WWYD? IF anything about preschool

So my dd is in Pre k as a UPK student and I can not help but to wonder if that is affecting her treatment for two main reasons that I can see..

1. Its a co-op sp every month parents get to participate in class and the child gets to bring in the snack. On the day your child brings in the snack they get to be a snack captain aka big boss. As in they get to tell the children when they can get to go wash up for snack. One day I came to this and saw that my daughter was chosen last after every single girl and boy around her was picked ...not expected since the captain was a girl. I felt terrible but that is besides the point. MY dd was never a snack captain until December and I never knew of the practice until then. ( We missed one parent participation and since she is UPK they do not put her on the calendar much. ) Now she is not on again all of January, so I feel terrible cause she feels she is not getting her turns which she is not.

2. They have a boy and a girl teddy bear in class who goes home with the children. The bears get to decide which boy or girl they WANT to go home with. My dd has never been chosen and by now I think everyone must have had a turn. She is so insulted and hurt that the bears do not like her.

Is this really appropriate...all this being chosen...I feel like she is in a popularity contest everyday during snack and now with the bears!

Am I overreacting because I am seriously considering e-mailing this teacher and asking her WTH?

Thanks for all your honest and more subjective opinions than mine.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

I have to say this sounds awful and cruel to me. I dont blame you one bit for questioning this. I don't fully understand what you were explaining re the UPK, etc, but regardless, I WOULD ABSOLUTELY have a talk with the teacher to find out what is going on.

To me this is unfortunately how popularity contests start. The other kids follow each other and may also start to pick your DD last, etc. NOT GOOD IMO. Why give the children THAT much power?

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

Can you explain more about the Pre-K and UPK connection? Maybe I am missing something.

But regardless, I would definitely talk to the teacher! It is possible that depending on how often snacks/bears happen, they have not cycled through the whole class yet - but I would make it known that your child is feeling excluded.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

I would ask the teacher about the bear thing-that your dd is so excited and you are wondering when her turn will be.

In terms of the UPK thing- so she is put on the schedule less because you would have to provide the snack and they don't want to burden you? If it doesn't matter to you about purchasing the snack, you should mention it to the teacher that you;d like her to be included in the regular rotation.

As a teacher myself, I always appreciate parent questions and concerns because a lot of the time the information they get is coming from their child (which can get easily skewed, the younger they are). Hopefully there is some misunderstanding.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

Also about being chosen last...mention it to the teacher that your child is feeling left out. Maybe she is not ALWAYS being picked last, like she was the day you were there, but it could feel that way to her! Her teacher may be able to put it into perspective for you, or to ensure that there is a fair system happening.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

THanks for your responses.

Almost the entire class is enrolled with all fees paid by the parent while my tuition is all paid by my district. Also, we are under no oblgation to participate...but we do when we can. We both work full-time. I would not mind if child who gets the bear was a name pulled out of the hat and all the children knew it was being done fairly, but this is done as..the bear wants to visit____. So my dd feels that the bear does not like her because he/she never chooses her. Their are twenty one children with two bears...to me, that sounds like they would each get a turn withing 11weeks or so...It seems those bears have been floating around for about 15 weeks I know that they may have skipped a week or two, but my dd thinks one child just took the bear home for the second time.

Also I work FT so I am one of the few parents who is rarely there and I wonder if that affects my dd.

Thanks again. I think I will call, but I do not want to be the nutso parent going off on the teacher. I also do not want to overareact. But I don't think it seems right. NOt to mention that my dd is new to the school (while the other kids started in 2s or 3s class) and I would think they would want to help her feel like a part of the class.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

I would definitely touch base with the teacher and see what is up. Where the $$ comes from, should be irrelevant.

DD's pre-k is about 90% girls, so if the bears are matched up by gender, there definitely could be a delay. It takes my daughter weeks to be line-leader, whereas the boys seems to have chances a lot more often.

My only real concern, is that co-ops and FT working parents don't always mix, but again, they shouldn't be taking that out on your child! If they have an issue with your level of participation, they should be talking to you, the adult.

Re: WWYD? IF anything about preschool

Honestly, IMO, you're in Mama Bear Mode and things are not as they appear.

First off is your child shy? Is this her first year in this school? Could these children have gone to school together sinces 2s & 3s? It's unusual for kids to single others out at this age. If your child is shy she may be less apt to play with the others and may be flying under the radar.

As far as being UPK the teacher probably doesnt even know unless you've brought it up. The school is getting paid their tuition regardless. Who cares who's paying and the teacher definitely doesnt. Does she go the same amount of days that the other students do?

Would I call and ask? If I felt this way I would. Im assuming you dont know any of the other parents b/c otherwise you would have asked them what the deal was.

These are little kids and Im sure your daughter isnt being singled out negatively.