WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

DH and I are on very bad terms at the moment and have been since the beginning of the year when I caught him lying to me. We are barely talking. He has been on the sofa since New Years day.

I have a scheduled c/s next week and I really don't want him there BUT I'd never deny him that experience. The problem is I dunno how I'm going to do it. I'm so angry and hurt that I barely want to be in the same room with him now. We keep trying but nothing is working. I am seriously just FULL of anger which isn't like me. I am the last person to hold a grudge when I see the other person genuinely trying.

I'm just sad that unlike my first son; where we were so close, in love and just 1 unit; this time we are miserable.

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I can't tell you what to do, but think of it this way....if it was the other way around, you would want to be there for the birth. And later when you and DH are over this fight, you will want to have shared that moment together.

Try to look past the anger and focus on bringing this new baby into the world.

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

Thanks. that is what im trying to concentrate on. I mean, I would never ever ever tell him he couldn't be there. There are no circumstances ever that I would deny him seeing the birth of his son.

Its just so hard.

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

just wanted to add....does he already know the date/time you are scheduled for the c-section? (just asking since you said you've been fighting for over a month).....if not I would probably write him a note saying regardless of what we're going through right now the c-section will be next week on ____ so be ready to be there for the support I will need. (I am so not good at saying things like this without seeming half snarky!!).

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

oh he knows the when and where. We can talking for house stuff and kids stuff. We arent talking about us and the issues.

we are going together, etc. we are also keeping up a "everything is ok" front for the family.

my DH is an AMAZING dad so for stuff related to the kids we put everything on the back burner work really well as a team. i hope that since the birth is obviously about our son we can do that too. My issue is that we were really able to share that moment for DS#1 and I'm not sure I can be all lovely dovey this time around.

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you in such a momentous time in your lives. Hopefully you can put the hard feelings behind you and focus on rebuilding your family trust and start with a new beginning with your LO. Good luck

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

Many, many for you. I hope it all works out in the end

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

so sorry for having to go through this right now, especially since emotions are running so intense with a baby on the way!! if time allows it, could you possibly get into counseling? it sounds like you have some serious issues that arent going to go away. when you come home with the baby, im sure you know things are not going to disappear either. best of luck and lots of hugs

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

i have no answers but just sending you

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I can't imagine what you are going through but I hope you can put your stuff aside and try to enjoy the moment your new lo arrives


Maybe after the baby is born ~ try some counseling? Good Luck with everything!

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I'm so sorry and I dont have any advice for you.

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I'm so sorry your dealing with this during what should be a very happy time for your family. I know I would not want to go into the birth of my child being so angry and upset and my DH. I would suggest sitting down with him this week and talking things out. Coming up with a way to work through things. It might help you release some of the anger and work towards repairing. There won't be time for this once the baby is here and with your hormones after the birth, the emotions will be too strong to talk it through.

Good luck

Re: WWYD: Fighting with DH and birth?

I hope that this baby will bring you guys back as 1 unit. I would think that as long as the lying does not have to do with any kind of cheating, now’s the time to try and get things back together. This should be a joyous time in your life.