| Posted By |
Message |
| Pages: 1 2 [3] |
saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
We did make a list of who gave us what for our weddings, showers, and birthdays.
But, by no means do we use that to "keep track" and only give back what they gave us.
We give what we can afford to.
|
Posted 4/19/11 3:03 PM  |
| |
|
MamaLeen
:)
Member since 10/09 4594 total posts
Name:
E
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
No, I never even thought about it. I always give what I can regardless of what they have given me/us. The whole tit for tat thing seems petty to me.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 3:18 PM |
| |
|
lucyloo
nope
Member since 1/06 9758 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
I keep a log for when I write thank yous. I don't base my gifts on what people gave me though, I give what I can.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 3:21 PM |
| |
|
DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by Ophelia
we had a family of 3 come to our wedding and hand us a check for $10.
and you know what, that was an extremely generous gift from them b/c they literally have nothing. NOTHING.
there were others who gave more than they did, but it was much less of a stretch for them to do so. who is the more generous?
a log like this simply wouldn't work for me and those that I love/love me.
See to me this is different.
For example I have a memeber of my family who was a single mom when we got married. She could not afford to give us a lot. Her wedding is coming up and I plan to give her a generous gift.
On the other hand if friends of ours give us $200, then I would likely give them around the same. I would not give $300 (which is our typical gift) bc I think it is "upping the ante" so speak and IMO would be showy.
I guess what I am saying is it depends on the situation.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 3:34 PM |
| |
|
~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Because I keep lists for everything, I have spreadsheets of what people gave for our wedding, showers, DDs baptism & birthdays. But that info is used only for thank you purposes (& my need to keep lists lol).
I don't give based on what I receive. I give based on what I want to give.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 3:44 PM |
| |
|
MikesBride
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 1245 total posts
Name:
Ilana
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Yes, for the most part.
If its close friends or family we will give what we feel we want instead of what the list says.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 4:23 PM |
| |
|
QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
wow - a thread of mine gets 3 pages for a change 
I agree with all of the posts about financial situations and the general costs of things going up.
We use it as a guide, but then take into account things that other mentioned such as financial situation and party cost, and overall relationship with friend.
Wedding gifts are always a wild card. For example, for a wedding, a $200 gift from a friend might have been considered generous in 2002. But now, it's 2011, and if that friend got married, I'd take that into account and naturally his/her financial circumstances at the time.
I stay closer to the log of what was given in the past when it comes to christenings and kid birthdays, taking financial circumstances at the time into account.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 4:25 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by DiamondGirl
Wanted to add, we don't keep a log..much to unorganized for that but generally I remember if someone gives a standard gut or a generous one and I try to follow suit. Maybe not to specific dollar amount.
To me by giving more I might be perceived as showy. If I give less I feel cheap. JMO
Ditto for us
|
| Posted 4/19/11 4:28 PM |
| |
|
JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by Jenn627
Nope.
I give what I can - if it's more, it's more, if it's less, it's less.
No tit for tat.
Same here.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 4:32 PM |
| |
|
eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
I voted other.
I don't keep a log but I tend to remember details like this, so I can't say I don't consider it when I'm giving a gift in return. But it doesn't have too much bearing on what I do.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 4:43 PM |
| |
|
Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
We only did it for our wedding.
Thats it.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 5:40 PM |
| |
|
Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by Otherme
The only reason i have a record of what we received for our wedding is because we had a big spreadsheet to keep track of everything - who was invited, who responded, who gave gifts for shower or wedding (and what it was), if the thank yous were sent out yet etc.
So because i have that, we do have a 'log' of what we received for our wedding, and have referred to it a few times when deciding what to give to others.
I have this too. My mom referred to it more than me and mainly b/c she felt she needed to bump up her gifts and confirmed with the lists 
|
| Posted 4/19/11 6:17 PM |
| |
|
Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
DH and I actually logged our wedding money on hotel stationery while we were opening the envelopes!
Nowadays we have that list but we don't follow it religioulsy. The only time we like to refer to it is if we are attending the wedding of someone whose sibling's wedding we went to within a year or two. We know that even when people say they don't compare, many cousins, etc. will ask what so-and-so gave.
Also, my parents used to ask when they would go to weddings and their friends had attended mine.
We have never used it as a means of punishing and giving less, but more of making sure you take a look at a gift and remember the year it was given and give accordingly.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 6:45 PM |
| |
|
Irishgrl13
Fingers Crossed...
Member since 6/09 1301 total posts
Name:
Colleen
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by Tilde
I have a very organized Excel spreadsheet from my engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, birth and christening that I go by.
I always want to give what I feel is appropriate. WHAT I FEEL IS APPROPRIATE is going by what others have given me in the past.
I want to be generous without making anyone feel uncomfortable.
Same here...
|
| Posted 4/19/11 6:48 PM |
| |
|
smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
No. Just a mental note.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 7:28 PM |
| |
|
MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
I don't keep a list. However, if someone was particularly generous or extremely stingy I do remember and it plays a role in how much I choose to give.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 10:52 PM |
| |
|
Zebes-JD
LIF Zygote
Member since 4/11 13 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by Jenn627
Nope.
I give what I can - if it's more, it's more, if it's less, it's less.
No tit for tat.
This, but fiance and his family do the tit for tat thing. Drives me nuts. Doesn't seem like a gift to me if you're giving it out of obligation.
|
| Posted 4/19/11 11:36 PM |
| |
|
Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by BellaRock
Posted by Jenn627
Nope.
I give what I can - if it's more, it's more, if it's less, it's less.
No tit for tat.
This.
Yep
|
| Posted 4/19/11 11:52 PM |
| |
|
debidonnamom
Kindness matters
Member since 12/10 1903 total posts
Name:
Mary (MOB)
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
I will answer my own question and say that we do keep a log and that 99% of the time, we go by the log.
Since I journal, I'm sure I've written about what I give/have received, but I don't give based on what I have received. Mary
|
| Posted 4/20/11 12:36 AM |
| |
|
JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
Other. I don't have a log, but I do remember what we gave people for their weddings, generally. A lot of the weddings we went to were lwoer gifts than we'd give now since we were in college or FH was unemployed or whatever.
But I just had a moment of this because FH's cousin got married 5 years ago and we were only a little out of college and we had to travel and stay over 2 nights for their wedding and we gave a very generous amount. They are older, wealthy and established, and they just got us a registry gift that was $100 less than what we gave them. We definitely noticed.
|
| Posted 4/20/11 12:15 PM |
| |
|
mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
it's more of a mental note. I dont write it down.
For instance, I cant seem to forget a few people that came to our wedding and never gave a gift.
|
| Posted 4/20/11 12:28 PM |
| |
|
MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
absolutely not
|
| Posted 4/20/11 5:07 PM |
| |
|
CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Spinoff Joyous Events Close Together. WITH POLL
No. We got married 4 years ago and a lot of our friends were just starting out in the real world or still in college. Even at this point, most of our friends are not engaged.
We have a set amount we give for weddings based on relationship (acquaintance, friend, member of the wedding party, extended family, immediate family). Some people may have given us more or less, but the amount we give is what is comfortable for us.
|
| Posted 4/20/11 8:00 PM |
| |
|
| Pages: 1 2 [3] |
