So Annoyed! Mother Vent

I have the most amazing family. I do! Love them to death. My parents watch my LO every Friday. They live around the corner from us and spoil me, DH and LO. I can't say enough. I also have great IL's so we are lucky.

My mother is my mother... like any mother you tell her something and she still does something different. My MIL listens b/c, of course, she doesn't want to get on my bad side. Although I'm not like that she wants to be the best MIL (of course I don't agree with everything)

Anyway... at almost 10 weeks we told JUST the fam. My parents, sister, BIL, bro, IL's, etc. That's it. We said don't tell anyone.
My MIL listened. She wants to tell, but I said I have my ultrascreen Jan 6th. When I know everything is ok you can announce.
Haven't even told my BFF's, etc.
My mother, on the other hand, opened her big mouth. Her office, friends, etc know. I told her not to. Why? Some of my parent's friends I'm friends with their kids. I want to tell pple in person, or by phone call not through the grapevine.
DH and I are superstitious. What if something happens too. I don't want pple knowing and then GD forbid something happens I only will tell the fam I told
I gave a lecture to my mom. Not yelled, but I'm so upset, hurt and disappointed. She and her friends are yentas. I don't want friends to find out that way
Vent Over! Thanks for listening

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

i totally understand. We told our families very early... like as soon as we found out.
And asked them to keep their mouths shut till we were ready to tell people.
WELLLL, infront of me my dad slipped and siad something to someone.. and I was there for the convo so it really was inncoent cuz he is excited.
BUT... I was LIVID when at 6 1/2 weeks preggo I went to a wedding with my inlaws and laf the people there were telling me " i heard the great news congrats"
I wanted to get up and leave that very minute.. but I kept my cool and told them that Iknow they are excited but from now on I wont tell them anything and make them wait.
When we find out the sex of the babies by DH said he is going to make his parent suffer by not telling them till weeks after.

Most people (especially parents) say it because they are overly excited. Don't be too hard on ur mom, she is just happy and wants to spread the news.

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

I knew my mother is like this too, so we told my MIL WEEKS before my mom. We told her a few days before the ultrascreen since we knew it would be hard for her to even wait a couple days. I felt bad not telling my mom first, but she has spread other news when specifically asking her not to, so we felt like we had no choice.

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

that stinks, my mom told my aunts before we were ready to tell and I was upset too, but telling her friends is uncool especially since their kids are your friends...

Hope it all works out...I guess moms will be moms right?

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

OMG I went through the same exact thing............except I told my mom like 2 days after getting a BFP, before even going to the doctor, and she told EVERYONE. She was out of control-like a 4 year old at Christmas-literally she told me she could "tell whoever she wants, its her grandchild"...

DH and I were furious!! I actually didn't talk to her for over a week because she just was not getting the point.

Well, that worked thankfully, but next time we get pregnant she's gonna be the LAST to know, and she knows it.

Good luck!

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

I'm sorry!!! It is so annoying when people don't listen. Its not like you don't want to tell the world, you are just waiting to get past the tricky part.


DH had told a close friend, and that friend's father asked another branch of the credit union I work at if they'd heard the good news - he didn't say anything specific, but they put 2 and 2 together started asking their one manager because I'm really close with her. Luckily she did some awesome damage control, and when I did come out they were like oh, "Jill" had us totally convinced you weren't!

Re: So Annoyed! Mother Vent

I really feel your pain. I haven't spoken to my MIL in over a week since I found out she told my DH's side of the family three weeks before we were planning to make our big announcement in person on Christmas.

We had several complications in the beginning and we were told that one of our babies only had a 50/50 survival chance. We wanted to wait to tell everyone until we were a little more positive about the pregnancy. At my 11 week US the doctor was more hopeful and we decided to tell his parents but still wait on the extended friends and family until my next ultrasound the tuesday before christmas. We went to the in laws at 11 weeks and told them in person. We specifically and repeatedly told them they could not tell anyone until we made our announcement on christmas. I did not want to get into it about my personal medical information but they absolutely knew they were not allowed to tell.

I know they were excited but they definitely knew they had to wait. My SIL spoke to my MIL on dec. 4th and asked her how she was handling keeping the secret. She said she was doing ok and that she was excited. She said she was going to wait even longer to tell her sister, DH's aunt, until her birthday in January.

Well 2 days later John's cousin emails my SIL asking for our address because he had heard the great news. My SIL emailed my MIL and asked her why she changed her mind about waiting and all she said was "I changed my mind"

I got a card the following week (the week before Christmas) from DH's cousin which said "Everyone told him the good news and congratulations"

I was FURIOUS. I didn't know about any of this at that point. We do not have a good relationship to being with and she completely disregarded our wishes and stole my DH's one and only opportunity to tell his family in person. We had been TTC for almost 2 years. We are having twins and will most likely never have another pregnancy again.

So DH calls her and tells her how she robbed him of being able to tell his family in person. She tells him that she heard from someone it was ok to tell after 12 weeks. So not the point! We told them that they had to wait until after christmas and she opened her mouth almost 3 weeks earlier! He made her cry and that got him upset. I was still mad because I knew she did it intentionally and not out of excitement.

Then she leaves a message on my machine saying she is sorry and that she thought it was ok since I was over 12 weeks. Which again is NOT THE POINT!

So Christmas eve comes and DH has to work so I decide not to go to my SIL to exchange presents and I stay home alone. I knew if I went there I was going to unleash all kinds of anger on her.

DH calls on Christmas and they start talking about it. This time she says she was so excited that she forgot that she couldn't tell anyone and thought that she only had to keep the secret from my BIL and SIL. What? Seriously? to which I point out again how she told my SIL that she "changed her mind". Meanwhile then she goes on to say she is angry at him for making her upset and making her feel bad. And that she is angry at me for not talking to her and sending DH to deal with her.

The whole thing makes me so angry. We were supposed to go there after new years but I am not going. I will wait until she stops with the BS and says the truth.
I am waiting to hear her say: I shouldn't have said anything. I am sorry. I regret doing it and please forgive me.

Although I seriously doubt that will happen.