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Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)

Member since 5/06

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remember, when Gulliver traveled....

Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Getting back to basics

gist: a young couple moves back in to the husband's childhood home and lives with in-laws.

pros: saving money and spending time as a more dedicated family unit

it's a feel good piece, so I didn't see them list any cons Chat Icon

so...would you do it...would you bite the bullet and move in with your parents/inlaws (or have the parents/inlaws move in with you)?

Posted 3/5/09 1:31 PM
 
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anonttcer
BOOOO for fall!

Member since 7/06

10082 total posts

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Meaning a NON ttcer!

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Only if ABSOLUTELY necessary. Like if we had no other choice.

Not just to cut back or save some cash.
No way could I do it!

Posted 3/5/09 1:37 PM
 

baghag
:P

Member since 5/05

10278 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by anonttcer

Only if ABSOLUTELY necessary. Like if we had no other choice.

Not just to cut back or save some cash.
No way could I do it!



Same here.

Posted 3/5/09 1:39 PM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

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Me

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

No, I wouldn't. I pride myself on being able to support ourselves, and this situation seems like it allows them to put off growing up. In the article, the wife got married at 20, the husband was working at a fast food place, they owned three cars and a motorcyle, yet credit themselves as being hard workers...What was the plan? I think in some cases it allows people to remain without responsibilities, and to put off growing up. If you're not mature enough to plan ahead, to me you're not mature enough to get married.

And he went back to college and now basically isn't working. That's great, and I am a college professor and value the education, but what's the plan in another 2 years if he can't find a teaching job and still cannot afford his own place?

Posted 3/5/09 1:39 PM
 

GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!

Member since 11/06

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Shawn

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by anonttcer

Only if ABSOLUTELY necessary. Like if we had no other choice.

Not just to cut back or save some cash.
No way could I do it!



ITA. Only as an absolute last resort. However, with that being said, I've designed my house reno to make it somewhat convenient for DC to live at our house if they can't afford to move out.

Posted 3/5/09 1:40 PM
 

MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!

Member since 7/06

12020 total posts

Name:
MJ

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

absolutely not. only if we were in dire straights and couldn't afford our own place cause of unemployment, debt, medical reasons, etc.

to each their own--but i can not imagine moving back in with my parents. nope--just wouldn't work. my parents were never the kind to want the nest to stay full. if anything my dad tried his hardest to get us all the eff out. Chat Icon

and i would rather live in a drug & cockroach infested shelter than live with my ILs. (sadly the former scenario would probably be nicer than my ILs home)

i'd rather take longer to save money - than lose my independence. but that's just me.

Posted 3/5/09 1:40 PM
 

lucyloo
nope

Member since 1/06

9758 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by baghag

Posted by anonttcer

Only if ABSOLUTELY necessary. Like if we had no other choice.

Not just to cut back or save some cash.
No way could I do it!



Same here.



Same here. We lived with my parents while we were engaged and for about 6 months after being married until we moved into our house. It really helped to save up for a downpayment.

Posted 3/5/09 1:40 PM
 

LastLightGlow
Mystic.

Member since 4/07

2665 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Hmmm, maybe for 6 months tops IF they had the room and ONLY if it was because we were literally going to move into our new house afterwards.

Posted 3/5/09 1:40 PM
 

lucyloo
nope

Member since 1/06

9758 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Yes, and I'd have octuplets.



Chat Icon Chat Icon

Message edited 3/5/2009 1:41:56 PM.

Posted 3/5/09 1:41 PM
 

architectnycity
LIF Adult

Member since 1/06

2592 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

I know people who have done it when the economy was decent. They saved a ton of money for a house.

Posted 3/5/09 1:41 PM
 

BunnyBaby
Loving Motherhood!!!

Member since 11/07

1238 total posts

Name:
Audrina

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Hell friggen no.

We have too much pride.

Not only that, I can't live with my parents. We would be at each others throats day in & day out.

Posted 3/5/09 1:43 PM
 

DirtyBlonde
*****

Member since 11/07

7344 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

if i HAD to, i could either way. his parents travel a lot and we'd see them very little. with my parents, he'd love how much my mom would cook for us.


but since i don't like the DH very much right now...yeah Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/09 1:45 PM
 

glinda-goodwitch
:-)

Member since 7/06

9149 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Absolutely not. Too much pride. I wouldn't even take money from my ILs so we could go to the Dominican Republic with DH's cousin and brother. Instead, we didn't go because we couldn't afford it. It was nice of them to offer, but I don't roll that way.

Posted 3/5/09 1:46 PM
 

headoverheels
s'il vous plaît

Member since 6/07

42079 total posts

Name:
LB

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

i actually suggested that to DH. it's not really an option for us because of all the space we would need, but he was totally against it anyway. i wouldn't mind living with my parents but we already lived with his... well as you can see we're not there anymore Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/09 1:50 PM
 

Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)

Member since 5/06

23378 total posts

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remember, when Gulliver traveled....

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

we live with my MIL but the situation is a bit different b/c WE support HER.

but I have to say, I think it's great to be surrounded by family. we have built in child care for when the time comes, and though it can get annoying, having our nieces around so much makes everyone closer.

I have already told my friends/family that if anyone was to lose their job, our house in the OC will be waiting for them. living together is not always the most comfortable, but like anything else, you work it out.

I just couldn't imagine watching my loved ones fall into delinquency or even bankruptcy b/c of what is happening in the world today. not if I could help them by opening my home.

It could also be b/c we had people less fortunate than us (as impossible as that sounds to me Chat Icon ) living with us at various point in my childhood.

family is family. you live and die with that blood running through you.

Posted 3/5/09 1:50 PM
 

CaMacho
Sisters :)

Member since 7/06

15112 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Sure, we would move back in with either set of parents if we had to for a while.

Posted 3/5/09 1:50 PM
 

Ambersmom
Straight up nasty

Member since 5/05

7740 total posts

Name:
Sharon

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

If I was in dire straights; if things with John and I didn't work out, if he/I lost our jobs and I was forced to rent out the house, then yes I would. I would never willingly move out of my house and into my parents. I love them to pieces but I moved in there (for a temporary stay) after ex and I sold the house and it was VERY DIFFICULT. My Dad and I were having power struggles over the bathroom every morning (he is retired so lord knows where the F he "needed" to go everyday when I needed the shower), he would open my mail, etc. On the weekends where I didn't have Amber (she was with ex) and I wanted to visit John, my Mom would be calling all over the place; demanding to know when I'd be home, etc. Meanwhile she knew I would be there for the weekendChat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon When I was told I had a curfew, I made plans to get out ASAP. It was a nice wakeup call for me to get my act together. But after two months, I needed for myself, my sanity and my daughter our own place. I rented for a year and then bought my own home. There is NO PLACE like your own home!!!Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/09 1:53 PM
 

neener1211
:-)

Member since 4/07

22952 total posts

Name:
J

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

We moved in with my parents for 1 week while in transition from our apt to our house. It was cramped, although the help with the baby was nice. I couldn't do it permanantly, we like our space. It would have to be a last resort.

With my inlaws, wouldn't do it-way to close of quarters. We would find another way to manage, even if it meant going to a small apt again.

Message edited 3/5/2009 2:58:07 PM.

Posted 3/5/09 1:55 PM
 

MST9106
My life:)

Member since 6/06

9589 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

I would do it, sure, temporarily, and I would allow anybody (family/friends) who needed it to move in with us as well. Thats what we have each other for, to help each other out.

Posted 3/5/09 1:56 PM
 

Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥

Member since 5/06

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The Mystical Azzhorse! ™

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by dita

Yes, and I'd have octuplets.



Chat Icon Chat Icon


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Posted 3/5/09 2:04 PM
 

CaMacho
Sisters :)

Member since 7/06

15112 total posts

Name:
Jess

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by Ophelia

family is family. you live and die with that blood running through you.



Totally agree and I don't get the "pride" thing. Does that mean you'd have less self-respect if your parents want to do things for you or offer you something? My parents and DH's are so incredibly generous and want to do stuff for us (take us on vacation, buy us the world when they come visit, etc)... and can. Honestly, and they've told us this, it makes THEM happy! DH and I hope to do the same for our future kids throughout their lives.

Posted 3/5/09 2:06 PM
 

MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!

Member since 8/07

8806 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

I didn't read the link so I don't know the whole story, but I wouldn't have a problem living with my mother or my IL's if necessary ('if necessary' being the key words).

DH and I have an Italian/Hispanic background though, so living with your family for a loooong period of time Chat Icon or with extended family is not unheard of. Shoot, I'd never have to cook or clean again if I lived with my MIL! I might have to speak with her about this. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/5/09 2:09 PM
 

maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief

Member since 10/07

17048 total posts

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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by CaMacho

Posted by Ophelia

family is family. you live and die with that blood running through you.



Totally agree and I don't get the "pride" thing. Does that mean you'd have less self-respect if your parents want to do things for you or offer you something? My parents and DH's are so incredibly generous and want to do stuff for us (take us on vacation, buy us the world when they come visit, etc)... and can. Honestly, and they've told us this, it makes THEM happy! DH and I hope to do the same for our future kids throughout their lives.



ITA!

We'd do it in a heartbeat if we had to.

My parents have a HUGE house and it's just the two of them in there (+pets) and we'd have tons of room and privacy. I love my parents.. they are my best friends - I think it would work.

Posted 3/5/09 2:10 PM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Posted by CaMacho

Posted by Ophelia

family is family. you live and die with that blood running through you.



Totally agree and I don't get the "pride" thing. Does that mean you'd have less self-respect if your parents want to do things for you or offer you something? My parents and DH's are so incredibly generous and want to do stuff for us (take us on vacation, buy us the world when they come visit, etc)... and can. Honestly, and they've told us this, it makes THEM happy! DH and I hope to do the same for our future kids throughout their lives.



I said we are proud that we can afford our own home. To be honest, it just wouldn't feel the same to me to have a bigger house but know that my parents gave us the downpayment. What we have may not be much, but the fact that we earned it ourselves just is so valuable to me.

I would always have a place in our home for my mother, should anything happen, but I think I would feel like a failure if I couldn't afford my own place and had to go back to my childhood bedroom or basement.

Posted 3/5/09 2:13 PM
 

Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!

Member since 5/08

9818 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?

Never. Ever.

eta: Unless it was absolutely necessary - to the point where we'd be living on the streets if we didn't move in with them.

Message edited 3/5/2009 2:20:35 PM.

Posted 3/5/09 2:18 PM
 
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