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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Yeah, exactly. The first example reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with ‘Jimmy’. It sounds like you can’t speak properly or have a language disorder. And if you do have a language disorder, then fine. But I don’t think she does. I’m not so sure though judging by all the mistakes…
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Posted 2/18/22 12:36 PM  |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Not to me but I would replace it with them. Why is this difficult to understand that MOST of us on here are agreeing to do that.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:41 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
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Your name Lisa [sic], I will Call [sic] you Lisa. Although, you specifically [sic] I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting.
Ask you if you care about my opinion? What are you whining about?
I was participating in a discussion and asked you a question. If you can only resort to insults and scare tactics, then I don’t know what to tell you.
But why even ask if you can use pronouns that people ask you to use, when you clearly can’t even use the English language properly.
"I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting. "
Not sure if you are just using this in context or IRL as this is confusing now.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:46 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Putting all drama aside- just from a totally practical standpoint, that's a LOT of Lisa's
I would definitely throw a "Her" in there a few times if you are asking what I would normally do.
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with her? She said her parents would take you around 4."
That would be my normal vernacular in a case like this.
Exactly and if Lisa wants to be called he or they or them or any other way to call them, then you would DO THAT. I am not understanding how cut and dry this is and some are making it more difficult and trying to get others to say they wouldn't do that.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:49 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Not to me but I would replace it with them. Why is this difficult to understand that MOST of us on here are agreeing to do that.
I agree with what you are saying here.
But I am confused because you said this a few pages back:
No clue and that was my point. You can identify as whomever you want, do whatever you want in your bedroom but I have never seen a gender reveal using ANY of the 70 other genders they claim to have now. You are a boy or girl. What you do in your own time, with your sex life, is for YOU and only YOU. No one should be telling you, you are wrong as I think we are ALL on the same page with. But the they/them crap is just ridiculous. You have a name, use your name.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:50 PM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
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Your name Lisa [sic], I will Call [sic] you Lisa. Although, you specifically [sic] I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting.
Ask you if you care about my opinion? What are you whining about?
I was participating in a discussion and asked you a question. If you can only resort to insults and scare tactics, then I don’t know what to tell you.
But why even ask if you can use pronouns that people ask you to use, when you clearly can’t even use the English language properly.
Bored with you Lisa. Going to enjoy this nice day in NY instead of arguing with clowns. Again go kick rocks dear.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:50 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by mommy2devin
"Go kick rocks", "girl bye"..... but preach kindness and are kindness police on this board. Typical.
Kling didn't say anything absurd, she asked a question. If someone asked you to use "they" instead of "he" or "she" why is that so hard?
For example, your child has a friend, Lisa. Lisa asked your daughter to go to the movies. This is how it goes?
"Joanne, Lisa asked if you want to go to the movies. Do you want to go with Lisa? Lisa said Lisa's parents would take you around 4. Did you want to go with Lisa?"
OR, would you replace Lisa a couple times with "her"? And if Lisa requested to use the pronoun "them", then what?
Not to me but I would replace it with them. Why is this difficult to understand that MOST of us on here are agreeing to do that.
I agree with what you are saying here.
But I am confused because you said this a few pages back:
No clue and that was my point. You can identify as whomever you want, do whatever you want in your bedroom but I have never seen a gender reveal using ANY of the 70 other genders they claim to have now. You are a boy or girl. What you do in your own time, with your sex life, is for YOU and only YOU. No one should be telling you, you are wrong as I think we are ALL on the same page with. But the they/them crap is just ridiculous. You have a name, use your name.
Yes, go by your name, whatever that may be. You can NOT deny that MOST people are born with the sex of a girl or boy though. I think MOST people when thinking of sex DO consider it gender, example gender reveals. We are all wrong calling it that though I guess.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:53 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
]
Your name Lisa [sic], I will Call [sic] you Lisa. Although, you specifically [sic] I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting.
Ask you if you care about my opinion? What are you whining about?
I was participating in a discussion and asked you a question. If you can only resort to insults and scare tactics, then I don’t know what to tell you.
But why even ask if you can use pronouns that people ask you to use, when you clearly can’t even use the English language properly.
Bored with you Lisa. Going to enjoy this nice day in NY instead of arguing with clowns. Again go kick rocks dear.
Yes, you’re the clown; you’re arguing with yourself. There was no argument on my part. I asked questions.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:54 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
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Your name Lisa [sic], I will Call [sic] you Lisa. Although, you specifically [sic] I call by another name.
Next time be KIND, and ask me if I care about your opinion doll
I don’t go by that name. I go by another name that my family and friends use. So, no, don’t call me by that name. It’s rude and insulting.
Ask you if you care about my opinion? What are you whining about?
I was participating in a discussion and asked you a question. If you can only resort to insults and scare tactics, then I don’t know what to tell you.
But why even ask if you can use pronouns that people ask you to use, when you clearly can’t even use the English language properly.
Bored with you Lisa. Going to enjoy this nice day in NY instead of arguing with clowns. Again go kick rocks dear.
She says she doesn't go by that name as far as I take from that post. Which is quite surprising.
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| Posted 2/18/22 12:54 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
The grieving process for parents with regards to things not turning out how you expect is more for real life changing circumstances, not something like you're describing. For example, imagine that the daughter you birthed and raised wishes to now identify as a male. That is a tough one. Of course, any decent parent will continue to love and support that child regardless but I get how it might take some time for a parent to process all of that. It's a lot.
I don't think a parent needs to go through any type of grieving process if their son or daughter brought someone home of a different skin color, ethnicity, religion, etc. If they do, that person might need to look inward to fix all of that racism and hate inside of them.
I would not care if my daughter wanted to identify as a male as long as that is what made him happy. I do not care. There would be no grieving process for me. My child is still alive, the same person he always was. If you are a certain religion and your child decides they no longer want to practice the religion you raised them are you going to grieve? I don't know - if my kid is happy and healthy that is legitimately all I care about. I would grieve if they died and I would be upset if they were ill. I am not saying all parents would or should be like me but that is how I am.
I think maybe you're missing what I and CookiePuss are saying. All any parent cares about is that their children are happy and healthy, that's not even debatable. But as parents we do have hopes and dreams for our children and it's natural for a parent to picture the future for their kids in some type of way. When there is a drastic change to what you envisioned it might just take a minute to adjust to the new reality. It's doesn't mean you're disappointed in your child or that you love them any different or less, there are just some major life shifts that might cause a parent to grieve what they lost and accept the new situation they are gaining. That is totally normal.
And again, we're referring to MAJOR life changes here as in a gender reassignment. A child who is raised as a Catholic and now wants to practice as a Lutheran (as an example) certainly does not fall into the scope of what we are talking about here.
Realistically, most parents won't ever encounter a situation where they need to grieve anything about their child but there are parents out there, for sure, that have gone through such a process and the point being made is that it's normal. And ok.
Actually you are completely missing MY POINT. Just because you and Cookie would grieve in this circumstance, I WOULD NOT. Why are you trying to explain this to me? I understand what is involved. This is not an issue that would cause me to grieve. I have no preconceived notions of what my children will become and that is where the difference between you and me lies. You would probably grieve if your daughter married a jew and decided to convert and didn't put 20 Christmas trees up in her house. I literally have zero expectations of the people that my children will become. My ONLY hope and dream is that they are happy in whatever path they choose. There have been circumstance in my life that have placed my priorities where they are. Please stop acting like I just can't imagine what this experience would be like for a parent.
Message edited 2/18/2022 1:46:02 PM.
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| Posted 2/18/22 1:43 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by CookiePuss
Posted by lululu
Posted by CookiePuss
There are 2 very long time users that are going through this with their teen children right now.
If you saw the pain, the devastation, the fear, the longing that they have for their children to just be typical. Just be the same as most. They have lost what they dreamed of for their children and will forge new paths for them. They watch their children be taunted, ostracized, bullied EVERY DAY! Every day they worry - will this be the day that my child decides they can't go on? That the pain and unknown is too much. Will this need to transition to what I feel I really am be cause me to hate myself so much that I take my life?
Those are things they deal with every minute of every day.
It's not woke culture or following the trend.
And if you or your children are too d@nm uncomfortable to use a pronoun to make someone else feel better or more included - then shame on you!
Some of the comments on this thread are disgusting and show how morally bankrupt some of you are.
I am sure that it must be very difficult to see your child go thru anything that they are struggling with but I never really understood when parents are disappointed when their child chooses a path that is different than what they perceive to be the "right" or the typical path. I want my child to chose the path that makes them the happiest. It is their life to live, not mine. I did not have them to mold them into what I want them to be. I had them to raise them to be the best and happiest version of themself. And especially when it pertains to something that is not a path that you really choose - I would hope I would just embrace it and love and support them.
The bullying and being ostracized - I am sure that that is gut wrenching. I would consider moving to the city or some place where I thought my child might not have to endure as much of that.
that is why you forge a new path and accept them as they are.
Instead of being transgender or fluid - say it's missing a limb. You are not sad that this is your child but you may be sad or disappointed that the dreams you had for your child are changing and different. It's so easy for parents to typical children not to understand that there is a grieving process for parents. There is that poem about going on a trip and having your plans set for one place but landing in another.
You're so right. I think it's definitely a grieving process. While every parent only wants the best for their children there are circumstances where it might take a little more time to come to terms with the new reality of who your kid is or is becoming. That's ok though, it's a normal progression to go through. It certainly doesn't mean that you love your child any less or that you don't want the best for them, sometimes it just takes a minute to shift your thinking from "what should be" to "what actually is".
I guess I don't have a "what should be." I never have. Even when my son was born my MIL was trying to get me to relate to how disappointed she was that her son married a non jew by asking me how I would feel if he brought home a girl with a different ethnicity. Besides being appalled at how completely and utterly racist she was I said I wouldn't care if he brought home a man who was a different ethnicity. I don't care. at all.
The grieving process for parents with regards to things not turning out how you expect is more for real life changing circumstances, not something like you're describing. For example, imagine that the daughter you birthed and raised wishes to now identify as a male. That is a tough one. Of course, any decent parent will continue to love and support that child regardless but I get how it might take some time for a parent to process all of that. It's a lot.
I don't think a parent needs to go through any type of grieving process if their son or daughter brought someone home of a different skin color, ethnicity, religion, etc. If they do, that person might need to look inward to fix all of that racism and hate inside of them.
I would not care if my daughter wanted to identify as a male as long as that is what made him happy. I do not care. There would be no grieving process for me. My child is still alive, the same person he always was. If you are a certain religion and your child decides they no longer want to practice the religion you raised them are you going to grieve? I don't know - if my kid is happy and healthy that is legitimately all I care about. I would grieve if they died and I would be upset if they were ill. I am not saying all parents would or should be like me but that is how I am.
I think maybe you're missing what I and CookiePuss are saying. All any parent cares about is that their children are happy and healthy, that's not even debatable. But as parents we do have hopes and dreams for our children and it's natural for a parent to picture the future for their kids in some type of way. When there is a drastic change to what you envisioned it might just take a minute to adjust to the new reality. It's doesn't mean you're disappointed in your child or that you love them any different or less, there are just some major life shifts that might cause a parent to grieve what they lost and accept the new situation they are gaining. That is totally normal.
And again, we're referring to MAJOR life changes here as in a gender reassignment. A child who is raised as a Catholic and now wants to practice as a Lutheran (as an example) certainly does not fall into the scope of what we are talking about here.
Realistically, most parents won't ever encounter a situation where they need to grieve anything about their child but there are parents out there, for sure, that have gone through such a process and the point being made is that it's normal. And ok.
Actually you are completely missing MY POINT. Just because you and Cookie would grieve in this circumstance, I WOULD NOT. Why are you trying to explain this to me? I understand what is involved. This is not an issue that would cause me to grieve. I have no preconceived notions of what my children will become and that is where the difference between you and me lies. You would probably grieve if your daughter married a jew and decided to convert and didn't put 20 Christmas trees up in her house. I literally have zero expectations of the people that my children will become. My ONLY hope and dream is that they are happy in whatever path they choose. There have been circumstance in my life that have placed my priorities where they are. Please stop acting like I just can't imagine what this experience would be like for a parent.
Can you have a conversation without resorting to being a complete a$$hole? Isn't that routine getting old?
I was having a legitimate back and forth discussion with you (or so I thought) but for some reason you cannot seem to avoid being snide especially when it's completely uncalled for. I have no preconceived notions regarding my children AT ALL and want nothing for them other than happiness in whatever they choose. But this conversation isn't about me and my kids, I am simply stating that I'm sympathetic to a parent who might struggle in certain situations and understand the point Cookie was trying to make.
Enjoy your weekend. I'm done here.
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| Posted 2/18/22 1:58 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Can you have a conversation without resorting to being a complete a$$hole? Isn't that routine getting old?
I was having a legitimate back and forth discussion with you (or so I thought) but for some reason you cannot seem to avoid being snide especially when it's completely uncalled for. I have no preconceived notions regarding my children AT ALL and want nothing for them other than happiness in whatever they choose. But this conversation isn't about me and my kids, I am simply stating that I'm sympathetic to a parent who might struggle in certain situations and understand the point Cookie was trying to make.
Enjoy your weekend. I'm done here.
To completely honest, no I can not have a conversation with you without turning into an a$$ hole. Mainly because you are so extremely condescending. You are trying to explain to me how I would feel in reality, not even knowing me at all. Because you and Cookie would feel a certain way does not mean that everyone does. Everyone handles things differently.
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| Posted 2/18/22 2:08 PM |
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JennP
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 3986 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: They/Them
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
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| Posted 2/18/22 7:59 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by JennP
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
Thank god you commented to set everyone straight! You are so knowledgeable in just about everything! If it weren’t for you, we would all be lost
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| Posted 2/18/22 8:23 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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They/Them
I know I asked someone at some point if they would tell their children to purposely call someone by the wrong pronoun. I did it mainly to point out how silly it sounded because I don’t think anyone on here, regardless of their opinion on pronouns, would actually outright disrespect another human being if they were face to face with them. They may roll their eyes when they walk away, but they wouldn’t be a jerk if faced with this situation.
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| Posted 2/18/22 9:16 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Anotherplease
Posted by JennP
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
Thank god you commented to set everyone straight! You are so knowledgeable in just about everything! If it weren’t for you, we would all be lost
 
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| Posted 2/18/22 9:41 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by LuckyStar
I know I asked someone at some point if they would tell their children to purposely call someone by the wrong pronoun. I did it mainly to point out how silly it sounded because I don’t think anyone on here, regardless of their opinion on pronouns, would actually outright disrespect another human being if they were face to face with them. They may roll their eyes when they walk away, but they wouldn’t be a jerk if faced with this situation.
I would love to know how often people on here have come across these situations. No one has answered this question.
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| Posted 2/18/22 9:43 PM |
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RomeyT
LIF Infant
Member since 1/21 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Anotherplease
Posted by JennP
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
Thank god you commented to set everyone straight! You are so knowledgeable in just about everything! If it weren’t for you, we would all be lost
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
It’s amazing how it always the same few individuals who seem to know everything without giving an inch during debate.
“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
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| Posted 2/19/22 7:10 AM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by Anotherplease
Posted by JennP
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
Thank god you commented to set everyone straight! You are so knowledgeable in just about everything! If it weren’t for you, we would all be lost
Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes.
It’s amazing how it always the same few individuals who seem to know everything without giving an inch during debate.
“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
That’s because IRL, no one will debate them and just let them win so not have to deal with the “I am always right” attitude.
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| Posted 2/19/22 7:44 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: They/Them
This is a nice break from arguing about covid and the vaccine.
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| Posted 2/19/22 9:57 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Anotherplease
Posted by JennP
I don't think anyone is saying that anyone needs to run up and down the street and ask people their pronouns. It's about common sense, empathy, and courtesy.
I have a co worker who was new to my school and I wasn't sure what their pronouns were. I asked another colleague who knows them better and she told me what they liked to be called. Now we have them in our email signatures and it's great because people can state their desires and others can double check easily.
I really can't imagine the trauma that feeling like you are uncomfortable in your body, or feeling unsure what gender you identify with can cause, particularly when exacerbated by how reactionary some people are.
The world is changing and I am grateful for it. These are things that youth have killed themselves over. If the life of a young person is saved because they feel they can be themselves no decent human being cares if that somehow makes a bunch of regressive, ignorant people uncomfortable.
I can understand that people who are learning about this now have questions, might get confused, make mistakes, etc. I certainly don't know everything. But anyone who dismisses this as a "woke trend" because "two genders have always worked" or whatever was said is just an asshole.
Another thing I find particularly vile is pointing to the phrasing of a trans person to justify dismissing this issue because you are literally weaponizing the words of one person against their community. And to whoever invoked the words of someone who is gay... please do some reading on this subject from an actual unbiased source because they are not remotely the same thing.
Thank god you commented to set everyone straight! You are so knowledgeable in just about everything! If it weren’t for you, we would all be lost
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| Posted 2/19/22 10:39 AM |
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mxoxom2004
LIF Infant
Member since 1/21 125 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
Um, you still use their name but instead of using the he/him or she/her pronouns, you just use they/them.
For example. "Hey, there's Elliot. I wonder where they are going. That jacket looks good on them.
https://www.mypronouns.org/how
Message edited 2/19/2022 11:00:15 AM.
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| Posted 2/19/22 10:45 AM |
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MrsWoods
LIF Adult
Member since 4/12 1461 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by MrsWoods
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by RomeyT
Posted by mxoxom2004
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't think anyone on this thread has said they will purposely call someone a pronoun they asked not to be called. Or ignore a request by a person to be called a certain pronoun just to be a real asshole
Or teach their kid to do that.
But everything gets spun.
Everything
It is seriously unREAL.
It's as if people don't want to read or are just already so on attack mode they don't see what is actually being said.
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
It sounds extremely weird and awkward. The whole concept is silly. Even if you don’t feel like a boy or a girl , you are biologically one or the other. Feel however you like internally, but don’t expect other people to cater to it with this silliness.
Who you like and what you do in your bedroom should mean NOTHING to anyone else but yourself. You do you but to push it on these kids that they need to come out as one of these 70 something genders and for businesses to have to put on their forms, male, female or other is just ridiculous.
“ Whatever someone identifies with isn’t what sexual organ they were born with.”
Amazing this has worked for a LONG time and everyone was fine with it.
They / them is silly because it’s asking people to use made up words that defy material reality. I don’t like having my speech policed and I don’t like being asked to use words that I feel reflect fantasy.
My kids are as compassionate as they come. You raise compassionate kids by showing them how to love, give and embrace however that doesn't mean as as a parent have to force them to worry about how the may offend a VERY VERY small population. Most people are not worried about being called they/them. That is crazy. As long as my kids are kids, they will identify people to how they see them, boy or girl, he/she, Miss, Mr. etc just like we always have all these years. I refuse to have them bend to this woke trend.
Silly. Ridiculous. Roll My Eyes. Woke Trend. Really inspires a feeling of inclusion and understanding for how other people feel.
Facts don’t care about your feelings. For every piece of scientific literature that is pushed forth supporting gender dysmorphia there is another calling its legitimacy into doubt. And that’s OK because people should be allowed to form different opinions without getting attacked by the liberal “know-it-all” brigade.
This isn't about a "know-it-all" brigade or whatever you are spouting off about. Call people what they want to be called. It's called decency.
A name and pronouns are very important to people. It's a part of their identity. You don't get to dictate what someone calls themselves. I'm sure if you are manly looking and someone referred to you (collective) as a 'he,' you would feel embarrassed.
You also don't get to dictate whether or not someone has to call you anything. Works both ways
Yeah, no. I get to dictate what someone calls me by *my* name. It's my identity. Can't accept that? not my problem.
ETA: I have been called many names because my parents gave me lots of names. I choose. Bottom line. Call me that or that's it.
Are you talking about names or me referring to you as they/them. I have no problem calling you by your name but i will not starting saying "Hey They!" Whats your name? I will say your name whether chosen or born with it.
Um, you still use their name but instead of using the he/him or she/her pronouns, you just use they/them.
For example. "Hey, there's Elliot. I wonder where they are going. That jacket looks good on them.
So proper English grammar, got it
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| Posted 2/19/22 10:54 AM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Sash
This is a nice break from arguing about covid and the vaccine.
Best quote of the thread
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| Posted 2/19/22 11:52 AM |
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Re: They/Them
I haven't read every single post, but maybe this was already said. To comment on the grammatical side, singular "they" is absolutely grammatically correct. Academic style guides, such as MLA and APA, contain this information.
And I absolutely believe in respecting people's pronouns.
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| Posted 2/19/22 12:01 PM |
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