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gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us
Member since 12/06 3554 total posts
Name:
Andrea
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your thoughts? MIL related
So last Sunday DH and I went to a wedding in the city. That morning DH took Cadi to see his mom and then later we left Cadi with my mom. Well half way through the wedding I get a phone call my mom is clearly upset. My MIL called and said i want to take cadi with me to a party at DH's cousin. My mom doing the right thing said you know i dont feel comfortable just letting Cadi go so let me call her mom. Well my MIL went crazy on my mom I DESERVE TO SEE MY GRANDCHILD, I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.. all this kind of stuff. I was sooo angry... She acted like she doesnt see cadi ( SHE JUST SAW HER THAT MORNING). I told DH that i will not be speaking to her or dealing with this and that he needs to. I really have nothing to say to her. We had to leave the wedding early cause i got so upset with this situation.
*i forgot to add my parents live with me.. but it still didnt give her the right to do that.
HERE IS THE QUESTION:
AM I WRONG TO BE SOO UPSET??
Message edited 5/27/2010 3:42:18 PM.
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Posted 5/27/10 3:37 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
You are in NO WAY wrong. How dare she? Who does that? She just saw her, and if she wanted to take her to the party she should have asked you then or called you at the wedding. How insane!
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:38 PM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I think your mom absolutely did the right thing. I would have your DH talk to her, first telling her she should not be speaking like to to your Mother. Secondly- you need to make it clear that should ANYONE want to remove your child from where you left them they will be calling you first. I don't care if its Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, Mother MIL etc. You get the idea.
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:39 PM |
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CouponKT
Our family is complete
Member since 6/06 16494 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
that is totally wrong! If she wanted to bring her to the party, it should have been setup ahead of time. That is very out of line to get the way of your mom watching her.
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:40 PM |
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munchkinbugs
My little loves!
Member since 1/06 8093 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Your MIL was absolutely WRONG in doing that. You obviously left her with your mother for a reason, whatever it was. That's crazy that she did that!!!!
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:43 PM |
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Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I feel bad that you left the wedding because you were upset...you should not have let this get to you. You should have stayed and enjoyed yourself. It seems your MIL is always doing odd things!
You saw her that morning. If taking her to the party was that important she should have asked than and made arrangements. Your mother did the right thing. You left Cadi in her care and that is where she is to stay unless you say otherwise.
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:44 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
she should have asked and planned it with you ahead of time. Def. wrong to go through your mom.
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:44 PM |
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littlejoy06
Love
Member since 3/07 6944 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
You're not wrong at all. I would have been SO ANGRY at this. Your mother did the right thing. I would expect your MIL to apologize for that. Not right!!!!!
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:49 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
your MIL was totally and completely wrong to put your Mother in that position.
YOU and your DH left your child with a babysitter, WHO the babysitter is, is irrelevant.
If MIL wanted to take your child anywhere, she should be calling YOU - who the hell is she to take 'the' grandchild away from YOUR Mom so she could spend time w/ her instead? How would she like it if your Mom dared to do that to her ????
What is WRONG w/ people ???
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:51 PM |
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Angel321
...
Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Posted by DRMom
I think your mom absolutely did the right thing. I would have your DH talk to her, first telling her she should not be speaking like to to your Mother. Secondly- you need to make it clear that should ANYONE want to remove your child from where you left them they will be calling you first. I don't care if its Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, Mother MIL etc. You get the idea.
i agree 100%!
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:53 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
No you aren't wrong to be upset. A parent should know where their child is & your mom was completely right to check with you.
However, I think not speaking to your MIL isn't helpful. I think picking up the phone or stopping by to see her.
Tell her "No one was saying you cannot take Cadi - what we are saying is that as her parents we want to know where she is & if we expect she's with someone, she should be with that person. We would expect you to call us if someone asked to take her somewhere & we didn't know about it."
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| Posted 5/27/10 3:56 PM |
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IwearCrocs
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/10 4 total posts
Name:
hiding from lurkers!
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I had to log out and log back in under my "avoid lurking IL alias"!   
In no way, no how wrong. I would be the same. However, at this point in our marriage/relationship with ILs... 1. My mother would have given her a what for on her own and never had gotten me involved to ruin my night. 2. By now, MIL should know better. and 3. I would give her such a ration, she'd be lucky if she got to see DC on high holy days for the next year!
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:03 PM |
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Grill
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 994 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Of course you have a right to be upset. I'd be livid...and I'd have pity on your MIL. Yes, she has every right to see her GC, BUT....your mother Doesn't have the right to give your child to ANYONE...no matter how close. Only you can decide where your DC spends the day. Your MIL needs to understand the difference...it wasn't about her rights, it was about your mother's obligation to ask you first. God, people can be so pathologically sensitive...so annoying. Sorry you had to leave the wedding. I would have too. : 0
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:07 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I would have been livid.
Your mom did the right thing. She was in charge of your DC at the time. Trusted that SHE was looking after your child.
Your MIL crossed the line in MANY ways. The way she talked to your mother (that alone would warrant me to have this conversation you are avoiding!), that she did not even think to consult you first about taking your DC somewhere of her liking on a whim, acting like she is a deprived grandmother, ending up RUINING your time out.
Your MIL was acting childish, immature and capricious.
Yes, I would say all of that to her.
It was your time off. She managed to ruin it. How selfish of her!
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:16 PM |
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summerBaby10
let's be nice
Member since 9/07 10208 total posts
Name:
Wifey
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
O.M.G. That was so rude of your MIL.
How dare she! Some MIL think they can do whatever they want with their grandkids without asking the PARENTS first & it pizzes me off.
I hope DH is on your side with this one because you & your mom deserve an apology.
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:23 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I would have been very angry too!
Thank goodness your mother told her no!!
Your DH needs to speak to her, and soon. Don't let this sit.
If he's not the confrontational type, then you should speak to her once you've calmed down. I would set her straight about taking DD without your permission, and tell her she better apologize to your mother. That was totally uncalled for.
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:29 PM |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I'd be FURIOUS!!!!
Who is she to try to bully your mother into letting her get her way when your mom was trying to do the right thing!
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| Posted 5/27/10 4:45 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Your mom definitley did the right thing.
Your MIL did not do the right thing, at all! If you were there that morning, why not simply ask you and DH about the party???????
You are in no way wrong!
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| Posted 5/27/10 6:37 PM |
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KateDevine
*
Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Posted by nrthshgrl
No you aren't wrong to be upset. A parent should know where their child is & your mom was completely right to check with you.
However, I think not speaking to your MIL isn't helpful. I think picking up the phone or stopping by to see her.
Tell her "No one was saying you cannot take Cadi - what we are saying is that as her parents we want to know where she is & if we expect she's with someone, she should be with that person. We would expect you to call us if someone asked to take her somewhere & we didn't know about it."
ITA with this..
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| Posted 5/27/10 6:47 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
You are not wrong to be angry. Your MIL was way out of line.
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| Posted 5/27/10 6:48 PM |
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SweetT
LIF Adult
Member since 4/06 1305 total posts
Name:
Ali
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
You are completely right and I feel bad for your mother--she is owed an apology.
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| Posted 5/27/10 6:53 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by nrthshgrl
No you aren't wrong to be upset. A parent should know where their child is & your mom was completely right to check with you.
However, I think not speaking to your MIL isn't helpful. I think picking up the phone or stopping by to see her.
Tell her "No one was saying you cannot take Cadi - what we are saying is that as her parents we want to know where she is & if we expect she's with someone, she should be with that person. We would expect you to call us if someone asked to take her somewhere & we didn't know about it."
ITA with this..
ITA!
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| Posted 5/27/10 7:37 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
...
Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Seriously???? W T H is wrong with her???????
WRONG.... just wrong.
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| Posted 5/27/10 8:32 PM |
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MDF
.
Member since 5/05 2313 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
I would be livid if anyone were to take dc from wherever I left them without my permission ahead of time. I would not be able to let that one go without understanding why she was wrong. I think she owes you and your mother an apology.
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| Posted 5/27/10 8:37 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: your thoughts? MIL related
Posted by DRMom
I think your mom absolutely did the right thing. I would have your DH talk to her, first telling her she should not be speaking like to to your Mother. Secondly- you need to make it clear that should ANYONE want to remove your child from where you left them they will be calling you first. I don't care if its Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, Mother MIL etc. You get the idea.
Totally agree
I'd be beyond ticked off at this!
Your poor mom, how dare she speak to her like that?!
Seriously I'd probably have to be restrained if my MIL said this sorta crud!
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| Posted 5/27/10 8:37 PM |
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