SAHM and yelling

I'm home a lllllll day with a 3 year old and an almost 9 month old.....my DH is gone from11:30am until midnight..so it can be very crazy at times...sometimes I find myself loosing my mind so bad and yelling my son is very very wild...my DH blames me 100%for him being like that..but let me tell you by dinner time burnt out...if you are home all day and night please tell me I'm not the only one who feels so burnt out..my husband thinks it is so beyond horrible that I yell at him..he makes me feel so bad.I guess I just needed to vent a little.

Re: SAHM and yelling

You need to get out of the house with him-make him tired and nap him..or let him run wild in the yard...lol

Re: SAHM and yelling

DS is 20 months and is very "active." But he has been on a sleep schedule since he was an infant. He is in bed by 7pm SHARP. he also naps around 1 1/2 hours during the day.

All this being said, I am exhausted and I dont have the 9 month old but come 7pm the rest of the night is mine to relax and enjoy.

Re: SAHM and yelling

Just wanted to share that I have the same experience. DD is 3 years and she never stops and DS is 10 months. I am alone with them for 12 hours a day and I lose it sometimes. I immediately regret it, but it happens. Its really not a matter of "tiring" her out, because we are never in the house and always out doing stuff. She is just very testing of limits and me and she always and I mean always wants to be doing something, so I get zero down time during the day. Plus, both kids are up the latest at 6 am and DD wont go down until 9 pm. That is a very long day with her. They nap, but so do I because DS still gets up at night, so nap time isnt really break time. Im not a perfect mom and yelling is def. my weakness.

Re: SAHM and yelling

I'm with you girls! I have a 3yo & 9.5mo and husband works 12hr shifts+ commute.....so it's a loooooooong day! My only saving is that my youngest is asleep at 7/7:30pm! So if I can survive it's cake....but there are some days that are a disaster and exhausting! I am trying to work on not blowing up at everything and realizing things aren't such a big deal!

Re: SAHM and yelling

I am burnt out by the time DH gets home which is usually around 7pm. My boys are up by 5am & my 21.5 month old is EXTREMELY active. He goes non-stop all day long & is into everything. I do find myself yelling at him constantly & DH tells me that is all I do, but I am burnt out

Re: SAHM and yelling

you are not alone...

i yell and scream, lose it at times...i'm human...

most of the times i apologize, sometimes just have to walk away. not proud of it, but it happens...

Re: SAHM and yelling

I have a 3.5 yr old and a 14 month old. I yell a lot more than I thought I would. All of it is directed at my 3.5 year old and she's still up my a$$ at the end of the day! You think she's hate me by bed time.

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I'm there w/ you & I'm not a SAHM; but w/ school vacations I sort of am/summer. I find myself yelling so much & it's sad b/c they have started doing the same My 3.5 year old loves to test limits & my 2 year old is so active; he just never stops. I'll tell him no or redirect him & then he'll look at me & do what I told him not to. I get so mad at myself by the end of the day DH is on the road a lot & when he's home he's asleep so it's just me.

Re: SAHM and yelling

I think its normal! I lose it at times with DS who is 3.5yo (I also have an 8 week old). I know its not fair to him but sometimes it does happen.

There is something in this months parents magazine that basically says..dont worry, its actually good for our kids to know we are human, not perfect and at times will act in a wrong manner. And that after is all settled, we should go to our toddler and apologize for yelling and explain why we got so upset

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I have 6m old twins. I don't yell yet bc they can't possibly understand what I am saying but I can only imagine there is tons of yelling in my future. By the time DH is done with work, I am a total mess, shell of a person, a huge heap of sobs and tears. I can totally see where you are coming from and IMO its normal. You can't hold it all in forever!

Re: SAHM and yelling

DD is 2.5 and I'm days away from having #2 and I find myself losing my patience with her more often as well as her testing my patience more and more! I'm a yeller in general so I really watch myself around her but I find myself doing it...Normally if I can catch myself I take a deep breath and say what I need to say calmly but believe me I do my fair share of yelling and feel awful about it afterwards

Re: SAHM and yelling

I can relate to how you are feeling

I am also a SAHM- of a 3 year old and a 13 month old. The 3 year old is a handful. Great kid, but tests limits all day long and is a bundle of energy. DH is working about 11-12 hours a day, so I am alone with them a lot.

I definitely have had my moments of yelling, but I have gotten much better. I try to focus on staying calm, and walk into another room and take deep breaths when I feel like I am going to lose it. It helps a lot. Also, I try and get out of the house, every day. It makes the day go faster and breaks the monotony.

I also joined a gym 2 months ago, and try to go there at least 3 times during the week. It gives me alone time, and lets me burn off some stress. The boys have been doing well in their Kidzone, and I often take them to the pool afterwards. Good luck and know you are not alone. Your 3 year old is not acting this way because of you, and if you yell. He is acting like this because he is 3. So please do NOT feel guilty.

Re: SAHM and yelling

Posted by Domino

DS is 20 months and is very "active." But he has been on a sleep schedule since he was an infant. He is in bed by 7pm SHARP. he also naps around 1 1/2 hours during the day.

All this being said, I am exhausted and I dont have the 9 month old but come 7pm the rest of the night is mine to relax and enjoy.

Re: SAHM and yelling

I'm home on maternity leave with a 3.5 year old and a 2 1/2 month old. I live next door to my parents and I was yelling so loud the other day @ my 3.5 year old that my dad came over to make sure everything was okay. You are only human. It's easy for your husband to say its your fault. You are doing the best job you can. Don't beat yourself up

Re: SAHM and yelling

Re: SAHM and yelling

yell?! noooo, I don't do that! It's so easy to be aa SAHM (well a PTWM , but it's VERY part time, lol) it's not like I have anything to do all day but be a mom, I sit around , bored out of my mind, so my DD driving me crazy is the highlight of my days, so I try to enjoy every sec of it ...
So no I don't yell, never !

Re: SAHM and yelling

As you can see you are not alone. Having said that, and I mean this in the nicest way...Your DH sounds like an asss. Perhaps he would think differently if he were home every day for 12hrs with the kids. I don't have #2 yet, but my 18month old is just starting to REALLY grate my nerves somedays. I yell and she bursts into tears. I feel horrible, but it's life and we're all trying to do our best

Re: SAHM and yelling

you are not the only one and it is not your fault!
no offense, but how awful of DH to say that!

DS is a very feisty child with a very strong personality. that is in no way my fault (well except 50% genetically ) he is a handful and by the time DH comes home (7pm) i literally say hello to him, leave him with DS and lock myself in the bedroom for a good hour to read and relax.

there have been times when i have yelled at him (futile with a 95. month old) because he frustrated me so much. i felt really bad afterwards and hugged and kissed him to make up for it. but honestly, my yelling doesn't even phase him. most of the time he just laughs at me.

when i am getting to the point of exhaustion and yelling, i put him in his crib with his lovey and walk away. usually he's ok for about 20 minutes, which is just enough for me to take a breather and get enough energy to return to dealing with him. i know with two it's a lot harder, but any chance of getting even a five minute break?

i also agree with the poster who said tire them out! make them run around, clean up their toys, help with chores, anything to get them tired and ready to nap so you can relax!

GL!

Re: SAHM and yelling

It is SOOO hard with two, especially when you're by yourself with them most of the time. I almost lost my mind this winter being stuck in with the two of them all the time, and it's not unusual for me to be screaming my head off by 7:30 a.m. You are NOT alone.

But I agree with the other posters. Get them OUT of the house. Let your 3 year old run around like a lunatic all day until he's ready to collapse. Then he'll take a decent nap, and probably go to bed at a decent hour.

Hang in there. And tell your DH to give it a try on your end for a week, and see how he does!