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WishingTTC2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 821 total posts
Name:
j
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Would you be upset with this?
My mom bought my niece a DSI for christmas it was $150.00.
So I told her she can pick my up my DD a barbie kit for $95.00 and then a g/c to american girl for the rest.
My mom says all bc I spent $150 on one grandchild doesnt mean I am spending it on every grandchild (she has 5).
I think that is very unfair.
Whats your thoughts?
NOt to mention she spends the same amount on every kid every year. Why this year change?
Message edited 11/2/2010 2:01:41 PM.
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Posted 11/2/10 1:52 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LML
Twins!
Member since 10/09 1320 total posts
Name:
Laura
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I agree with your mom. It's more about the thought than about how much is spent.
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| Posted 11/2/10 1:53 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Did she ask what to get your DD? If so, then your answer was fine and she is being unfair.
If she didn't ask what to get your DD, she is still being unfair about not spending equally, but you should not have offered a suggestion implying how much to spend. And it is her own business how much she spends.
(Please don't take that nastily, it is not my intent).
Message edited 11/2/2010 1:55:33 PM.
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| Posted 11/2/10 1:54 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I wouldn't be upset at all. She got your DD an awesome gift already. It's about the thought that counts, not the dollar amount. I would never think to give a gift card or $ for the difference between the cost of gifts that I'm giving to people.
Message edited 11/2/2010 1:56:23 PM.
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| Posted 11/2/10 1:55 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Now that I have my own child, I'm not sure exactly how I would feel, but generally I'm of the mindset that your mom's money is hers to do with as she pleases. I don't think I would tell my mom to get my son a gift and a GC for $ so that the cost matches a gift she bought for my niece or nephew.
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| Posted 11/2/10 1:55 PM |
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WishingTTC2
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/08 821 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by neener1211
Did she ask what to get your DD? If so, then your answer was fine and she is being unfair.
If she didn't ask what to get your DD, she is still being unfair about not spending equally, but you should not have offered a suggestion implying how much to spend. And it is her own business how much she spends.
(Please don't take that nastily, it is not my intent).
Yes she asked me what she should get for her. I dont expect it for my little ones but my DC knows how much a DSI is since she bought one with her own money I dont want her to feel upset. Thats why I offered 2 things.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:00 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:01 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
ITA with this, I think the Barbie kit is more than generous
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:02 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by WishingTTC2
Posted by neener1211
Yes she asked me what she should get for her. I dont expect it for my little ones but my DC knows how much a DSI is since she bought one with her own money I dont want her to feel upset. Thats why I offered 2 things.
Your DD won't be paying attention to price tags, I just saw in your last post....so even though she knows how much a DSI costs, the morning of, I'm sure she'll be happy with what is under the tree.
Message edited 11/2/2010 2:04:22 PM.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:02 PM |
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cgdg61606
Little Brother Christopher
Member since 2/07 6815 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I personally wouldn't have said to get a gc to make up the difference. I would have just named the gift you had in mind and said it was $95. However, if I were a grandmother, I would spend equally on all of my grandchildren. Same as a mother, I would spend equally on all of my children.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:04 PM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I don't expect my parents (or even us) to spend the same amount on each child each year, I agree that is it the thought not the dollar amount that counts.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:06 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I don't think they need to spend the same on all kids.
In the ball park makes sense-i.e. I wouldn't buy one kid a box of crayons and another a DS. But the DS and that Barbie thing seem like they are both nice and in the same ball park so I don't see the big deal and would never assume someone needed to "make up the difference".
As a mom, I spend about the same on both of my kids but if I go over on one I don't feel the need to make it up-I hope my kids don't check my receipts
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:20 PM |
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A3CM
Avatar Title
Member since 9/08 3762 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
i would not have been upset.
i would have given her a list of things to get for her and say whatever you decide let me know so i can pick up the rest or so someone else can get it for her.
her money so i feel she could spend it how she feels.
is there an age difference between the cousins?
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:24 PM |
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mikeswife06
Drama Momma
Member since 9/06 9947 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
No
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:25 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
While I agree it was presumptios, and not the best or most polite approach - I DON'T buy into that whole "the thought that counts" thing -
Grandma should NOT be spending $150 on Grandchild #1, and $25 on Grandchild #2
While I dont' think she needs to spend to the penny the same amount of money, I'd be upset if my Mom spend $200 on my sister's kid, and spent $50 on mine - They may not realize when they're little, but they will when they get older -
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:25 PM |
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heathergirl
Cocktail Time!
Member since 10/08 4978 total posts
Name:
American mouth
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by MarisaK
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
While I agree it was presumptios, and not the best or most polite approach - I DON'T buy into that whole "the thought that counts" thing -
Grandma should NOT be spending $150 on Grandchild #1, and $25 on Grandchild #2
While I dont' think she needs to spend to the penny the same amount of money, I'd be upset if my Mom spend $200 on my sister's kid, and spent $50 on mine - They may not realize when they're little, but they will when they get older -
I get that...BUT...why is everyone so preoccupied with the amount of $$ being spent? I'd rather have something great and meaingful that cost $50 than a piece of crap that cost $100  The only people caring about the cost is the parents, not the kids.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:30 PM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I was raised where my grandparents spent the same amount on each grandchild for xmas and for birthdays, and my parents did the same with my brother and I. I would be upset but not because of the money because its just giving one more than the other. However, I wouldn't say something especially using the dollar amount. I would just suggest some things that my dd might like and if she gets them she gets them if not than oh well.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:31 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by cgdg61606
I personally wouldn't have said to get a gc to make up the difference. I would have just named the gift you had in mind and said it was $95. However, if I were a grandmother, I would spend equally on all of my grandchildren. Same as a mother, I would spend equally on all of my children.
ITA
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:36 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
I think it may all be in the phrasing. As a grandparent/parent, I think the money spent on each grandchild/child should be in the same ballpark. To me, 95 and 150 are in the same ballpark. If someone asked me what they should get my DC, I give a list of ideas saying these are some things we have been thinking about getting her. Let me know if you want to get her one and we wont get that. and then i give a list of gifts ranging from really cheap (like $20 or so) to around 150-200. I don't specify the price. It's up to them at that point.
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:51 PM |
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shiv
Twinsanity!!
Member since 5/07 4747 total posts
Name:
Shiv
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by heathergirl
Since you stated you "told" her what to get for your DD and basically told her spend $95 on the Barbie gift and then a GC for the rest ($55), it sounds extremely presumptuous to me and I don't think your mother is being unfair.
It is her $$ and she does not have to spend the same on each grandchild. It's the thought that counts. I personally do not like being told what to get or how much to spend by anyone.
I agree- I don't always spend exactly the same on each niece/nephew. I try to get them what they want and if it's over or under the other so be it. They should just be graeful for the gift!
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| Posted 11/2/10 2:57 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Im in the minority.
I feel spend the same amt or as close as possible.
IDK, fair is fair.
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:01 PM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
i am being honest and I would be upset too.
with my family its always been the same as in dollar amount year after year. so its something i am used to .. like the OP
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:05 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by MetsGirl07
i am being honest and I would be upset too.
with my family its always been the same as in dollar amount year after year. so its something i am used to .. like the OP
I agree..even steven
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:08 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Posted by Bridex100
I wouldn't be upset at all. She got your DD an awesome gift already. It's about the thought that counts, not the dollar amount. I would never think to give a gift card or $ for the difference between the cost of gifts that I'm giving to people.
ITA
I don't think its unfair at all. Gifts are gifts not obligations or a measure of value or love. The gift its.. what it is, what it means is much more important.
I once lost a cheapo magnet of Marvin the Martian. If I could get it back it would be worth more to me than $200, make sense?
I know it may not be intention but I think it can be seen as $$ = Love. Being fair would be that every kid gets a well thought thru gift from the heart and not price matching.
Sorry JMHO
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:17 PM |
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littlebeanz
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 1667 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you be upset with this?
Although I would hope the grandparents make it equal I dont think Ide tell them to get a gift card to make up the difference...i would just let her get what she wants...
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| Posted 11/2/10 3:26 PM |
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