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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
I got an invite to a b-day party from the live-in GF of a guy who attended my wedding. It was addressed to:
DancinBarefoot Maiden Name & Guest. 
I was delivered by the post office two days before the RSVP date, but I didn't get it b/c it went to my office and I was off.
The RSVP date has passed, but I still need to respond. I have a potential problem w/ getting a babysitter on less than 10 days notice.
I want to send an email stating:
1. didn't get the invite timely, that's why RSVP is late;
2. can only say IF we find babysitter DH & I will be there;
and finally, I really want to sign the email DancinBarefoot Married Name.
How rude is that????
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Posted 7/17/09 12:04 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
I'd probably fib a tiny bit and say that not only was it sent to your office address, that it was delayed for an additional period of time b/c your maiden name was used. Doesn't sound though that you are too interested in going regardless of the timing of the receipt...
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:10 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by Cpt2007
I'd probably fib a tiny bit and say that not only was it sent to your office address, that it was delayed for an additional period of time b/c your maiden name was used. Doesn't sound though that you are too interested in going regardless of the timing of the receipt...
I'm not interested in going, but for a variety of reasons I can't burn the bridge either. I honestly didn't have the opportunity to fully discuss going with DH before the RSVP date given the overwhelming notice  .
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:12 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
If it was me, if I had anything to say about the reasons I might not be able to make it, I wouldn't say it in an annoyed way. Just matter of fact, or apologetic - I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I can make it because I have trouble getting a babysitter depending on the time that I have. Can I get back to you in x days?
I say this because if they're unmarried and without children, they're probably not considering who has to get babysitters in order to make it. A couple of week's notice would have been better, I'm sure. But they might have put it together late too.
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:17 PM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
I usually say something like "sorry I didn't respond sooner, but I only got the invitation after the RSVP date." I would also mention that as much as I would like to go (whether that is true or not) it is all dependent upon whether or not I can get a babysitter. If she needs a head count ASAP, we will have to decline, but if she can let us decide at the last minute, we will try our best to make it.
And I would sign it DancinBarefoot marriedname.
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:19 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by greenfreak
If it was me, if I had anything to say about the reasons I might not be able to make it, I wouldn't say it in an annoyed way. Just matter of fact, or apologetic - I'm sorry, I'm not sure if I can make it because I have trouble getting a babysitter depending on the time that I have. Can I get back to you in x days?
I say this because if they're unmarried and without children, they're probably not considering who has to get babysitters in order to make it. A couple of week's notice would have been better, I'm sure. But they might have put it together late too.
He is divorced with 3 kids - I don't know about her. I don't believe the party was thrown together last minute either based on a conversation with another invited guest (who got the invite before I did).
I need to RSVP via email, so I'm not sure how it will come across in general - that's part of the reason I was asking for input.
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:35 PM |
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I have a potential problem w/ getting a babysitter on less than 10 days notice.
I'm pretty sure I know someone who wouldn't mind helping you out!! 
And I would DEF sign the email DancinBarefoot MarriedName.
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:42 PM |
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
I recently had a similar situation for a birthday party and I responded in a sort of passive aggressive way, like, "oh, we already had plans by the time we received your invitation last Friday."
As for the last name, with the reverse situation, people send me things addressed to Kerie B (DH's last name) and I respond as Kerie S because, well, that's my name!
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| Posted 7/17/09 12:44 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
I recently had a similar situation for a birthday party and I responded in a sort of passive aggressive way, like, "oh, we already had plans by the time we received your invitation last Friday."
As for the last name, with the reverse situation, people send me things addressed to Kerie B (DH's last name) and I respond as Kerie S because, well, that's my name!
I totally "get" that the G/F doesn't know my last name . . . but the b-day boy was at my freakin' wedding and knows I'm still married and we have a kid. There are people we know in common to get the married name OR if you think I'm using maiden name to get DH's name. The whole "and guest" thing on the envelope was just bizarre.
I think part of the problem is I'm still very annoyed at something he did while I was PG, and the "and guest" is serving as a reminder.
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| Posted 7/17/09 1:05 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin
Posted by DancinBarefoot
I have a potential problem w/ getting a babysitter on less than 10 days notice.
I'm pretty sure I know someone who wouldn't mind helping you out!!
And I would DEF sign the email DancinBarefoot MarriedName.
I only impose on family to babysit on a Saturday night. My friends actually have lives that keep them busy on the weekends (at least I like to think so).
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| Posted 7/17/09 1:07 PM |
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INhiding4now
LIF Zygote
Member since 11/08 37 total posts
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
I have to say, I would have def. asked DH if I didn't know someone;s married name.. but theres a good chance he wouldn't remember. So I can see how it got sent to that name, but It would still bother me, had it happened.
As for a babysitter, I'm sure you can ask her if you can let her know by x date, if she says no, then let her know you can't make it, you just got the invite, and have a child. That's really not unrealistic. You can ALWAYS add people on, its more annoying when people don't show and you've paid for them.
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| Posted 7/17/09 1:24 PM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Is the party for the GF or the friend who came to your wedding? If it was the friend, after the party I'd send a note to him saying you're sorry you couldn't make but since it was such short notice, you couldnt' get a baby sitter and then make a joke about how even though she attended the wedding, she didn't realize you were married.
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| Posted 7/17/09 1:28 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by MrsList
Is the party for the GF or the friend who came to your wedding? If it was the friend, after the party I'd send a note to him saying you're sorry you couldn't make but since it was such short notice, you couldnt' get a baby sitter and then make a joke about how even though she attended the wedding, she didn't realize you were married.
The invite is from the g/f for the guy who came to my wedding (she was not his g/f when I got married). I have never ever met said g/f, so for her to have gotten my name and work addy she would have had to ask the b-day boy himself.
He is the one who doesn't know/couldn't remember DH's name to give to her. However there is another couple that is invited to the party and the b-day boy knows darn good and well that that couple would know DH's name (heck that couple hosted my wedding ceremony in their home!).
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| Posted 7/17/09 1:41 PM |
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
I recently had a similar situation for a birthday party and I responded in a sort of passive aggressive way, like, "oh, we already had plans by the time we received your invitation last Friday."
As for the last name, with the reverse situation, people send me things addressed to Kerie B (DH's last name) and I respond as Kerie S because, well, that's my name!
I totally "get" that the G/F doesn't know my last name . . . but the b-day boy was at my freakin' wedding and knows I'm still married and we have a kid. There are people we know in common to get the married name OR if you think I'm using maiden name to get DH's name. The whole "and guest" thing on the envelope was just bizarre.
I think part of the problem is I'm still very annoyed at something he did while I was PG, and the "and guest" is serving as a reminder.
The whole thing is definitely rude, especially the "and guest," thing. I would probably refuse to go to an event with DH if someone called me "and guest" this far into our marriage!!!
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| Posted 7/17/09 11:31 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by Kerie-is-so-very
I recently had a similar situation for a birthday party and I responded in a sort of passive aggressive way, like, "oh, we already had plans by the time we received your invitation last Friday."
As for the last name, with the reverse situation, people send me things addressed to Kerie B (DH's last name) and I respond as Kerie S because, well, that's my name!
I totally "get" that the G/F doesn't know my last name . . . but the b-day boy was at my freakin' wedding and knows I'm still married and we have a kid. There are people we know in common to get the married name OR if you think I'm using maiden name to get DH's name. The whole "and guest" thing on the envelope was just bizarre.
I think part of the problem is I'm still very annoyed at something he did while I was PG, and the "and guest" is serving as a reminder.
The whole thing is definitely rude, especially the "and guest," thing. I would probably refuse to go to an event with DH if someone called me "and guest" this far into our marriage!!!
There is just so much more behind the scenes to this story than this single instance of rudeness.
I sent the email stating that I got the invite late, and I couldn't say if we could attend or not given the babysitting issue. The g/f wrote back and said e could bring DD if we wanted, and if not a last minute just show up kind of thing was OK.
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| Posted 7/18/09 12:08 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
if he doesn't know about the party (not sure if this is the case) then his g/f asking what your married name is and your DH's name might have been weird.
i would be less concerned about that than the fact that you got an invite on such short notice.
i'm not one to get annoyed about names though. i have no problem correcting them, i doubt it was done with malice.
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| Posted 7/18/09 1:39 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by headoverheels
if he doesn't know about the party (not sure if this is the case) then his g/f asking what your married name is and your DH's name might have been weird.
i would be less concerned about that than the fact that you got an invite on such short notice.
i'm not one to get annoyed about names though. i have no problem correcting them, i doubt it was done with malice.
He has to know about the party or I wouldn't have been invited at all. I've never met the g/f and he would be the only person that could provide my name & addy to send the invite to. That's part of what makes the way it was addressed weird.
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| Posted 7/18/09 9:27 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by headoverheels
if he doesn't know about the party (not sure if this is the case) then his g/f asking what your married name is and your DH's name might have been weird.
i would be less concerned about that than the fact that you got an invite on such short notice.
i'm not one to get annoyed about names though. i have no problem correcting them, i doubt it was done with malice.
He has to know about the party or I wouldn't have been invited at all. I've never met the g/f and he would be the only person that could provide my name & addy to send the invite to. That's part of what makes the way it was addressed weird.
Is it possible she "borrowed" his phone book without him knowing? I am pretty sure my sister did that when she made a 30th birthday party for me. I am not sure about anyone else, but I dont always update my phone book with new names because I just know them and use the book for addresses and phone numbers. Someone else may not know the up to date info.
Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Although the invite was mailed late, I dont think people send out party invitations with the intent to offend.
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| Posted 7/18/09 11:09 PM |
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waterspout4
My loves
Member since 5/06 19150 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
All things considered, I can't keep track of all my friend's new married names. 
Plus, many of them actually kept their maiden names. Some refer to me by my maiden name.
But the whole 'and guest' thing is weird.
Now, what the hell is your name again?
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| Posted 7/18/09 11:16 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: WWYD - Need Quick Help/Input
Posted by Christine
Posted by DancinBarefoot
Posted by headoverheels
if he doesn't know about the party (not sure if this is the case) then his g/f asking what your married name is and your DH's name might have been weird.
i would be less concerned about that than the fact that you got an invite on such short notice.
i'm not one to get annoyed about names though. i have no problem correcting them, i doubt it was done with malice.
He has to know about the party or I wouldn't have been invited at all. I've never met the g/f and he would be the only person that could provide my name & addy to send the invite to. That's part of what makes the way it was addressed weird.
Is it possible she "borrowed" his phone book without him knowing? I am pretty sure my sister did that when she made a 30th birthday party for me. I am not sure about anyone else, but I dont always update my phone book with new names because I just know them and use the book for addresses and phone numbers. Someone else may not know the up to date info.
Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Although the invite was mailed late, I dont think people send out party invitations with the intent to offend.
I've known the man for a lot of years - the idea of him having an address book is hilarious!! The invite was sent to my office - not my home.
My beef is that it would have been very very easy to get DH's name and not send a married woman an invite addressed to Miss DancinBarefoot Maiden Name and Guest. Heck - even if the invite had shown up as Mr. and Mrs. DancinBarefoot Maiden Name, I would have been less offended.
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| Posted 7/19/09 10:15 AM |
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