spent on each grandchild/child should be in the same ballpark. To me, 95 and 150 are in the same ballpark. If someone asked me what they should get my DC, I give a list of ideas saying these are some things we have been thinking about getting her. Let me know if you want to get her one and we wont get that. and then i give a list of gifts ranging from really cheap (like $20 or so) to around 150-200. I don't specify the price. It's up to them at that point.
ITA!
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| Posted 11/2/10 5:33 PM |
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Jen2999
Baby girls & beagles rock!
Member since 8/06 10356 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I would have never said to my mom to "make up the difference" in a GC. 100 and 150 is not a big deal and I seriously dont think your DC would realize or notice it if she was still getting something she really wanted.
To me, getting a kid something equal in value in the eyes of the CHILD is the important part. If one grandkid wants something a little more than the other, I would never have even questioned it at all.
If it were something like Shorty's situation...ya thats not cool.
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| Posted 11/2/10 5:59 PM |
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usuk2004
I'm ONE!
Member since 5/05 5150 total posts
Name:
Farah
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by heathergirl
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
While I agree it was presumptios, and not the best or most polite approach - I DON'T buy into that whole "the thought that counts" thing -
Grandma should NOT be spending $150 on Grandchild #1, and $25 on Grandchild #2
While I dont' think she needs to spend to the penny the same amount of money, I'd be upset if my Mom spend $200 on my sister's kid, and spent $50 on mine - They may not realize when they're little, but they will when they get older -
I get that...BUT...why is everyone so preoccupied with the amount of $$ being spent? I'd rather have something great and meaingful that cost $50 than a piece of crap that cost $100  The only people caring about the cost is the parents, not the kids.
I agree. What if she got the first gift on sale and it didn't work out to be as expensive? We're talking pretty expensive gifts to begin with here - not like one is getting majorly short changed!
It's hard enough to find anyone a nice gift that you know they'll enjoy, let alone worrying that you're spending too much on one and not enough on another! My mother has four grandchildren, I would never ever compare how much she spends on each.
My mantra - it all evens out in the end.
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| Posted 11/2/10 6:00 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by annoyedTTCer
Posted by Mssissy
No I wouldn't.
They way I see it. If you don't make an issue of the dollar amount your kids will learn not to make an issue of the dollar amount.
Bingo
Children should be happy they received a gift, not concerened theirs cost the same as those received by others.
ITA, but will add *I* wouldn't be unequal to my kids or future grandkids. It would annoy me if my MIL did that, but she does so many other things that annoy me, it wouldn't make the list
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| Posted 11/2/10 7:04 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by LML
I agree with your mom. It's more about the thought than about how much is spent.
ITA.
She bought your niece a big ticket item and she is willing to buy your daughter something she wants. BUt isn't it a little ridiculous to match dollar for dollar. Maybe next year your dc will want something big and then she will purchase that.
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| Posted 11/2/10 9:06 PM |
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jprimrose
I love my little munchkins!
Member since 10/05 3939 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by Smileyd17
Im in the minority.
I feel spend the same amt or as close as possible.
IDK, fair is fair.
ITA
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| Posted 11/2/10 9:11 PM |
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baby-o
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 592 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
my parents are equal to a fault and anything they bought me they bought my sister or made sure to give her the difference. to this day if they buy something for my sister they'll write me a check for the difference. so i'm in the minority here....i think your mom should spend the same on each grandchild.
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| Posted 11/2/10 9:39 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by jprimrose
Posted by Smileyd17
Im in the minority.
I feel spend the same amt or as close as possible.
IDK, fair is fair.
ITA
I happen to agree too. But in fairness, this is an almost daily reoccurence in my family. I have a lot of resentment over this issue, so I can relate. That said, I don't think I would ask my mom for a gift card to make up the difference, I think I would just quietly sit back and be annoyed over the whole thing. My mom always spends more on my niece for her bday and the holidays then my DS, to the point where you think I'd be used to it, but nope. It still stings each and every time.
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| Posted 11/2/10 9:43 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by Jen2999
I would have never said to my mom to "make up the difference" in a GC. 100 and 150 is not a big deal and I seriously dont think your DC would realize or notice it if she was still getting something she really wanted.
To me, getting a kid something equal in value in the eyes of the CHILD is the important part. If one grandkid wants something a little more than the other, I would never have even questioned it at all.
If it were something like Shorty's situation...ya thats not cool.
ITA!
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| Posted 11/2/10 11:54 PM |
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