Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

You're an amazing and strong woman, and even out of this stress good things will come.

You may have to compromise on some of the renovation and take things a little slower than you would like. That's OK!! YOU don't have to do it all now. Talk with you DH, he has surprised you before with his ability to help and listen, I think he will step up now and help you. And I agree with other posters. Keep asking your family for help they will let you know what they can do or can't.

Deep breathe, this too shall pass.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

I am sorry you are going thru this you are not alone-we all go thru hard times and where when it rains, it pours!!

Your mom is probably very scared and stressed about your dad, and prob doesnt even realize the position she's putting you in.

I am so sorry about your dad-prostrate cancer is scary-but curable thank God....my dad had it too in very late stage and is fine 5 years later!

Your DH is probably stressing bc it might be difficult to take time off from work, and he could feel guilty that he cant help you more!
Its so easy when your hurting to blame and fight w/everyone around you-
but keep in mind, your DH& you have to remain a team and be eachothers support system....esp in tough times....
This too shall pass

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Oh, boy, I really wish I could help you out. If we lived on Long Island I would totally watch Ava for you. Lily would have a blast with her.

Can you sit down and talk (calmly) to your mom and tell her what you're feeling? If you can put an estimate on when you could move in (for example - the bathroom will be done in 2 weeks, so we'll be out then.) Maybe you could explain to BIL (nicely) what a bind you're in and he could help you guys bang it out quickly. If your mom sees a light at the end of the tunnel (when you're leaving), maybe it will help her calm down.

It WILL get better soon, Rachel!!! It will. Soon you'll be in your wonderful new house enjoying your space all summer long.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

one step at a time. I honestly know where your coming from, and as much as it looks like everything is caving in, it will get better. You just learn to live around it all and take it as it comes! There are plenty of great women here (me included) who will offer to help out where needed. Just let us know! Your always the first to suggest the help chain, now let us re-pay it to you!

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

ok - about Ava - drop her off here.
No joke - its not a problem, it is on the way to your new house and Ali can always use a playdate.
Rach - I am not kidding - whenever it is fine, I am home all day!!!

About your mom
She is probably under sooooo much stress, that she doesn't realize that she is hurting you right now.

Trust me as soon as you are out of their house - she will be upset that you aren't there anymore

I wish I knew something about renovating a bathroom, I can't help you with that, but I can DEFINITELY help you with Ava, that is not a problem at all

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

I am so sorry you are in a tough situation. It will get better! Hang in there!

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Rach,



There are a TON of girls on here that offered to help with meals and babysitting for other people. Maybe, we can assemble a few ladies that live near you to help with babysitting over the next two weeks? I would be more than happy to get the word out and organize it. FM me.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

No advice...just

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Rachel I will be out east all weekend in southhold at my in laws farm with talia - you are more than welcome to drop her for a playdate if you need some time.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Rachel
I wish I lived on LI... my Dh and I would have been more than happy to help out if we were local
Turn to this board for support, you know that the ladies and gents on here will help you out anyway we can

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Ok, I'm sitting at my desk crying now. You girls have really helped me feel better. I only have a minute here and there to pop on today. But I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support. I really needed to get it all out this morning. I will certainly get back to all the wonderful and amazing women who fmed me this evening. Thank you so much again. You have no idea how your responses have just helped me get myself together today.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Posted by prncss

Ok, I'm sitting at my desk crying now. You girls have really helped me feel better. I only have a minute here and there to pop on today. But I wanted to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support. I really needed to get it all out this morning. I will certainly get back to all the wonderful and amazing women who fmed me this evening. Thank you so much again. You have no idea how your responses have just helped me get myself together today.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

If there is anything we can do or if you need us to just listen do not hestiate to ask us. We are all here for you.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Hang in there...You are such a strong person and I know you will find a way to make this all work out...just so sorry that you have all of this on your shoulder's right now. Definitely take people up on their offers to watch Ava. She'll have a great time with all those kiddies.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

I am sorry to hear about your father

If there is anything I can do to help please let me know - I work from home so I am available.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

The ladies on here are great, please take them up on their offers! Also remember even if you think you have asked too much of friends and family, I'm sure that's not the case in their eyes and most of them would be glad to help! I'm sure your mom is just overwhelmed herself and needs some time, but in the meantime lean on other friends and family. Remember that this is only temporary, and that down the line hopefully you'll have a chance to help them when they need it.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

I'm sure everything will work out!! Stay positive!!

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Hang in there.

First, I agree with what another poster said about your mom feeling overwhelmed with your dad's situation so she's just venting to you but of course, you are overwhelmed yourself.

Second, I lived through an insane home redo and I had my own meltdowns even w/o kids (well, IF treatments during that time) AND my FIL organizing the job and a contractor who is practically family doing the majority of the work. Oh, and I wasn't even living in the house. Home renovations can make even the most sane person CRAZY!! I had so much experience with home renovating I should have been ok, but even with family heading the job and not having to live there it still made me nuts... 7 trips in one day to Home Depot will do that to you

My advice is, get one bathroom done, paint your bedroom and Ava's bedroom and the rest can wait.

It's also heading into a crazy time of the school year... the mad rush of concert season and wrapping up the end of the year I can't say I miss it and I thoroughly sympathize with you

Take one day at a time and do not think at all past the day of your concert... if you do you will continue to feel overwhelmed.

Oh, and in a moment of calmness try to talk to DH or just grab a match and lit a fire under his @$$

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Sending lots of your way, and I hope the renovation will be done sooner than you expect. As others have suggested, I would have DH talk to BIL about the small things he may be able to do to help with the renovation. Even if he knows nothing, there should be some help he can offer.

As for DD, I see you have offers of childcare. Another thought is to ask a teacher at your school to help watch her while you are rehearsing. Are you friendly with anyone who might do this temporarily?

Also, think about any other commitments you have that you can let go of right now, the school play, no, and you may need to leave your mom's house soon, but there may be other things you can let go for awhile.

Again, lots of . Remember this is not forever.

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

just sendiong you hugs, hopeing you are getting through the day, it WILL get better!

Re: I have reached the limit of my sanity and I could really use some support.

Believe me i know how hard and frustrating things can get. We are in the process of staying with my MIL while this friggin mortgage people finish our loan so we can finally move into our new home. Which mind you has been under construction for the past 3 FRIGGIN YEARS. I just try not to think about it too much and focus on the positive which is hard during hard times.

I think what you need to do is take a mental break, maybe take one day off just to relax by yourself. Maybe it would be worthwhile also for you to find out if there is anyway possible to find a contractor to finish the bathroom or just a way to get running water so you can take a shower atleast.