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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
I would do it as a last resort.
It's not an issue of whether they would make it easier - both sets of parents are easy going. DH would NOT move in with relatives, but given a situation where they need to live with us (whether it be financial, medical, etc), they'd be with us in a heartbeat.
Posted by CaMacho
Posted by Ophelia
family is family. you live and die with that blood running through you.
Totally agree and I don't get the "pride" thing. Does that mean you'd have less self-respect if your parents want to do things for you or offer you something? .
Yes I would have less-self respect for myself if I had to move in with family for financial reasons. I feel that I'm an adult & should be able to support myself & my family - and not rely on our parents to do that.
Our parents are incredibly generous with both of us throughout our lives. While I think it's wonderful that they want to do things for us, I think it comes a point where you need to stand on your own two feet.
I could see it if I was in my 20s, no kids & saving to buy a house, but otherwise - it's not for me.
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Posted 3/5/09 2:22 PM  |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Since my MIL lives with me and I pay my mom's rent, I would say NO, it really isn't an option for me. 
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:22 PM |
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KimberlyScott
Graceyn=My World <3
Member since 10/08 4173 total posts
Name:
Kimberly
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
I don't see why not. I know that DH would have some issues with it. In fact I would love that right now! I'm OOS and really miss my parents.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:24 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Posted by nov04libride
I said we are proud that we can afford our own home. To be honest, it just wouldn't feel the same to me to have a bigger house but know that my parents gave us the downpayment. What we have may not be much, but the fact that we earned it ourselves just is so valuable to me.
I would always have a place in our home for my mother, should anything happen, but I think I would feel like a failure if I couldn't afford my own place and had to go back to my childhood bedroom or basement.
that's cool.
I pride myself on many things, but I hope that I would not get too down on myself if conditions outside of my control put my in the position where I needed the help of my family.
that's why I think in a way we are so whacked here. (not directing this to you) we pride ourselves on our ability to generate money to get and do certain things. so much of our sense of self worth depends on that...and really, there is so much of that beyond our control that it's almost an unstable pedestle for it.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:25 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
No.
DH and I have had this conversation in the context of if we needed to look at our options would we consider this to be one of them.
Moving back in with DH's parents isn't an option... they live upstate.
Moving in with my parents - I just couldn't do it. I love love love my parents dearly. But I just could never (and I don't feel like getting into the reasons as to why).
DH and I live by the notion that we would make "it" work. Whatever "it" may be... we've always made "it" work in the past.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:25 PM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
Member since 7/06 15112 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Posted by nov04libride
I said we are proud that we can afford our own home. To be honest, it just wouldn't feel the same to me to have a bigger house but know that my parents gave us the downpayment. What we have may not be much, but the fact that we earned it ourselves just is so valuable to me.
I would always have a place in our home for my mother, should anything happen, but I think I would feel like a failure if I couldn't afford my own place and had to go back to my childhood bedroom or basement.
Oh I wasn't referring to you or anyone specifically but noticed some said they had too much pride to move back home or accept things from their parents or IL's.
I totally get what you're saying, but in this economy anything can happen and I don't think anyone should feel like a failure (unless they brought it upon themselves) if they had to make the decision to move back in with parents for a while.
Message edited 3/5/2009 2:26:31 PM.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:26 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Never.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:27 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
BTDT best thing ever for us.
I pride myself in having enough money to buy cars in cash.
Paying up front for degrees.
Banking all my paychecks so that when the time comes I have the choice to SAH.
Was it easy? no.
Necessary? no.
It was life changing.
It got us exactly where we want to be in life.
I am a planner. Everything was planned.
I will always sacrafice if the end result is worth it. I am a complete doer. I don't whine or wish, I plan, sacrafice, and do. That's why I moved home.
I paid rent to my parents. I cooked our food. It was a business relationship.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:28 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
it's not really an option for me-
My Dad lives in FL
I could move into my Grandma's house- but it would be a last resort
my rent is very cheap right now- allowing me to save money and hopefully buy a condo this year
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:30 PM |
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snowbunny
LIF Infant
Member since 11/08 146 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Never.
Part of being an adult is supporting yourself.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:30 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Posted by Janice
BTDT best thing ever for us.
I pride myself in having enough money to buy cars in cash.
Paying up front for degrees.
Banking all my paychecks so that when the time comes I have the choice to SAH.
Was it easy? no.
Necessary? no.
It was life changing.
It got us exactly where we want to be in life.
I am a planner. Everything was planned.
I will always sacrafice if the end result is worth it. I am a complete doer. I don't whine or wish, I plan, sacrafice, and do. That's why I moved home.
I paid rent to my parents. I cooked our food. It was a business relationship.
I think you are my other twin sister.
this part sealed it for me
Posted by Janice
I will always sacrafice if the end result is worth it. I am a complete doer. I don't whine or wish, I plan, sacrafice, and do. That's why I moved home.
.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:32 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Absolutely.
We are in the process of renovating our basement into an IL suite, in anticipation of this happening down the road.
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:35 PM |
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Tine73
Member since 3/06 22093 total posts
Name:
*********
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
If I had to I would. I'd have a live in babysitter! 
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| Posted 3/5/09 2:39 PM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Yes, if we were in trouble and needed to move in temporarily with the IL's or my mom we would do it. We have a great relationship with my mom and with DH's parents.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:03 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Absolutely not, unless we were in dire circumstances and it was the only option other than becoming homeless. I love my family very much, but I do not want to live under the same roof as them at this point in my life.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:05 PM |
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
If we had to. It would be a last resort and only temporary
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:18 PM |
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LIMOMx2
...
Member since 5/05 24989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Only if they had an apartment in their home or we were desperate.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:19 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Only if the only other option was living on the streets.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:29 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Yes. I would do it.
I wouldn't WANT to do it... but if worse came to worse I would do what would be best for the survival of my family.
ETA: I would have taken my parents in regardless of economics.. I would have loved them here. My IL's.. not so much.. but if they needed a place they would be here without a question.
Message edited 3/5/2009 3:35:42 PM.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:34 PM |
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jerrysgirl
I love my hot dog!!
Member since 6/06 5357 total posts
Name:
E & J
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
we discussed this before getting married when we couldn't find anything to buy. i won't live with his parents due to privacy issues and he won't live with my parents even though we would have had a separate apartment. so we pushed the wedding back 6 months.
eta: for dh's parents we might have to move in with his parents in the future to take care of them.
Message edited 3/5/2009 3:56:08 PM.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:54 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
In a heartbeat. If you don't have family to rely on or to rely on you...what do you have?
Would it be easy? no...but I would do it either way in a heartbeat if that was what I had to do.
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| Posted 3/5/09 3:59 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
We dont have in-laws so it hard to say. But prob only if it was last resort and I was desparate.
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| Posted 3/5/09 4:02 PM |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
I would if I had to- but only if it was my parents house. I wouldn't mind it so much either- we all get along very well. My mom would probably even start doing my laundry again. That I definitely wouldn't mind!
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| Posted 3/5/09 4:05 PM |
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MrsM-6-7-08
<3
Member since 8/06 4249 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
If we lost our house, and DH lost his business
and we had no where to go, then yes
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| Posted 3/5/09 4:10 PM |
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Cheeks24
Living a dream
Member since 1/08 8589 total posts
Name:
Cheeks
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Re: Would you do this, or a similar arrangement in these tough times?
Never! ILs house is too small for all of us!
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| Posted 3/5/09 4:47 PM |
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