WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

This is in regards to my 1 yr old birthday party post.
DS will be 1 July 8th.
We are planning to have his party that weekend in our backyard
We have a nice size backyard. For DS1's 2nd bday we did have a pool party. I hired a lifeguard and we had about 15 kids and maybe 15 adults.

Since it's DS2's 1st birthday we're on having a big party inviting family along with friends like we did for DS1. Thinking about 80ish pple. There's also a lot more kids that range from a few months to 12 yr olds.
We have a safety fence around the whole pool.
DH and I discussed and figured we're not having a pool party. Too many people and the kids are such a big range. Lots of older boys that I know would get wild.
Figured we'd tell some family if they'd like to pack a suit for the kids incase they want to swim later after the majority of the pple leave (usually my friends with LO's to go in for naps)
My MIL and mom are surprised we're not having a pool party since we have a nice pool and the party is July.
I think it's a big liability and even with a lifeguard I'd get nervous with that many adults and kids.
For DS1's 1st party we weren't in our house we're in now so had it at my parent's the end of May who don't have a pool and it was fine.
Thoughts?

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think this is a hard one. On the one hand, it's your son's 1st birthday, so I don't think he will be super interested in swimming, and I would imagine it would be the same for the kids his age. But I can see how other people would love to be swimming, especially since it's a day party in the middle of the summer.

When you had DS1's 2nd bday party as a pool party did you have a lot of family and kids that were different ages?

In the end you need to do what you're comfortable with - it's your house, your son's party and you can do whatever you want!

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I totally understand you would be worried about the olders kids being ruff and someone getting hurt. On the other hand, I can't see having a backyard party with tons of kids and not allowing them in the pool. The kids are going to come over and start whining to parents about how hot they are and how much they want to go into the pool. It would give them something to do and I bet even some of the parents might want to go in. Or you could always hire a life guard again.
Of course, it's your party and can do whatever you want. I'm sure the parents will understand.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

its going to be right in the middle of summer and probably really hot out....the kids are going to see the pool and want to go in.

most of the people probably know you have a pool and will pack a suit in case anyways. especially since dc 1's party they used the pool.

maybe you can have an inflatable pool for the younger kids if you are worried about the older ones being to wild with the little ones around?

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think it will be hard to explain to the hot kids why they can't jump in the pool. Maybe you can have two life guards and divide the pool down the middle with a vollyball net/ rope, whatever.. one side for the big kids and one side for the smaller kids.

Another option would be setting up a baby pool for the really small kids.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think as long as you have some sort of activity for them they won't miss it.

For DD#2 we had the chastening in the back yard and had kids. I told people with kids and by word of mouth that nobody was to use the pool. The only people that seemed to care were the adults because they wanted to jump in.

Now we did have a big bouncy house and I think that is why the kids didn't care.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I get the liability thing, but I don't think I could have a party at my house in the middle of the summer and not let people use the pool. I think too many kids will be disappointed, it's just too tempting!

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think a nice alternative would be for you to rent one of those water slides (the inflatable kind) and/or a dunk tank...

ITA, that since it will be hot, the kids are going to look to go in, but if you have something like this set up, you will eliminate the issue and the kids will be entertained all at once

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

For me personally, it would be very frustrating and I would probably leave early. My DS (4) LOVES to swim. There is no way I could stay at your house for any period of time if he could not go in the pool. I looked at the photos of your pool. I think if it were an above ground pool, I could distract him, but an in ground pool? It would be hours of him whining and asking to go in the pool. I know we would end of leaving because of it.

I also think that the parents of the little ones are going to be in the pool with them, so they would be able to watch out for the older kids if they get too rough.

You know your group, though. If you think this is something that would work, you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I posted about this exact issue last year when planning DD's first bday. We had it at my BIL's house and it was in early June. He does NOT have a fence around his pool. He told me he may put off opening the pool until after the party, but alas decided to open it at the last minute since it would "look nicer". I FREAKED OUT. It was not a pool party. All the tables were situated around the open pool...I was SO nervous. Ends up, no one even wanted to go swimming b/c we had enough other activities going on for all the kiddies (away from the pool) and it was a short party. However, at the end of the party my friend's 10 year old son did fall into the pool while running around. I was so apologetic but he didn't care...he loved it (his mom actually wondered how much of an accident it was ).

All in all it worked out. Since your pool is fenced in, and you don't want a pool party, I wouldn't make it one, but I'd make sure to have enough other actvities for the kiddies so they don't want to go in. Is your pool situated away from where the actual party will be?

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Posted by ko123

I posted about this exact issue last year when planning DD's first bday. We had it at my BIL's house and it was in early June. He does NOT have a fence around his pool. He told me he may put off opening the pool until after the party, but alas decided to open it at the last minute since it would "look nicer". I FREAKED OUT. It was not a pool party. All the tables were situated around the open pool...I was SO nervous. Ends up, no one even wanted to go swimming b/c we had enough other activities going on for all the kiddies (away from the pool) and it was a short party. However, at the end of the party my friend's 10 year old son did fall into the pool while running around. I was so apologetic but he didn't care...he loved it (his mom actually wondered how much of an accident it was ).

All in all it worked out. Since your pool is fenced in, and you don't want a pool party, I wouldn't make it one, but I'd make sure to have enough other actvities for the kiddies so they don't want to go in. Is your pool situated away from where the actual party will be?

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

i would say if you don't want people to use the pool then put a glass cover over it or tarp it. i know that if a friend had a pool and a party in the middle of the summer, i think most would expect it to be open, even for the little ones.

my DS was about 8 months old when we went to our first party with a pool and there were little pools set up, but he wanted the big pool.

i would hire a life guard to be on the safe side.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think the difference is the kind of party. A bris or an engagement party people are not going to expect to use the pool, but with a birthday party you might run into trouble.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

for some reason when i try to edit it takes me to LIW

so i meant to write, if it were me... if you don't plan on having the pool open, i would opt for another location to host the party

can you imagine the meltdowns kids will have when they see the pool but can't go in it? esp if its hot.

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I didn't read the other responses but I had this issue last year for my DS's 1st birthday - the party was June 25th.

I had it in my MIL's yard, where there is a pool but I was NOT under any circumstances dealing with all those toddlers and a pool. I told my MIL to tell the family that they could go in the pool AFTER the other guests left.

I made sure I had activities for the kids to keep them occupied (pre-food), then there was food to keep them occupied, then I had a puppet show and I don't even remember what else but it worked and it was great! Not one kid asked to go in the pool and the cousins all respected my wishes (and practically shoved the last guest out of the house before putting on their bathing suits and diving in )

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

Re: WWYD... pool in the back, but not a pool party

I think some of the PP had some great ideas for alternatives for you. I have to agree that it would be difficult to avoid the perception of teasing children with a pool on a hot day.

We are having a similar issue with DS' bday party. I am planning on inserting a statement with the invitation that clearly states something to the effect of: "Parents are solely responsible for supervising and ensuring the safety of their children in/by the pool. Any child not being supervised poolside by their parent will be removed from the pool area". It won't release you from liability but it puts the onus on parents to supervise their kids instead of throwing back mojitos by the bar assuming someone else is watching their kid.