WWYD (Preschool) LONG

My DS started his 2nd yr full day preschool. He has always LOVED school / daycare and done well. This year, new teacher and class and after the first day we started getting calls and notes that he has a behavior problem. After a week they said they thought he might have an OT issue and suggested that he be evaluated. We were asked to start a behavior book for communicating with the teacher. We sent it in and got a THREE PAGE response on BAD behavior. There is a behavior chart in the room with different colors you start at green and can go yellow and red. My DS came home and said "I really tried but I got red today." We have been all over him about making sure he does good listening and follows instructions. Is he an angel? No. Is he a good kid? Absolutely - EXCEPT with this teacher.

We are beside ourselves, put in to have the OT evaluation, set up an appt with the ped to make sure there wasn't another issue we were missing.

Then we get the three page note. Here is a summary of his bad behavior

*Acting very silly on the walk to the classroom jumping like a "frog." Had to speak to him twice
*Walked with his eyes closed and hit into another child, the other child was injured with a bump on the head
*Center time DS and his buddy fought over a mouse at the computer
*Writing center DS and his buddy built the marker up one on top of the other and made swords and hit the markers against each other. They both sat out for writing
*Difficult at nap and rolled off the cot continously he was put in a chair in the center of the room. DS made noises with his hand and mouth. Told him to stop and warned him the would go to the office
*Tried hard to behave at table tops

I read this and re-read this and I get that he has to follow directions BUT he's also just 4. My heart is breaking that school is not "fun" for him, he loved doing work, he looked forward to going to school and now he thinks he's just "bad." Should he have done better with some of the things above? Probably, but am I wrong to think that this is a bit much for expectations for a 4 year old?

Looking for honest opinions (always hard to take the mom blinders off)

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

Is the teacher inexperienced? Everything you have mentioned sounds like typical behavior of a 4 year old. It also seems like the teacher fixating on these behaviors can be causing them to get worse. I am a teacher and I also taught preschool. These are not things I would contact a parent about.

I actually had a similar issue when my daughter was 3 and went to preschool. I wrote a letter to the teacher and told her that I thought it was typical behavior of a three year old. I would get notes home everyday about my 3 year old not being able to lay on a cot. There should be a backup plan for those students. A book or something. How can you expect a 3 or 4 year old to lay down when they aren't tired?

As a teacher you have to be proactive and I see none of this with what you are describing.

Message edited 9/25/2014 10:36:54 AM.

WWYD (Preschool) LONG

The teacher has been there over 20 years

WWYD (Preschool) LONG

I teach fifth graders now and they still have marker fights....lol
Sorry sounds like this teacher did not build any relationship /rapport with your son. Why couldn't she say something like "We don't act like froggies on line?" I think something like that goes a long way.

As a parent, I don't think I would want to read 3 pages on how the teacher thinks my child isn't behaving the right way. It really sounds like she is going overboard. I ask to switch teachers or find another school.

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

I agree with the above. While I don't condone those things, they sounds like 4 year old behaviors. A good teacher should be able to redirect. How do you feel the supervision is? I mean it had to take a minute or two for them to build swords with markers. I know my child's teacher wouldn't have let it get that far.

Have you asked what the teacher is trying in class? You can work with him at home but I would want to know what they are doing there.

Sounds like maybe he is bored? Maybe they could give him a silent activity at rest time. We never had rest time bc we were only 3 hours. Maybe he could looks at books, quietly draw away from the group.

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

My DS is 5 and just started Kindergarten and we're having the same problems with the same types of behaviors. The teacher is acting like he's out of control but everything she is writing in his behavior book seems like normal 5 year old behavior to me. His teacher has been in the school for over 15 years so it's not like she's new, but yet she acts like he's the ONLY 5 year old she's ever dealt with that is silly and has trouble listening.

Sorry you're going through this. I know how heartbreaking it is to have your child come home everyday thinking he had a "bad day" when in reality I don't think he's really doing anything unusual for his age

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

Maybe it's the intensity, frequency and duration of the behaviors that are causing problems in the classroom. Also how does he respond to redirection and adult directed demands? It sounds like the teacher is suspecting there might be an underlying cause for the interfering behaviors. Also the Red, Yellow Green behavioral managment system stinks. It's basically 2 strikes and your out. Once your on red, there is no getting back to green so what's the point in "being a good listener"? He might need movement breaks throughout the day and a much better, more individualize behavioral managment system. It won't hurt to get him evaluated and any info you gain will help figure out what's getting in the way of his functioning in school.

ETA: I would ask the teacher 2 things. 1). What strategies does she use to prevent interfering /off task behaviors? (The red, yellow, green system is reactive not proactive )
2) what does the school day and curriculum look like? (Is it developmentally appropriate or are the expectations too high/rigorous). There also might be too much waiting time durian and between activities.

Message edited 9/25/2014 2:19:39 PM.

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

Ugh, I have gone through this. I feel for you. I did get my son qualified for OT, but then they disqualified him after 10 sessions! FM me if you need support!

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

He's only 4 and in full day school.
Also there's another kid doing the same things so that there aims to normal....
Personally, I think a lot of it is the teacher from your description.

DS was in 1/2 day Pre-k last year and really that is all his attention level could handle.

And he turned 5 in the midst of it because he has a 12/30 bday.

We've been through the eval process too and interestingly enough, all of DS teachers thought we were jumping the gun.

Re: WWYD (Preschool) LONG

The class seems very inappropriate. Boredom and frustration leads to many behavior problems. I think you need to act now and put your son somewhere more appropriate.

WWYD (Preschool) LONG

Isn't the whole point of preschool to learn rules and routines/social skills? Sending a note home about jumping on line is ridiculous.