Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

DD is an only child.

We plan to provide her with a car to use while she is in school and until she is established in a career. We plan to have her pay a nominal rent if she wants to live at home after college (she has to be employed). That money will be kept to give her as a surprise towards a down payment on home someday. (As DH's parents did.)

We plan to pay for her college. We hope for scholarships and grants and if we have to WE will take a loan for her under-grad degree. Graduate work she will have to cover unless we are in the financial position to provide it easily.

We plan to contribute $10K to her wedding expenses and buy her dress as our parents did. More, if we are in a position to do so but not to foot the whole bill.

We hope to be able to give her money toward a down payment and or to furnish rooms when she has her own home but our retirement is important too so it will depend on our position.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My son is only 3 years old. I expect our financial situation to change many times before then.

If I have the money saved, then all the better for him and for us. There will never be a free ride for him, whether we could afford it or not.

I would love to be able to contribute to my children's milestones as much as possible, and be a support system for when they need it.

However, more importantly, I never want to become a burden to my children and look to them to provide for ME in my old age.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents did not totally pay for those large expenses, but they did help out.

I paid for half of my first car.

I paid for my own books in college.

They gave us a certain amount towards our wedding and helped out with smaller things here and there.

Only when we came up short on our house DP did they offer to help out.

We were on our own for smaller things like paying our own cell phone bill, etc. My mom took me to get a checking account as soon as I was of age.

I plan to help out my kids as much as I can, DD already has an account that gift money goes into now and I plan on adding to once she is out of daycare and we have more expendable cash I will decide later on, what I will give her the money towards.

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I was very lucky and my parents were able to pay for my undergrad and got me a car. But I paid for my wedding and I have student loans for law school.

We have started a savings account for DS's education and everythign else we will see where we are financially when the time comes.

Large (future) expenses for your kids

Finances are hard to predict so far in advance. We have started saving for DS's future, and will continue to do so. However, I want him to learn the value of a dollar. My parents have helped me along the way, and have been so grateful for that. But I started to tutor in the 8th grade, and bought my first pair of sneakers. It meant so much to me that I did that on my own. It was my first solo purchase, and I still remember it to this day.

Dh and I paid for most of our wedding (our parents split the catering hall) and we bought our first home before we got married. Yes we struggled and still struggle to this day, but we really learned so much from this experience.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Message edited 8/2/2012 2:34:21 PM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I hope to help them as much as I can, within reason.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I plan on doing as much as I can to help them - just as my parents did and my ILs did as well.

One thing to point out though - sometimes, after grants and such, private schools are cheaper than NY's state schools. I went to a private school because after grant/scholarship money, it was cheaper for me to go so than to go to a NY state school.

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I tell myself that I do not HAVE to pay for these things. If I can, without taking out a second mortgage or cashing out a retirement plan, I would love to. But I'm not saying to myself that I have to pay for these things. Sometimes when I have said I'd like a third child, people have said to me, that's 3 college educations you'll have to pay for. While I would like to pay for their college, I don't want to not have a kid because I might not be able to pay for college. KWIM? I mean, I'd rather be alive with a student loan, than never having been born. But, at the same time, I will try to contribute as much as I can, especially with living expenses in college because I don't want them to have to work while in school.

The one thing on the list that I really do want to pay for is their first car. I'd like my girls to share a safe car when they get their license. And I don't want them working in high school. I'd rather they be involved with extra curricular activies and/or internships, etc. Not working for something unrelated to what they want to do so that they can have a car and gas money.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

To the extent that we are financially able to do so we will help our children out as much as we can.

My parents were fortunate to be in a great financial position, so they purchased a brand new car for me, paid for all of college and some of law school, they paid for half of our wedding (we wanted to pay for part of it ourselves), and they contributed about $40k towards a down payment.

I was very fortunate and if I am blessed to have the same means, then I will do the same or my children to the extent they deserve it. I was a very good kid, got stellar grades, never got in trouble etc., I went to a great private university and law school and graduated at the top of my class. I may have a little bit of a shopping problem But other than that I have never been entitled and always grateful.

If my children are good kids and hard workers, I will do all that and more if I am able to.

I do not believe that having your parents help you out if they can means that you do not appreciate things or don't work hard.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We plan to pay for their college and grad school. We will probably get them a reasonable car during school.

After they graduate from school, they are on their own!

Large (future) expenses for your kids

I bought my own car, paid my way through undergrad and grad school and paid for my own wedding. My kids will likely have the same future.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

we will 100% pay for our children to go to college. IMO, that is part of a parent's responsibility if they can afford to do so, of course. i also plan to help my children with their weddings. car i am not so sure about.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

My parents told my brother and I that money was always tight and we were on our own for cars, college and a house.

Ultimately, they had plenty put aside. We were so grateful. I hope DH and I can surprise DC with that kind of generosity.

Message edited 8/2/2012 7:44:47 PM.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

we will see what the future brings. i doubt i will need to help DD with things, but never say never.
my parents paid for 100% of everything until i was 21 and moved out on my own. i am grateful to this day for that.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

I paid for my own college (undergrad and grad), cars, and my own wedding.
We also just purchased our own house, with help from no one. My parents were never in a financial position to help me. My husband was pretty much raised the same way, with the exception of getting a used car which his parents got him. Because of this, we have had to work and pay for everything we own, and would like to instill this in our son, but at the same time, I would like to help him. So I doubt I will provide all of these things for him 100%, but I will help him with these expenses.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

DH and I will pay for 4 years of college, grad school they will be on their own. As for a car, we will match whatever DS, and any future children, are able to save from after school jobs, birthdays, holidays, etc. Wedding- if we ever have a DD, we will pay for her dress. For DS we will maybe help pay for the honeymoon. Other then that, they, along with their fiances, will have to do what they can afford.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We'll do the best we can...and they will be grateful for whatever that is! Lol.

I refuse to be someone who does without their entire life so we can cover every penny of college. To me there is nothing wrong with a child taking loans or working to help pay for college. But if we have the means to help, of course we will. Its just not something I feel we NEED to do.

I didn't have much paid for and I didn't care in the least. I'm still paying college loans off and its perfectly fine by me. My mom did whatever she could to help and I was so appreciate of it. I never had a car, took out most college loans..my dad did pay for my wedding reception but not because I expected it...he offered. Which i hope to do in the future to ease some of the financial burden of a wedding.

Re: Large (future) expenses for your kids

We hope to be able to pay for our children's educations and weddings, as our parents did for us. I want them to start life debt free, as we did. We are truly lucky, and I would like to be able to minimize financial stress for my children as they start their adult lives. This doesn't mean that I won't expect them to work to earn money for other things that they want.