Would this bother you?

I have mixed feelings about this but don't want to give my mom a huge guilt trip...

My older sister has 3 kids and lives in Atlanta. I have been visiting her long distance for years and try to go down for all of her kids' bdays (the oldest is 12), and so do my parents. My niece's bday is Sept 11 and my mom is planning to go down to Atlanta from Sept 7-12. I am due Sept 16 with my first baby...I am a little upset she's planning this trip so close to my due date, esp since she's a nurse and is supposed to be one of my important support people right after birth.

I could potentially go early of course, but I could also be very late, who knows. But she could have skipped this one trip. Would this bother you??

Re: Would this bother you?

Honestly, yes it would bother me. I'm not sure if I'd say something or not, but it would totally peeve me. That said, if you did go into labor when she was there chances are she could easily get back in time. It's a quick flight and there are so many NY-ATL flights everyday. I might ask her if she could consider going down earlier or could she hurry home if I did go into labor.

Message edited 8/20/2012 9:44:03 AM.

Re: Would this bother you?

Yes, it would bother me.

Re: Would this bother you?

I don't think I'd tell her not to go but I would flat out ask her what should my back-up plan be if she misses the birth since you're counting her to be a major support. I would think that might giver her some perspective on canceling the trip. I'm kinda surprised she'd book a trip on those dates if she expects to be at the birth.

Would this bother you?

this would bother me. given the fact that you guys haven't missed one of your nieces/grandkids birthday, i would think this one time would be ok because of the circumstances. Giventhat your mom is a nurse, i'm surprised she would agree to the trip for 5 days. Of course, you don't know if you'll go early or if your DS will come late, but still.
Just a question, not intended to start anything, but lets say, you were to give birth Sept 10th or Sept 12th...in the future, would this present a problem in celebrating your child's birthday when your nieces birthday would be so close?

Re: Would this bother you?

Would this bother you?

I'd be annoyed. My mom is going away for 10 days and coming back two days before I'm due. Half of the trip is to FL for her father's 90th birthday so I understand that (although don't understand why she has to go for so long). She wasn't around when I gave birth to DD and when I asked her to come after 2 weeks because I really needed help, she told me it was "too cold" (she lived on LI at the time and I'm OOS) This time, she just doesn't care at all if she's around. I'm so over it. I don't know why she even moved nearby. If you like your mom, sit down and talk to her about it so you don't end up where I am with my mom (I basically have no respect for her and only see her and talk to her out of obligation, not because I like her). It's kinda sad. I just vow to have a better relationship with my children.

Re: Would this bother you?

It would definately bother me. There is a very good chance she will miss the birth of your first child. Can she postpone her trip until after the birth? Nobody ever knows when they will give birth. With my first i had DD 1 day before my due date. I hope she can be convinced to change her trip. Sorry you are dealing with this!

Would this bother you?

Yes it would bother me. Maybe she is thinking you will go late or on time.

Would this bother you?

This would bother me A LOT. I know it's selfish, but this is your first DC and she has gone to all birthdays in the past.

I think you should ask her if she has a plan if you go into labor while she is on vacation. Or if she has any advice about who you can count on to be a support. Maybe that will help her see it is crazy for her to go.

Would this bother you?

would not bother me. My parents live in FL and did not come up for the birth. They were there a few days later. I dodn't want people there in the room so there was no need to have them sit in a waiting room for hours.

MY FIL/step MIL were also on vacation.

Re: Would this bother you?

If it bothers you, you should say something. If you don't and your mom isn't there for you, you may end up carrying resentment.

Re: Would this bother you?

It wouldn't bother me...but because I know if I went into labor my mom would come back and cut her trip short a little

Re: Would this bother you?

That would bother me a lot. Maybe your sister can talk to her and tell her she should stay with you.

Re: Would this bother you?

it would definitely bother me! did you speak to your mom? tell her you were hoping she would be around for the birth (and possibly in the room with you if you wanted)? maybe she doesnt realize you would want her there? you should absolutely tell your mom how you feel

Re: Would this bother you?

Yes, it would upset me.

Re: Would this bother you?

I just went through the same exact thing (check out my past posts ) and am sort of still going through it since baby is here and still have two other DC to take care of and she has a loaded calendar until October(when she said she'd be avaiable!) I do have to say though that since I had the baby early everything seems to be working out for me and my Mom has been a huge help in the end. You just never know what could happen. ie. go early or go late

You need to let her know it really bothers you and that she is essentially hurting you. But, you have to realize you can't make her change her mind. It's her risk to take. It's a sticky situation, but all you can do is accept what she is willing to give. And you are right, SHE'LL have to live with the guilt if she misses it.

Would this bother you?

It would bother me. You should say something.