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legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 850 total posts
Name:
K
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WWYD - sticky situation
DH and I own a 2 family home and we rent the other part of our house.
Yesterday we came home and the outside of my house was entirely decorated for Halloween, top to bottom. There is just stuff all over my lawn, my house, everywhere. DH and I were just staring until DH said it looked like were having a Halloween garage sale. 
I appreciate that my tenant took the initiative to decorate and some of the stuff is definitely cute. I just feel like
a. She should have discussed decorating my house with me beforehand AND
b. I wanted to decorate my own house! I like doing that. I'll admit that last year we didn't do anything b/c my wedding was coming up right after Halloween so we really didn't have time to decorate but I always did before that. She also decorated my house for Christmas last year but I didn't say anything b/c we had our HM, followed by 2 OOS weddings, so we weren't home to deal with it. They have small kids so I could understand why she didn't want the house looking so blah for the holidays.
How do I approach my tenant about this? I want to decorate my own house and some of this stuff has got to go. I can not live for the next few weeks with my house looking like this. We are not the Griswald's. I'm not sure how I can approach this in a tactful way. Any advice?
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Posted 10/14/08 11:45 AM  |
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MissingLI
Such a Big Boy!
Member since 1/06 1602 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Ouch, that is sticky.
Maybe just tell her that you really appreciate her taking the time to decorate the whole place, but that you were really looking forward to decorating this year. Maybe talk to her about what went on last year and that this year it was something you really wanted to do yourself.
Hopefully she is understanding (she should be anyway considering it's your house).
Good luck! 
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| Posted 10/14/08 11:48 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Honestly, I don't think YOU are the one who has to be concerned w/ being tactful or nice about the situation -
You OWN the home and you live there - I can understand wanting to decorate for her small kids, but it's not her home to decorate !! - She can decorate the INSIDE of her apartment. -
A. She should NEVER have done that w/o asking you - For Christmas as well, WHO pays that electric bill?
B. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to be peeved or insulted if YOU as the homeOWNER don't want your house decorated AT ALL, or decorated YOUR way -
C. I would honestly just tell her that you enjoy decorating the house yourself and you'd appreciate it if she kept her decorations confined to her own living space - It's not an unreasonable request at all -
And IMO it's not a 'sticky situation' - she completely overstepped !!!
Message edited 10/14/2008 11:51:12 AM.
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| Posted 10/14/08 11:49 AM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Wow, they way over stepped their boundaries. 
I would calmly explain that it is your house and you have your own decorations that you plan to put up and ask her to refrain from taking such liberties in the future.
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| Posted 10/14/08 11:52 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
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They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by MarisaK
Honestly, I don't think YOU are the one who has to be concerned w/ being tactful or nice about the situation -
You OWN the home and you live there - I can understand wanting to decorate for her small kids, but it's not her home to decorate !! - She can decorate the INSIDE of her apartment. -
A. She should NEVER have done that w/o asking you - For Christmas as well, WHO pays that electric bill?
B. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to be peeved or insulted if YOU as the homeOWNER don't want your house decorated AT ALL, or decorated YOUR way -
C. I would honestly just tell her that you enjoy decorating the house yourself and you'd appreciate it if she kept her decorations confined to her own living space - It's not an unreasonable request at all -
And IMO it's not a 'sticky situation' - she completely overstepped !!!
ITA. You're not the one who overstepped her bounds - your tenant is. I'd be polite, but firm, in telling the tenant that she has no right to decorate the outside of the house - any decorations must be confined to her living space. PERIOD. I'd also ask that SHE personally remove all the decorations immediately.
You don't have to be mean about it, but you certainly don't have to be overly nice and accomodating either.
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| Posted 10/14/08 11:53 AM |
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legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 850 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by Kara
Posted by MarisaK
Honestly, I don't think YOU are the one who has to be concerned w/ being tactful or nice about the situation -
You OWN the home and you live there - I can understand wanting to decorate for her small kids, but it's not her home to decorate !! - She can decorate the INSIDE of her apartment. -
A. She should NEVER have done that w/o asking you - For Christmas as well, WHO pays that electric bill?
B. She has ABSOLUTELY no right to be peeved or insulted if YOU as the homeOWNER don't want your house decorated AT ALL, or decorated YOUR way -
C. I would honestly just tell her that you enjoy decorating the house yourself and you'd appreciate it if she kept her decorations confined to her own living space - It's not an unreasonable request at all -
And IMO it's not a 'sticky situation' - she completely overstepped !!!
ITA. You're not the one who overstepped her bounds - your tenant is. I'd be polite, but firm, in telling the tenant that she has no right to decorate the outside of the house - any decorations must be confined to her living space. PERIOD. I'd also ask that SHE personally remove all the decorations immediately.
You don't have to be mean about it, but you certainly don't have to be overly nice and accomodating either.
This is exactly how I feel but my DH told me I was being a witch with a capital B.
The problem is that our tenants are DH's friends. They get away with all kinds of crap a regular tenant would not get away with...all DH's doing (They lived there in the house before I came along) b/c he doesn't want to strain his friendship. IMO, they shouldn't be putting US in a situation where we feel uncomfortable about what they are doing. DH hates confrontation and would NEVER say anything to them which totally pisses me off. So that is why I have to take this into my own hands and deal with it. I really hate this. 
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| Posted 10/14/08 12:10 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Seeing as they're DH's friends - personally - I'd put up with the Halloween decorations.. then say "your Halloween decorations look cute - I will decorate for Christmas" .
I'd be non-confrontational in this situation too - in the grand scheme of things - they DID overstep their bounds but why cause a fight over Halloween decorations?
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| Posted 10/14/08 12:25 PM |
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ave1024
I Took The Wrong Road
Member since 12/07 6153 total posts
Name:
That Led To The Wrong Tendencies
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by Jenn627
Seeing as they're DH's friends - personally - I'd put up with the Halloween decorations.. then say "your Halloween decorations look cute - I will decorate for Christmas" .
Best advice.
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| Posted 10/14/08 12:34 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Jenn627
Seeing as they're DH's friends - personally - I'd put up with the Halloween decorations.. then say "your Halloween decorations look cute - I will decorate for Christmas" .
Best advice.
I disagree - Especially reading that they were 'there before you' - You're his wife, it's YOUR house. They are friends and tennants. Just b/c they have overstepped before should not mean that you should continually have to be disappointed b/c you can't decorate your OWN house for the holidays the way YOU want to -
And honestly, if your DH has never said anything to them before and they get away w/ all kinds of crap, then they HONESTLY may assume that you are fine with it -
I wouldn't make her take these decorations down, but I'd be VERY clear in letting her know that decorating the house is a big deal for you and something you will enjoy and look forward to doing, so in the future, YOU will handle the outdoor decorations .......End of story.
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| Posted 10/14/08 12:40 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by ave1024
Posted by Jenn627
Seeing as they're DH's friends - personally - I'd put up with the Halloween decorations.. then say "your Halloween decorations look cute - I will decorate for Christmas" .
Best advice.
totally agree!!
Honestly, it's a sticky situation that you guys kinda made. For over a year they decorated and you guys didn't say a word. Of course they assumed it was okay to do again!
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| Posted 10/14/08 1:04 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by MarisaK
I disagree - Especially reading that they were 'there before you' - You're his wife, it's YOUR house. They are friends and tennants. Just b/c they have overstepped before should not mean that you should continually have to be disappointed b/c you can't decorate your OWN house for the holidays the way YOU want to -
And honestly, if your DH has never said anything to them before and they get away w/ all kinds of crap, then they HONESTLY may assume that you are fine with it -
I wouldn't make her take these decorations down, but I'd be VERY clear in letting her know that decorating the house is a big deal for you and something you will enjoy and look forward to doing, so in the future, YOU will handle the outdoor decorations .......End of story.
By saying, I will decorate for Christmas, substitute Christmas with "the other holidays".
That is what I meant. I don't think this particular situation calls for being adamant about decorating.
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| Posted 10/14/08 1:20 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by Jenn627
Posted by MarisaK
I disagree - Especially reading that they were 'there before you' - You're his wife, it's YOUR house. They are friends and tennants. Just b/c they have overstepped before should not mean that you should continually have to be disappointed b/c you can't decorate your OWN house for the holidays the way YOU want to -
And honestly, if your DH has never said anything to them before and they get away w/ all kinds of crap, then they HONESTLY may assume that you are fine with it -
I wouldn't make her take these decorations down, but I'd be VERY clear in letting her know that decorating the house is a big deal for you and something you will enjoy and look forward to doing, so in the future, YOU will handle the outdoor decorations .......End of story.
By saying, I will decorate for Christmas, substitute Christmas with "the other holidays".
That is what I meant. I don't think this particular situation calls for being adamant about decorating.
Exactly - You can phrase it any way you think will be best received and most effective. - Even if you explain to her that you didn't mind previously b/c you weren't home or didn't have time - OR, if you 'give' her Halloween and tell her you'd prefer to decorate for the remaining holidays . -
Either way, IMO you're not doing anything wrong. You're not going to march over there and demand she take everything down this instant - You're just letting her know, as your tennant, that in the future you would like to do your own decorating .........
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| Posted 10/14/08 2:30 PM |
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metagefken
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/08 679 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
you can take the practical approach by removing the stuff from the lawn and telling them that the lawn is still growing and needs to be cut. at that point let them know that you would like to do your own decorating for all holidays from now on.
i, on the other hand, wouldnt be as tactful. i'd just rip it all down, hand it all back and tell them that the outside of the house is off limits. but, thats just me.
Message edited 10/14/2008 5:23:59 PM.
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| Posted 10/14/08 5:23 PM |
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legallyblonde
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 850 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Posted by metagefken
i, on the other hand, wouldnt be as tactful. i'd just rip it all down, hand it all back and tell them that the outside of the house is off limits. but, thats just me.
 That's what I would LIKE to do.
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| Posted 10/14/08 5:29 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Whatever you do, you need to make it clear that you are setting boundaries. I get that they are your DH's friends - but they are also your tenants and this is also YOUR house. Friends or not, I wouldn't tolerate this behavior. I'd find a tactful way to address it, but I sure would not let them get away with it just because it might be uncomfortable to say something.
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| Posted 10/14/08 5:32 PM |
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LI-Joy
Member since 10/07 2910 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
We are not the Griswald's.
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| Posted 10/14/08 11:37 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: WWYD - sticky situation
Initially when I read your post, I thought - wow, your tenant has balls.
But mainly, I think when faced with tenants who might do the exact opposite - trash your house - I'd consider myself lucky that the tenants spent their own money to do what they think is improving the way your home looks during holidays. I'd just tone down the tackiness a bit.
At this point, they're probably pretty bold because they've done it before without any discussion. I know you had a lot going on but it doesn't take long to have a talk with them. In addition, you admitted they get away with things, so it probably doesn't occur to them that it's an issue anymore.
What I would do is this. Have a conversation with whoever decorated - an actual conversation, not a lecture - and work it in the conversation that although you didn't have time for previous holidays, you were dissapointed because this year, you were really looking forward to decorating yourself. So how about for Halloween/Thanksgiving, you move some of her crappy-@ss decorations  to the back of the house or her apt. for now and for future holidays, you decide what to do together before anyone spends money.
That way she gets the idea it's something you do together. She still gets to decorate and feel like she's in a home and not just an apartment. And really, if she's footing half the bill for decorations, I wouldn't be that upset.  Just keep a tally of what's yours and what's hers so that when they move out, there's no argument.
I know my proposed solution isn't as easy or as quick as a "How dare you!" kind of response. But you have to live with them, until they move out, and they are DH's friends. This is a battle I would compromise on. If there are other more serious issues, with money or whatnot, those are the ones I'd have a talk with DH about and get resolved. 
I live by the three strike rule mostly... First strike - I'm being nice and understanding. Second strike - my hackles are up and I'm showing you that I'm not happy. Third strike - I take action.
Whatever happens, I hope your house looks great for Christmas! 
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| Posted 10/15/08 7:28 AM |
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