Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

I'm not sure if this is a vent or if I'm looking for advice... just sad, I guess..

I feel like my elementary age child is friends with everyone. Very social, out going, etc..
Yet there are no "real friends". No one to call on the weekends to hang out, no one to make plans with, etc. It breaks my heart. We've had kids over our house. They all have fun, play nice together.. and then it stops. Nothing is ever reciprocated. It's never bothered me before, but I think my LO is starting to notice and therefore, it's weighing on me.
:( I know a lot of kids play sports and travel on the weekends, but do people still have playdates? How old was your child(ren) when they met good friends they wanted to hang out with socially outside of school?

Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

I'm sorry. It's so hard to be a parent and see these things happen. Do you have any neighborhood kids around? Sometimes those kids are the easiest friends to have since they just congregate outside whenever they are bored. Does your child participate in any activities outside of school? Maybe look there for new friends.

Sadly, I can relate to this as an adult who has a lot of acquaintances but no real close friends. it's hard.

Re: Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

This is my 3rd grader. It's a really weird dynamic. I can't explain it. I feel so bad for him all the time. My other 2 have non stop playdates and true BFFs but for some reason, this is a weird grade. I really have no advice to offer because I don't know how to fix the problem either but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I just keep him involved in sports and activities and I hope he meets his people along the way.

Re: Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

Yes I feel this with my 8 year old. She wants to hang out with friends , but I feel no one does playdates. I am hoping as she gets older it will be easier (I figure by middle school she will have a phone, and then she can text her friends directly to make plans).

Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

Find neighborhood kids for her to hang out with. That has been our saving grace. It also helps to have a weekly activity (sports, dance, scouts) so they can make friends outside of school or build better connections with kids they know.

My child is 9. We do occasional play dates, but not a ton. I hate organizing play dates, but try to do it once a week during the summer since I’m off. My son usually plays with neighborhood kids daily. Some weekends, he is in and out of my house with kids from 10-6. They ride bikes from house to house.

My son also plays travel isoccer and the schedule is unpredictable so scheduling weekend playdates is difficult. He’s also invited to a decent number of birthday parties from a lot of different friend groups. He definitely did not get his socializing ability from me.

ETA: my son had no friends in kindergarten (2019) and first grade (2020). In second grade, he made a neighborhood friend which I feel like really jump started his other friendships. It also could’ve just been a coincidence as things started to get back to a more normal state post Covid.

Message edited 11/3/2023 6:49:19 PM.

Friends with everyone, but has no real friends

I feel your pain - both my kids are like this too :(