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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
About once a month dh and I go out to dinner. We've never left dd more than 2.5 hrs. My parents love watching her but they work so hard during the week I feel bad asking on the weekends. Now that dd is crawling and walking all over its a lot of work to watch her.
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Posted 6/6/11 7:06 PM  |
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MommaBear
Very much in love!
Member since 6/10 2864 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
I'm very lucky...my mom has a sleepover with dd once a month!
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| Posted 6/6/11 7:06 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Maybe 2 times a year, MAYBE. But we have lots of opportunities to go out, we just don't. We both work FT so being home is where we like to be when we're off. When the kids are in bed we have plenty of time to chat, eat, etc.
We go out to dinner often as a family, and neither of us are big movie people....so there's not much that we really love doing that our kids can't come with us, you know?
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| Posted 6/6/11 7:16 PM |
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LulaBell
:)
Member since 1/06 3508 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
At least once a month, if not more. We are very lucky with our babysitting situation, ILs, parents, and sis/BIL within 15 minutes. No one ever says no. We are very lucky, we know.
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| Posted 6/6/11 7:26 PM |
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LuLu2260
LIF Adult
Member since 7/09 1647 total posts
Name:
Mich
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We try to have a date night once a month.
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| Posted 6/6/11 7:29 PM |
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
DS stays with my parents for one weekend a month, so DH and I go out by ourselves one night and go out with some other friends the other night of the weekend.  It's a nice way to reconnect, especially with his insane work/travel schedule. James loves it as well, as do my parents.
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| Posted 6/6/11 7:58 PM |
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maymama
my little loves
Member since 8/08 18453 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
id say once a month. DH also goes out with his friend 1x per week and I go out with my friends 2x per month
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| Posted 6/6/11 8:01 PM |
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Mrs-D-Girl
Love my fur baby
Member since 8/07 5183 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
DH and I go out at least once a month, sometimes even more.
We love going out, esp to a nice dinner and we always said that we wont stop once we have a family.
We have a great sitter that we love.
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| Posted 6/6/11 8:24 PM |
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Mere09
So Dam* Lucky
Member since 10/08 6368 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Once every few months.... 
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| Posted 6/6/11 9:26 PM |
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BellaRock
I am all the Me I will ever Be
Member since 5/06 9746 total posts
Name:
She who shall remain nameless
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Never.
We have no one that would babysit for us.
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| Posted 6/6/11 9:35 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
I would like to say once a month but it's been AWHILE since just the two of us went out, we're finally going out this Friday for our anniversary.
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| Posted 6/6/11 9:39 PM |
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Dani77
It's FUN to be ONE
Member since 7/09 4363 total posts
Name:
Danicia
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
We only have limited amount of people that can watch DS for us...so we can't go out too often.... We def. always go out alone on our anniversary, and try to again during the summer.
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| Posted 6/6/11 9:44 PM |
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JennB
My princess <3
Member since 5/09 2473 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Since DD has been born I think we have been out by oursleves 5-6 times (that includes going to weddings).
We had been trying to go out like 1x/month but DHs work schedule changed and he works at nights all weekend which really stinks
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| Posted 6/6/11 10:57 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
She sees we love each other, love being with each other and HER as well, all doing things together. When DH is home and I go to feed DD< she calls daddy in to come eat. She expects when we are all home, we are all doing things together. Nothing can be more beneficial, IMO, than a child being with both their parents doing loads of things together(we got out to dinner with her, take her places, nothing we want to do can't involve her re going out).
Message edited 8/12/2013 5:04:57 PM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 12:32 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
ITA. My mom is there for us and she loves DD so much BUT she would find it odd if we had a desire to go out on the town too much after having DD. And I would find it odd too if DH and I still had desires to go out often without DD since we have been there done that.
Message edited 8/12/2013 5:05:31 PM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 12:50 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by hazeleyes33
I think there is a big difference between going out and "partying" and having some alone time with your dh.
I truly do not understand the "we'll have plenty of time 20 years from now" as you just never know what life will bring. My parents had
10 years after they basically had no kids living with them before my dad passed away. That is it, 10 years together. They never went out either when we were kids and that makes me sad.
I didn't marry my husband JUST to have children. They are just an added bonus and while we do a lot with them (more than doing things alone) I feel we need to have that time alone to do adult things and to continue to bond our relationship.
Guess it's just difference of opinion. I find it extravagent to ask my mom to watch my DD so DH and I can go eat a steak and drink some wine. JMO. Just not a necessity and I don't ask for my mom to watch my DD unless I really need it. Not for any other reason than just not where my mindset is.
Also, I didn't marry my DH just to have a child. No way. I was married a long long time before DD came along. But now that we have a child, we enjoy spending any time with DD together, vs without her. It's just what we enjoy most and value most. Not just going to eat some dinner and have a drink without our child. Just not important to us in the big scheme of things. It has no bearing on our feelings towards each other. It actually IMO shows our marriage is rock solid that our DD has just strengthened that, and spending time with her just enhances that, not hinders it in anyway. Having her with us is not the foundation of our marriage, she purely enhances what we already had and if it ain't broke don't fix it. JMO for me.
Message edited 6/7/2011 1:00:32 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 12:58 AM |
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wcs3504
my boys
Member since 2/06 2506 total posts
Name:
Wanda (formerly cw0904 on LIW)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Not as much as I feel we should. Our last date night, if you even want to call it that, was a high school spring concert last month on a Thursday night. We were holding hands like we were at the movies.  It's not because we have a.dc but because of Dh's hectic work schedule. DS is in bed by 730 some nights so whoever watches him would take care of a sleeping baby. Most nights I'm alone so not many date nights are available. Dh and I have to discuss date nights in advance before he does his schedule for the upcoming week. And being preggo I barely want to go anywhere during the day let alone at night. Right now I'd rather be at home relaxing. We have already discussed once DS #2 arrives and we are in a routine with bedtime, Dh will take 1/2 weekend nights off a month so we can have alone time. I definitely need it. And the times we have we always say how much fun we had and we should do it more often. 
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| Posted 6/7/11 4:32 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Posted by hazeleyes33
Posted by Goobster
Never. DD is 2.5.
I don't have a babysitter, only person would be my mom and I just don't feel date nights are something that I am entitled to, that I would make my mom watch my DD for that. If it was a wedding or something big, sure I would ask. I do ask my mom to watch my DD for important things like if I have a dr appt or buying my home related issues. But to just go out alone with DH, I have never done that.
Personally I always expected once I had a child, that was the last of Dh and I being alone. And honestly leaving my DD feels odd to me to go out alone with DH. DH works all week so when he is home we enjoy going out with DD together, and taking her places. That is our priority, doing things with DD< not doing things alone. We had many years alone before DD.
I understand wanting to do things with your child but why do you feel you shouldn't have alone time with your dh anymore?
I think your child needs to see that you are making their father a priority also in your life.
I don't think that a child should be left constantly just so the parents can go out but I do think that a marriage suffers when parents don't take the time to do things alone.
DH and I feel once we had a child, spending time with them together is the MOST important thing. My DD doesn't need to see me making her father a priority by us leaving her with a sitter, as you put it. She sees we love each other, love being with each other and HER as well, all doing things together. When DH is home and I go to feed DD< she calls daddy in to come eat. She expects when we are all home, we are all doing things together. Nothing can be more beneficial, IMO, than a child being with both their parents doing loads of things together(we got out to dinner with her, take her places, nothing we want to do can't involve her re going out). Sure she sometimes makes it a bit difficult as she is 2.5 but she is often great and we feel it's just all we could ask for, all of us doing these things together.
That is not to say we would not enjoy ALONE time. We absolutely would but our marriage is at a very solid point that we both enjoy our time with DD and we don't require date nights in our marriage. We have time alone at night when she goes to bed and that is enough for us. I could not see dropping her off once a week or even once a month so we can go eat a steak and have some wine. Just not necessary now. Been there done that. Down the line, she will get older and need us less and less. And we will once again have plenty of free time to be together alone and I bet you we might long for the days when our baby was little and needed us (or a sitter) so much. Nothing is more valuable than us doing things with our DD when we have time together when DH isnt working. No offense to anyone else, this is what we feel and works for us.
My parents NEVER went out without us unless we weren't invited. They never went on a date or out to eat. They have the strongest marriage I know and are very happy after 45 years of marriage! AND my grandmother lived with us so she could have stayed with us at any time!
As they got older, they started going to AC and on day trips while I was in school and I don't think they feel like they missed out on anything!
I definitely don't agree with their view - BUT it worked for their marriage!
 
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| Posted 6/7/11 6:31 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
we go out all the time. We have a ton of babysitters between my mom, my in-laws and our nanny. we go out too much. I would prefer it if we only went out every other week or so. Most of the time it's with other couples. Rarely alone.
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| Posted 6/7/11 6:52 AM |
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jennandrob
mom of two!
Member since 5/05 4368 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
probably every other month.
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| Posted 6/7/11 7:13 AM |
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sleepie76
enjoying every minute
Member since 12/07 3881 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by Goobster
Guess it's just difference of opinion. I find it extravagent to ask my mom to watch my DD so DH and I can go eat a steak and drink some wine. JMO. Just not a necessity and I don't ask for my mom to watch my DD unless I really need it. Not for any other reason than just not where my mindset is.
Also, I didn't marry my DH just to have a child. No way. I was married a long long time before DD came along. But now that we have a child, we enjoy spending any time with DD together, vs without her. It's just what we enjoy most and value most. Not just going to eat some dinner and have a drink without our child. Just not important to us in the big scheme of things. It has no bearing on our feelings towards each other. It actually IMO shows our marriage is rock solid that our DD has just strengthened that, and spending time with her just enhances that, not hinders it in anyway. Having her with us is not the foundation of our marriage, she purely enhances what we already had and if it ain't broke don't fix it. JMO for me.
a steak and some wine sounds like heaven to me
we never get out alone, probably twice in the last year. We take our daughter out to restaurants ALL the time.
BUT I think it would be great to go out for an adult dinner and reconnect/recharge the romance between us more often.
I think you have to keep that relationship alive, the spark going.
I hear too many stories of couples that had kids, then a few years later get divorced because they grew apart.
My marriage is strong, 8 years strong and still going. But there was a relationship there before sippy cups & diapers. I dont think there is anything wrong with taking an hour out of every week to enjoy that relationship again.
It's fine if you dont need it/want it. But it's fine if people do. To say it is extravagent is a bit much to me.
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| Posted 6/7/11 7:55 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by sleepie76
It's fine if you dont need it/want it. But it's fine if people do. To say it is extravagent is a bit much to me.
You may feel extravagent is a bit much to say. I spoke for myself and for me, based on my life, I find it extravagent FOR me to ask my mom to watch my DD so I can go out to eat. I find that extremely unnecessary honestly, at this point in my life. DH and I had loads and loads of time prior to DD to go to restaurants, go away, etc. Been there done that. For me, when I ask for help, it's for a need, vs a want. When DH and I go out, there is nothing we want to do so badly that DD can't come. Sure I would love to eat alone once in a while, but if my biggest problem is going out to eat alone with my DH, then I got it easy.
As NBC said above, there isn't much we want to do that our DD can't come with us. Nothing better than the 3 of us together.
Message edited 6/7/2011 9:35:51 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 9:03 AM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
didn't we just have this same argument the other day?
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| Posted 6/7/11 9:07 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
ITA with this for me
I'm not going to judge what works for others so I would hope others would not judge me. For ME, I need that adult time.
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| Posted 6/7/11 9:14 AM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: How often do you & DH go out?
Posted by sleepie76
I think you have to keep that relationship alive, the spark going.
I hear too many stories of couples that had kids, then a few years later get divorced because they grew apart.
I think the larger issue when couples wind up in divorce is too many people rush into having a child before they have really spent enough time with their partner to develop bonds that will stand the test of time, the stress of a raising and having a child who will naturally have needs that will HAVE to come first, come above your partner.
You can't compare someone who needs a date night to keep the marriage alive, with people who don't feel they need a date night b/c their marriage/relationship has been through thick and thin already that they are so bonded that they don't feel the need for a "date night" to keep the love alive. Nothing can solidify a great marriage more than having a beautiful and wonderful child you enjoy spending time with. No steak and wine dinner can be better than that, speaking for myself.
Message edited 6/7/2011 9:32:44 AM.
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| Posted 6/7/11 9:17 AM |
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