| Posted By |
Message |
MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
DH often gets into fights with his mother (sometimes he's at fault, sometimes she is, and sometimes it a combination.) When he is mad at her he pulls the "kid card" and won't allow her to come over and see the kids on a particular day. I don't necessarily agree with this but he thinks I should take his side and go with it. Would you allow your MIL to come anyway?
The thing is I try to stay out of their business (although they both are ringing my phone at the same time to complain) but when the kids are involved it is my business. How would you handle?
|
Posted 8/31/09 11:48 AM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
I would tell him to try not to use the kids as barter...
But if he feels he has to, I'd go with him, its his mother....
Sorry
|
| Posted 8/31/09 11:53 AM |
| |
|
MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
Posted by KateDevine
I would tell him to try not to use the kids as barter...
But if he feels he has to, I'd go with him, its his mother....
Sorry
okay, what if this particular time he is SOOOO wrong in the fight.
|
| Posted 8/31/09 11:55 AM |
| |
|
KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by KateDevine
I would tell him to try not to use the kids as barter...
But if he feels he has to, I'd go with him, its his mother....
Sorry
okay, what if this particular time he is SOOOO wrong in the fight.
Honestly? When it is my DH and his mom, I stay a hundred million miles away and just try to stay out of it...
I mean, you have to live with HIM, not her, KWIM?
|
| Posted 8/31/09 11:59 AM |
| |
|
Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Posted by KateDevine
I would tell him to try not to use the kids as barter...
But if he feels he has to, I'd go with him, its his mother....
Sorry
okay, what if this particular time he is SOOOO wrong in the fight.
Is there any chance you can talk to him (when he calms down) and come to a compromise? I.e., I promise NOT to discuss "xyz" with your Mom, but you have to promise not to use the kids as pawns? Or whatever 'solution' works regardless of whose at fault? I think it's great that you see the problem with putting the kids in the middlle and want to avoid that btw!!
|
| Posted 8/31/09 12:04 PM |
| |
|
dawnygirl25
Growing up soo fast..
Member since 1/06 14917 total posts
Name:
Dawn
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
I agree - unfortunately, Id stay out of it. 
|
| Posted 8/31/09 12:04 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
If I feel DH is wrong I will tell him.
I would not let ANYONE use my kids as barter. There are not toys to be borrowed when he wants to share.
It's completely unfair and immature in my opinion!
If you have issues with your parents, either let them see the kids or not at all. But don't use the kid as leverage.
|
| Posted 8/31/09 12:06 PM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
Unless it is something that involves the kids, I would have a discussion with him and tell him that it is not fair to anyone to use the kids as leverage in an argument with his mom.
His mom is disappointed because she doesn't get to see the kids (which I guess is his point)
Your kids don't understand why grandma isn't around.
You have to act as the enforcer of such a rule.
If the stuff they are fighting about is just "stuff" and not the kind of stuff that ends relationships and it isn't because she is doing something that hurts the kids or undermines you as parents, then I think he isn't fighting fair and I would tell my DH that he has to figure out another way to deal with his mom cause this isn't working.
|
| Posted 8/31/09 12:17 PM |
| |
|
MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
|
Re: WWYD in this situation? (repost from relationships)
Posted by smdl
If I feel DH is wrong I will tell him.
I would not let ANYONE use my kids as barter. There are not toys to be borrowed when he wants to share.
It's completely unfair and immature in my opinion!
If you have issues with your parents, either let them see the kids or not at all. But don't use the kid as leverage.
I agree and will tell him when he's wrong. It's never anything serious they fight over and grandma sees them all of the time. He knows that that is the one thing that will upset her most so that's why he does it.
So do you tell DH he's wrong, and his mom can come over and see them, or do you just tell him he's wrong and you just don't agree with what he's doing?
|
| Posted 8/31/09 12:27 PM |
| |
|
