Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Posted by pnbplus1

Posted by Goobster



Personally I always expected once I had a child, that was the last of Dh and I being alone. And honestly leaving my DD feels odd to me to go out alone with DH. DH works all week so when he is home we enjoy going out with DD together, and taking her places. That is our priority, doing things with DD< not doing things alone. We had many years alone before DD and we will have many years in the future when she no longer needs a babysitter.

This is how I feel too. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to go out and I really do miss the time DH and I used to spend together but when we had DS we knew that our lives would be changing and that it would be all about our DS. The way I look at it, he won't be little forever so we'll have plenty of time 20 yrs from now to go out alone (and at that point we'll probably be missing him and wishing he wanted to spend time with us).

Growing up my parents rarely went out without me so that's probably where my thinking/feelings come from. My mom has always told me that she'd babysit for me to do certain things but that she'd dedicated her life to me growing up and made sacrifices and not to think that she was going to babysit so me and DH could go out and party.

That being said, I worked FT from when DS was 8 weeks old - 51 weeks old and my parents cared for him 12 hours per day every day. I took no vacation time. So, they are definitely there when I need them.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

A lot! It is the only thing that keeps us going living with my parents Luckily once DS goes to bed at night my parents let us do whatever we want. We try to walk the dog together every night. We sometimes go out on Wednesdays when my mom is home early. I'd say it happens 2 times a month. Of course DS is sleeping by this time so all they do is watch a baby monitor. We usually get a quick bite to eat and are home within an hour and a half. My mom keeps telling us to go out for longer periods of time and while DS is awake. Honestly this "date night" is important while we are living in such small quarters. I know I am very lucky and this will definitely change once we buy a house.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

I think every relationship has it's version of "healty" it's own expectations, needs, wants and demands.

and if you AND your spouse are perfectly happy and content, rock on, no matter how you rolll

period. end of story.

it's just em effing ridiculous for someone else to say what makes any other couples relationship a healthy one, especially when we are talking time with the children.



I almost never use that guy, but I just can't with this bs anymore.

Message edited 6/6/2011 3:25:58 PM.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Not very often, probably every other month or so just the 2 of us, but we don't feel we need to that often.

We love going out with DD, she's so good and so much fun. We have a lot of alone time every night when she goes to bed.

I know other couples that need to get away without their kids much more often and that's okay too. Everyone has different wants/need when it comes to alone time and keeping their relationship alive.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Posted by Ophelia

I think every relationship has it's version of "healty" it's own expectations, needs, wants and demands.

and if you AND your spouse are perfectly happy and content, rock on, no matter how you role.

period. end of story.

it's just em effing ridiculous for someone else to say what makes any other couples relationship a healthy one, especially when we are talking time with the children.



I almost never use that guy, but I just can't with this bs anymore.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Lucky if we get to go 4 times a year

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Posted by hazeleyes33



Not to stir the pot-- --lol as I figure this post is to me....I know that each relationship is different but I feel strongly about having a relationship with your spouse throughout the raising of children.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

We are very new parents, but hope to take the lead from our parents, both of whom took time at least once a month to go out either with each other or together with friends. We are fortunate that our families are close so we have people we are very comfortable leaving DS for a little while. Both of our parents are married over 30 years and we grew up with a lot of love in our lives so I think that FOR US, it works.

That being said, I think everyone should do what they are comfortable with.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

You shouldnt feel bad for want to go out with your husband.


I picked twice a year although I really would like to make it once a month.
I think it would be good for our relationship as a couple to go out for an adult dinner one night.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by hazeleyes33



Not to stir the pot-- --lol as I figure this post is to me....I know that each relationship is different but I feel strongly about having a relationship with your spouse throughout the raising of children.

it's not entirely to you.

the issue is you seem to believe that certain things within a relationship are mutually exclusive and they are not. maybe in YOUR unique and individual relationship, but not everyone is like you or has your needs or your husbands needs.

it seems that you don't believe one can have a satisfying relationship while spending all of their time with their children, but I would direct you to millenia of families before this generation.

the divorice rate, even in the age of "Date Night" is sky high.

I don't think there is any one recipe for a successful happy relationship or family life. and I won't make someone feel iffy on their choices b/c of how we do in my home.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Posted by Ophelia

I think every relationship has it's version of "healty" it's own expectations, needs, wants and demands.

and if you AND your spouse are perfectly happy and content, rock on, no matter how you rolll

period. end of story.

it's just em effing ridiculous for someone else to say what makes any other couples relationship a healthy one, especially when we are talking time with the children.



I almost never use that guy, but I just can't with this bs anymore.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

my ILs come out every sunday and watch DD so DH and I can go out together.
we do errands and go out for a meal.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

We go out at least once a week... I think it is soo important to have that time with my husband.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

We probably go out on the weekend about once a month on average - sometimes its more and sometimes less. Sometimes it is just the 2 of us and other times it is with a group. We also work a few blocks away from each other so we meet up for lunch when we can - usually 2 or 3 times a month.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Not nearly enough lately.
And to be honest- our relationship and sanity is suffering.
We love DD more than life itself, but I don't find it healthy to be with her every minute.
We are still people.
2 people who were here on this earth a lot longer than DD was here- 2 people with purpose and independance and a relationship that is not built soley upon our child.
She enhances it, yes, but we are still our own people in our own personal relationship
I miss our alone time, our adult time.
I need it.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

I don't think tha tmy husband and I have been out together, without any kids for....two years maybe! lol. We have no family around, so its been difficult.

We do enjoy spending evenings at home watching movies and gabbing, so its not that big a deal!

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Just the two of us for a date night? I'd say once every few months We just went to dinner and a movie this past weekend - I don't recall the last time we did this, probably earlier in the year.

ETS: That doesn't mean we don't do a "date night" at home more often. Probably twice a monthly we order in and call it a date night - that's good enough for us

Message edited 6/6/2011 5:12:19 PM.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

At this point we probably average around once a month.

Our first 3 years of parenting it was once or twice a year.

It helps to get out alone together. We do try to wait until the kids go to bed at night though, most of the time anyway.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

We usually go out for our Anniversary (October) and maybe for a Bday here and there.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

I would have to say never. We have no family that live close by. I did have a babysitter and we used her once to go out but she is not with us any longer. If my parents lived closer then I could definitely see us going out for dinner once a month, it would be nice to go out for dinner with DH and not be interrupted 100 times by two little pip squeaks

Once a month would be enough for me and would be great but alas its not to be so we go out together as a family and make it work.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

on average, I'd say 2-4 times/month.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

I checked once a month sometimes it's more it depends. We have 2 great babysitters and family for back up. I def enjoy our nights. A good sitter is key

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

Our DD is almost 3 months and I haven't spent a minute alone with my DH since she was born. It makes me sad. I mean, we have the times when she is sleeping, but as far as time when it is strictly us.....not since she was born. I miss our time to just relax, eat dinner, and just BE with each other. Not that I don't love every single second with DD, I do....I just miss the grown up time.

Re: How often do you & DH go out?

We have a bit of a different story. We have no family by us and are moving even further away. But lately we have been going out more b/c we have been on LI so much every weekend. We are taking advantage of babysitting before we move Our parents don't see her as much and are always willing to watch when we go out. Usually have plans with bil and friends. We almost always put her to sleep first so it's not difficult but we have left her awake. This Past weekend we were down for 2 parties. At the last minute I asked my mom to watch her overnight. 1 I knew she would be home 2 dd sttn 3 I put Bertolucci bed so really all hey and to do was listen for her and wake up with her which my mom is always up way before anyone. I do not feel guilty leaving her at all. It's good for her to be with other people and good for us. I actually didn't want to go out b/c I was tired but then thought if I don't now whne will I in the future b/c will do not know a single person in Boston

I think it's so healthy to take time away and be you and you and dh. I always miss her when I am out but I need adult interaction. We dont do it enough and I will be finding a sitter in Boston!