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journeyk
LIF Infant
Member since 1/10 90 total posts
Name:
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How often do you & DH go out?
My DH & I have not been out for a dinner/movie or anything like that since February 25th...I'm looking into finding a sitter so my mom doesn't always have to be the one (she watching my DD everyday). I mentioned this to my mom and that we really want some alone time because of how long it's been and she responded with:
"Well, that's what happens when you have a baby!"
Now I feel guilty for this, but I really don't think it's that unreasonable. What's your situation like?
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Posted 6/6/11 2:02 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name: Me
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by journeyk
My DH & I have not been out for a dinner/movie or anything like that since February 25th...I'm looking into finding a sitter so my mom doesn't always have to be the one (she watching my DD everyday). I mentioned this to my mom and that we really want some alone time because of how long it's been and she responded with:
"Well, that's what happens when you have a baby!"
Now I feel guilty for this, but I really don't think it's that unreasonable. What's your situation like?
My parents NEVER went out when I was growing up (no family nearby), so she feels that way too, so I never ask her. We've gone to one wedding in the past year, and out to lunch twice on the weekend and one daytime movie for our anniversary (all times MIL watched him). So, no night dates, but I'll take a weekend lunch! I don't really mind--we rent movies and watch after DS goes to bed.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:04 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name: Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
DS is 21 mos. and we've gone out to dinner only 2 times since he's been born. The first time we were only gone 1.5 hours and came home before DS was even in bed.
My mother watches DS full time for us, and she is our babysitter on the weekends as well. That is why we haven't gone out all that much. She already does enough for us. The weekends are her time to unwind.
Message edited 6/6/2011 2:13:58 PM.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:13 PM |
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tracyruiz
LIF Zygote
Member since 5/11 3 total posts
Name: Tracy
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Not as often as we'd like. If we really really wanted to go catch a movie or dinner alone, it would have to be scheduled every other weekend if my sisters are free to watch DS.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:18 PM |
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memi7206
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2355 total posts
Name: Due Dec 29th!!!!!
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
If I had to guess - just the two of us or out with friends that dont include everyones children - 4 times a year maybe.
My mom watches my DS for me, so I feel bad asking her. My sister would watch him at the drop of a hat, as would I for her, but for some reason we never ask each other to babysit......I have no idea why. I do have an Aunt and cousins local who will watch him for me whenever we want too, but I just feel bad asking them I guess.
Message edited 6/6/2011 2:21:17 PM.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:19 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We are really lucky my mom and dad ask if our kids can sleep over one night on the weekend when they are in NY for 6 months. My MIL will usually watch them also for us but we don't ask her as often and my parents ask to watch them.
I would invest in a sitter, becuase even if we do nothing but grab something to eat at the dinner if it so different then dining with the kids. Even if we drive somewhere in silence it is nicer since we are never in silence with our kids who NEVER STOP TALKING!!!!!!
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Posted 6/6/11 2:20 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name: LB
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Once a month at least, sometimes more. It's hard because he works weekends. Luckily my sisters are available to babysit a lot, and even if my mom isn't feeling up to it DH's parents usually are.
If it's one thing I cannot stand it's comments like that. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't still go out and have fun and be YOU for a little while. That's why god invented babysitters.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:21 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
In the winter we go out once every two weeks. In the summer we are not able to go out at all - maybe for lunch once every two months, but this is due to DH's job and not the baby!
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Posted 6/6/11 2:22 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name: The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Somewhere between twice a year and once a month. So far since January we've been out together once, but we have plans for next week. I'm sure before the year is out we will go out again.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:32 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name: Ginger
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
That sounds JUST like my mother-lol.
I think every couple needs to have date nights.
You should not feel guilty. It is good for your marriage.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:35 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name: :)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
That is our priority, doing things with DD< not doing things alone. We had many years alone before DD and we will have many years in the future when she no longer needs a babysitter.
Message edited 8/12/2013 5:04:18 PM.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:40 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name: remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
a few times. I am sure it averages to be more than once a month, but sometimes it's very frequent and other times not so much.
we are very very blessed with baby sitting so it's not an issue.
we have a few date nights coming up in the summer months too. it's more fun to go out when you're not freezing!
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Posted 6/6/11 2:41 PM |
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We have been out a few times without dd a few times already but not just Dh and I. It was more for group outings. We plan to do date nights once at least once a month. I think it's very important and healthy to have alone time with your partner and we will try to do this every month.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:47 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Sans ds, probably two, three times a month. We have a bunch of family close, who beg to take ds. We also will start using our daycare teachers daughter. She loves ds, and he adores her.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:48 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name: Veronica
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Every week
Every weekend to be specific.
As I posted in a previous thread. AJ is always with us for dinner, vacations, and trips. But not every day. She goes to daycare and she goes to see my aunt.
So every weekend during the school year (or just about) we have time alone. Its actually a battle to get my kid back! I feel guilty when I don't let her go over and my aunt pours on the guilt that AJ will 'forget' her in two weeks. ugh.
During the Summer she lives with my aunt and we get her Friday night - Sunday night. So no, outtings without AJ but that's ok with us.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:48 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name: Ginger
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Never. DD is 2.5.
I don't have a babysitter, only person would be my mom and I just don't feel date nights are something that I am entitled to, that I would make my mom watch my DD for that. If it was a wedding or something big, sure I would ask. I do ask my mom to watch my DD for important things like if I have a dr appt or buying my home related issues. But to just go out alone with DH, I have never done that.
Personally I always expected once I had a child, that was the last of Dh and I being alone. And honestly leaving my DD feels odd to me to go out alone with DH. DH works all week so when he is home we enjoy going out with DD together, and taking her places. That is our priority, doing things with DD< not doing things alone. We had many years alone before DD.
I understand wanting to do things with your child but why do you feel you shouldn't have alone time with your dh anymore? I think your child needs to see that you are making their father a priority also in your life. I don't think that a child should be left constantly just so the parents can go out but I do think that a marriage suffers when parents don't take the time to do things alone.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:49 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name: Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We don't. DH's days off are during the week and it is hard to find babysitters on lets say a Tues night while people are taking their kids to baseball, soccer, etc.... We're hoping that the summer months might make it easier and get a dinner and a movie night
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Posted 6/6/11 2:51 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name: Ginger
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08
I think it's very important and healthy to have alone time with your partner
ITA with you. I have been married 18 years and I can't see how our relationship could have been as strong as it has through the stress and responsibility of children without spending time alone.
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Posted 6/6/11 2:54 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name: Erica
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
I guess it would average about once a month. Now that I'm 9 months prego I really have no desire to. LOL! DS goes to sleep at 7PM and we're lucky to have my parents so close. My IL's live on LI (an hour away) and they love coming to visit for the weekend and let DH and I go out.
Both DH and I grew up where are parents enjoyed weekend nights out. They both were unbelievable parents and worked hard so they deserved it. I LOVE my time with DS, but I need some "me" time or time with just me and DH. Heck, I even do girl's nights out and DH goes out locally with friends as well. It makes us happy and really DS doesn't even notice. He loves his time with his grandparents and on some nights he doesn't even know b/c we go out after DS goes to sleep Prego with #2 and due soon so probably not going to be a date night in the near future. LOL
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Posted 6/6/11 2:57 PM |
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sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We try reallty hard to get out at least 1 time a month, but sometimes its everyother month.
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Posted 6/6/11 3:01 PM |
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bonch20
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1290 total posts
Name: Bonnie
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by headoverheels
Once a month at least, sometimes more. It's hard because he works weekends. Luckily my sisters are available to babysit a lot, and even if my mom isn't feeling up to it DH's parents usually are.
If it's one thing I cannot stand it's comments like that. Just because you have kids doesn't mean you can't still go out and have fun and be YOU for a little while. That's why god invented babysitters.
i totally agree....there's nothing wrong with having adult time. in fact, it makes me appreciate DD even more!
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Posted 6/6/11 3:02 PM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name: Dawn
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We got out to dinner every couple of months. I don't tap too many shoulders for favors but once in a while my SIL will just say, "you guys go out and we'll take care of the kids." It's hard because we used to go out all the time with my brother & SIL before children and we'd love to be able to go out together again so it's difficult for us to leave them watching the kids instead of them coming with us. We need to look into a sitter too!
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Posted 6/6/11 3:05 PM |
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blue99
LIF Infant
Member since 5/11 150 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
i just got a babysitter-off sittercity actually. She is great and we are going to use her every other sat night and go out twice a month. DD is usually asleep already so no reason to ask my mom or mil watch a sleeping baby lol and no reason to just stay home. In 2 weeks we are also going to a concert tog. I think we were beginning to lose the romance ( DD is 4 months and we've been married 2 years) and we really need it; its great for the relationship and no reason not to.
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Posted 6/6/11 3:08 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name: Rebecca
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Honestly, I don't remember the last time we went out without either of our kids with us.
Oh wait... we did have my MIL watch them one night and we stayed home together just the two of us and a bottle of wine...and we talked about the kids all night.
We were supposed to go to a party but it was a really $$$$ location and not the kind of crowd we usually enjoy so we just took advantage of having a sitter.
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Posted 6/6/11 3:10 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Personally I always expected once I had a child, that was the last of Dh and I being alone. And honestly leaving my DD feels odd to me to go out alone with DH. DH works all week so when he is home we enjoy going out with DD together, and taking her places. That is our priority, doing things with DD< not doing things alone. We had many years alone before DD and we will have many years in the future when she no longer needs a babysitter.
This is how I feel too. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go out and I really do miss the time DH and I used to spend together but when we had DS we knew that our lives would be changing and that it would be all about our DS. The way I look at it, he won't be little forever so we'll have plenty of time 20 yrs from now to go out alone (and at that point we'll probably be missing him and wishing he wanted to spend time with us).
Growing up my parents rarely went out without me so that's probably where my thinking/feelings come from. My mom has always told me that she'd babysit for me to do certain things but that she'd dedicated her life to me growing up and made sacrifices and not to think that she was going to babysit so me and DH could go out and party.
That being said, I worked FT from when DS was 8 weeks old - 51 weeks old and my parents cared for him 12 hours per day every day. I took no vacation time. So, they are definitely there when I need them.
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Posted 6/6/11 3:14 PM |
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