Not sure right place to post but need support

I'm not really sure if this is right place to post this but I will start here and perhaps someone can suggest a better board for it. Bottom line is I'm looking for support, especially from anyone with similar experience.

I posted a few weeks ago that I finally had my twin boys and life with them has been wonderful. 2 weeks after having them I woke up from a nap covered in blood. As soon as I stood up I began to gush blood and soak thru pads as soon as I would change them. I called my ob and they had me come right over. By the time I got to the office I couldn't even stand up straight and the dr actually called 911 and I left in an ambulance. I was admitted to the hospital where another ob from the practice met with me and went over a few different scenarios for the hemmorhaging. He thought it was a blood clot or piece of placenta left over after my c-section. An ultrasound confirmed a clot the size of a newborn baby and the dr planned on doing a d&c the next morning if I did not pass the clot on my own. He had hoped I would because he was not keen on doing d&c on a swollen uterus (from birth/c-sec). I wound up not passing the clot and went for a second ultrasound in the am. It was at this point things got blurry. I was rushed out of ultrasound and into an operating room within minutes. I was put under feeling petrified because I was all alone (dh had to stay behind with twins and ds until help arrived) and I really didn't know how severe the situation was.

Well, I woke up feeling very sore and I've had d&c's in past and never felt that way. My ob and a nurse came over and took my hands and said they had to do an emergency hysterectomy. I was in shock. The ob explained the d&c was a success, he removed the clot and then I started to bleed out on the table and he couldn't stop it. He said after my 2nd blood transfusion he went to find dh (who finally arrived) and told him he had to do a hysterectomy to save my life. I was put in ICU and spent two horrible days there. It killed me to be away from my newborns and my 5 year old. The severity of the situation hit me the next day and I haven't stopped crying since.

I understand it had to be done to save my life but I'm feeling such a profound loss. I went thru a lot to have my boys (4 m/c, IVF, pregnancy complications, etc.) and to have it all end like this feels really $hitty. I'm grateful I have my children but now I'm robbed of what should be an exciting time because I'm trying to recover from a second major surgery within weeks of each other. I can barely muster enough energy to feed my babies. I'm 90 miles from friends and family so dh and I are doing this pretty much on our own.

Does anyone know of someone with a similar situation? I just don't know who to talk to and I know I should so I can begin to process this all.

If you've made it this far in reading I thank you, I know its a lot. The one thing I did learn from this is to never forget to kiss dh good night or hug my children b/c it can all be over in a flash

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

First, Congratulations on the boys .
Second what a horrible thing to have to go through, especially alone. Im sure all of the emotions you are feeling are totally normal- if that were me i would be feeling the same way. I personally dont know anyone that had gone through this, but we are all here for you, and maybe you can talk to a counsler? I think with a little time and rest you will feel better. You are alive and have your beutiful children, once you are feeling better im sure you will be able to enjoy them. Hang in there

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I am so sorry you had to go through all that. I don't know anyone who has been in your position but if you need to talk or vent we are all very good listeners on this board. Feel free to reach out. I you have a speedy recovery.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Congratulations on your boys!

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. I want to offer you tons of and know that we are all here to listen and help in any way that we can.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

congrats on your boys! I'm sorry for what you went through and wish you a speedy recovery.

Maybe your OB can recommend someone for you to talk to?

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Congrats on your boys!!

I'm so sorry you went through this. My MIL had an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of my DH due to severe complications during the birth. To this day, she does feel sad that she only had 1 child, but is extremely greatful she did have DH. Its a tough thing to go through. We're all here for yoU!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

i'm very sorry you went through this!!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I can't imagine how hard it must be. I don't know anyone with a similar experience, maybe your OB can connect you with a support group?
We are all here for you.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

wow... I don't know anyone who has been through something similar, but I can understand why you would feel your sense of loss. I think the best thing to do is to focus on the positive-- your two beautiful new babies, your five year old and your husband. Be thankful for all you have-- as that is what will get you through this. I think it would also be a good idea for you to speak to someone professionally, just to deal with some of your initial feelings of loss.

I am so sorry for your ordeal. Many to you.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I agree with other posters, maybe your OBs office, or the hospital can you in touch with some support groups.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Congratulations on your boys.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I hope you have a speedy recovery.
I'm sorry you had to go through such a traumatic experience.
Perhaps your Dr. can refer you to a support group. (other than the wonder LIF ladies!)
Kiss your boys and your DH. And thank heavens you are with them now!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Congratulations on your boys!!!!

I am so sorry that you had to go through all of that in such a short amount of time. I am sure that it feels so much more amplified because of not being prepared for what happened, but the doctors did what they needed to do to save your life.

I know my cousin had 2 children and and about 3 years later had to have a hysterectomy. She still wasn't prepared for it to be done, but it needed to be done.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

WOW... I am so sorry for everything you went through. You must be goign through a whirlwind of emotinos right now. Being away from your children so early on, emergency surgery and an unexpected hysterectomy. I think everythign you are feeling is normal. In a way you need to go through the grieving process....grieving the loss of those days with your twins, the loss of normalcy and the loss to bear children again (whether or not you wanted more).

I think you need to feel the emotions and not block them out and then refocus on getting well to take care of yourself and your children.

You may want to seek some counseling or find a support group to help you hash through the emotions and be able to move on from this. Your OB practice hopefully can recomend a therapist and/or a support group.

You were very lucky that they were able to stop the bleeding and that you are here and alive today to take care of your children. Try not to look at this experience as an "ending" but a renewal or everythign that is good in life and direct your focus on the second chance at life that you have received!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

First, congrats on your boys!

I am so sorry about all the complications you have had. I wish you a speedy recovery. When you are up to it, consider getting counseling or talking with a similar group of women to share your emotions and all that you are going through. All the best to you!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Congratulations on your sons!

I'm so sorry you went through that.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Posted by Blissful

WOW... I am so sorry for everything you went through. You must be goign through a whirlwind of emotinos right now. Being away from your children so early on, emergency surgery and an unexpected hysterectomy. I think everythign you are feeling is normal. In a way you need to go through the grieving process....grieving the loss of those days with your twins, the loss of normalcy and the loss to bear children again (whether or not you wanted more).

I think you need to feel the emotions and not block them out and then refocus on getting well to take care of yourself and your children.

You may want to seek some counseling or find a support group to help you hash through the emotions and be able to move on from this. Your OB practice hopefully can recomend a therapist and/or a support group.

You were very lucky that they were able to stop the bleeding and that you are here and alive today to take care of your children. Try not to look at this experience as an "ending" but a renewal or everythign that is good in life and direct your focus on the second chance at life that you have received!

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Wow...you have been through a lot. Congrats on the boys. I also have twin boys and I can't imagine how you are handling not only two newborns, but major recovery from your surgery with no family nearby.

My advice is to reach out to either you family/friends or DH"s for some help. I would not have survived the first few months without all the help i received from family. You have to take care of yourself as well as your two new boys. It can be overwhelming on it's own, so please don't feel like you have to do it all on your own.

Can you talk to your OB/GYN about your feelings and maybe he/she can recommend you to someone to talk to?

Good luck......I will keep you in my prayers.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

First off congrats on your twins. I dont know anyone who has been what you have been through. I cant even imagine.
Like Ali said, maybe your OB can steer you in the right direction on who to talk to

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I can't imagine the kind of pain you are in (emotional and physical). I agree with PP who suggested counseling ot at least speaking to your OB about your feelings. Remember, what you've been through is extremely traumatic and you will need time to grieve.

Congrats on your babies- how wonderful to have twins!!!! I pray for your emotional as well as physical recovery....

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Wow. First congrats on the babies.....Second i am so sorry you had to go through this. There has to be some support group out there for you.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Posted by randella

wow... I don't know anyone who has been through something similar, but I can understand why you would feel your sense of loss. I think the best thing to do is to focus on the positive-- your two beautiful new babies, your five year old and your husband. Be thankful for all you have-- as that is what will get you through this. I think it would also be a good idea for you to speak to someone professionally, just to deal with some of your initial feelings of loss.

I am so sorry for your ordeal. Many to you.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

Posted by melijane

Posted by Blissful

WOW... I am so sorry for everything you went through. You must be goign through a whirlwind of emotinos right now. Being away from your children so early on, emergency surgery and an unexpected hysterectomy. I think everythign you are feeling is normal. In a way you need to go through the grieving process....grieving the loss of those days with your twins, the loss of normalcy and the loss to bear children again (whether or not you wanted more).

I think you need to feel the emotions and not block them out and then refocus on getting well to take care of yourself and your children.

You may want to seek some counseling or find a support group to help you hash through the emotions and be able to move on from this. Your OB practice hopefully can recomend a therapist and/or a support group.

You were very lucky that they were able to stop the bleeding and that you are here and alive today to take care of your children. Try not to look at this experience as an "ending" but a renewal or everythign that is good in life and direct your focus on the second chance at life that you have received!

ITA. Wow Ann, I am SO SORRY that happoened to you. I would definitely seek some counseling, You have been through so much and I think you could really benefit. So much of how we feel as a woman is wrapped up in pregnancy and birth. I think there are things there that we don't even realize. Please take care of yourself. mayb you have a friend or relative that can come stay with you for while and be a shoulder to lean on? Good luyck

Message edited 10/14/2008 5:57:54 PM.

Re: Not sure right place to post but need support

I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. What a scary thing to have to go through at what should be a very happy time in your life.

I don't have any advice, but I think you are very brave for sharing your story and wanted to give you lots and lots of .