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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
It's ok because it's the internet, she/he probably doesn't know any of us in real life and was hoping we could all respond in an 'intelligent'  manner. I don't find it disturbing at all. Ask a question - if I can answer, I will. I wouldn't stress disturbing anyone who internalizes an internet post to this extent.
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Posted 10/17/12 10:13 PM  |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by Daisy32
Disturbing how people think this post is ok simply because "you knew what she meant." Doesnt make it any less rude. I'm not saying the op should be attacked but if you're going to post a potentially offensive topic- well then accept the repercussions.
I know what she meant because her tone wasn't offensive and she explained herself well. She didn't say, " I'm better than you and I need to only live near geniuses." She clearly stated that she didn't want be around snobby people; however, an environment where there is a life of the mind, a love of learning and lots of stimulating discourse is important to her. The OP is not the only person who desires this and this desire does make her less of a person.
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:18 PM |
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mommajay
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 255 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Thank you so much. I wish I understood how I offended so many people. I'm guessing it was the statement I made about how, in general, people in low-income areas are less educated than people in high-income areas... but that's not my opinion, it's a fact! I thought it was a well-understood fact. There's a simple correlation between income level and higher education level. But I'm a single mom in a lower income bracket just looking for some like-minded people. I can't afford those high-income areas, so I was asking for towns that might be more middle-class but still value education and have the kind of vibe I'm looking for.
Daisy, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me where I was rude, because I didn't mean to be.
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:32 PM |
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Where do the smart people live?
I understood what you were trying to ask and was not offended. I think what you were trying to say was a "collegiate atmosphere".I went to school up near Ithaca and always loved hanging around the town because it had a college/collegiate vibe. It was not even about being around "smart people" per say. It was more about finding a niche. In Ithaca the town was small and people were open to making new friends, it was Ok to be different or unique, there was acceptance. I think there are many people like that on LI but you have to look a little harder for it. You could try living close to a college (like Stonybrook?) but the only other place I have felt that was in NYC (the village specifically). Good Luck and I hope that helped.
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:32 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by MrsA1012
Posted by Daisy32
Disturbing how people think this post is ok simply because "you knew what she meant." Doesnt make it any less rude. I'm not saying the op should be attacked but if you're going to post a potentially offensive topic- well then accept the repercussions.
I know what she meant because her tone wasn't offensive and she explained herself well. She didn't say, " I'm better than you and I need to only live near geniuses." She clearly stated that she didn't want be around snobby people; however, an environment where there is a life of the mind, a love of learning and lots of stimulating discourse is important to her. The OP is not the only person who desires this and this desire does make her less of a person.
 ITA!
Actually the only thing "disturbing" on this thread is the way some people attacked her and made a joke of her question. A question that was neither rude or offensive...........it was SO obvious what she was trying to ask even if it wasn't worded in the perfect manner.
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:38 PM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Do me a favor......given our history...find someone else to quote
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:49 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by Daisy32
Do me a favor......given our history...find someone else to quote
Were you addressing me here ? I'm confused..
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:56 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by Daisy32
Do me a favor......given our history...find someone else to quote
We have history?  To be honest, I truly don't remember who I go back and forth with on LIF...........it's just a blur of screen names most times. 
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| Posted 10/17/12 10:57 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
For those who were offended, pretend you are the OP's editor, how would you have phrased this question so as not to offend people?
My take on it was...
Where can I find people that are interested in ... (insert any topic, e.g. political discourse , quantum physics or arts & culture)?
I'll admit that I miss having conversations like I had in college - whether it was a debate on law, philosophy, theology (at a Jesuit University), etc. It was great to be surrounded with people that challenged me. I haven't had that back & forth in person in a long time. Not necessarily like minded people because everyone agreeing doesn't challenge. I love a good debate (jPresidential ones don't qualify as a "good debate" because I yell too much at the TV).
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| Posted 10/17/12 11:00 PM |
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BeachGal
LIF Adult
Member since 2/10 2827 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by Jbon630
Posted by MandJZ
Posted by BeachGal
In my house.
FTW.
How do you know your neighbors aren't asking this? Wondering where the smart people are, even though you live next door?
My neighbors would know I was joking.
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| Posted 10/17/12 11:27 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Hmmm are you asking maybe where you would find an area that has a lot of young professionals, large percentage of people with higher ed? If you have a place in mind, you can check city data web site. The amount of education of populace is included on that, so my thought is you may not be alone in asking that question. HTH.
City data
Message edited 10/18/2012 12:18:24 AM.
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| Posted 10/18/12 12:16 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by nrthshgrl
For those who were offended, pretend you are the OP's editor, how would you have phrased this question so as not to offend people?
My take on it was...
Where can I find people that are interested in ... (insert any topic, e.g. political discourse , quantum physics or arts & culture)?
That was my take too but the responses shouldn't be shocking when you ill-phrase a question on a public forum. It's actually remarkable, being so intelligent and all, one would lack couth.
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| Posted 10/18/12 12:27 AM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
I'm smart but my neighbors are idiots  I should have made a post like this 2 1/2 years ago....
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| Posted 10/18/12 12:36 AM |
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mommajay
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 255 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Where do the smart people live?
Brownie, can you please point out to me where I "lack couth?" People keep hurling insults at me and I don't see where I did any such thing... it's not going to help me phrase anything better if people won't point out where my wording went wrong.
The responses are shocking to me because I never meant to be rude, and yet what I've felt in return is the equivalent of a bunch of women slapping each other on the back and laughing to see who can insult me the best. (And, luckily, many others who have stood up for me... which helps this day not feel like a total loss.)
I'm sure I'm too sensitive for all of this, but I can't pretend it doesn't hurt. I don't see where I set out to hurt or offend anyone, and yet, just now, you absolutely set out to hurt me. Why?
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| Posted 10/18/12 1:11 AM |
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mommajay
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 255 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by brownie
Oh, I forgot to add. Your implication that smart people don't exist in lower-income neighborhoods...
That's some thin ice you're skating on 
I did not say, nor imply this.
What I said, and what I meant, and what is a FACT, is that IN GENERAL, the population in low-income areas have lower levels of EDUCATION than people in high-income areas. That's all I said, and then I went on to say that I don't want to/can't live in a rich area, either, and I was looking for a middle ground with thoughtful people in it. I also said that I know education and intelligence do not always mean the same thing.
Somehow that's being twisted into me believing that there aren't any smart people in poor areas. No! I clearly didn't say that! I also never said that I was "so" intelligent, or that I didn't like diversity, or... gosh, I can't keep track. I even said I did not consider myself an intellectual. Is this all being intentionally misread because it's more fun to have a target to beat up on? Or... what is it?
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| Posted 10/18/12 1:41 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Message edited 10/18/2012 2:04:19 AM.
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| Posted 10/18/12 1:46 AM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?doe
Good luck in your quest.
Message edited 10/18/2012 2:03:25 AM.
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| Posted 10/18/12 1:59 AM |
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mommajay
LIF Infant
Member since 7/08 255 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Where do the smart people live?
Yes, your opinion matters to me, and yes, you hurled an insult at me: you said for someone "so intelligent" (obviously sarcastic), I "lacked couth." Those are insults, and they hurt, and I don't understand why you said them.
And yes, of course you can believe those things, but I'm asking you to show me WHERE I phrased something rudely so I can understand. Otherwise, how am I supposed to NOT offend people if no one will show me where I went wrong in the first place?
So for you, or Daisy, or whoever else called me obnoxious or rude or whatever... could one of you point this out to me? And maybe if it turns out that I didn't actually say what you thought I said, you could let me know that, too?
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| Posted 10/18/12 2:06 AM |
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MandJZ
Time for Baby #2!
Member since 8/10 4194 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Mommajay, I want to apologize for participating in the joke. Early on in the thread I quoted another poster and continued the joke simply because I found that poster's response funny. I do think I also provided a response about living in Manhattan or Brooklyn, which you later clarified would not work logistically.
It is so hard on an internet forum where people don't know you or your tone. I often find myself overly apologetic or extra careful (particularly in the political posts) because most here do not know me and my tendency to be dry and sarcastic. After reading through this, I very clearly get what you were trying to say and I think it is a very fair question. I don't know LI well enough to offer any suggestions in the area you are looking - but I hope you can find what you are looking for because it sounds like you only want what is best for you and your child.
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| Posted 10/18/12 8:00 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by mommajay
Yes, your opinion matters to me, and yes, you hurled an insult at me: you said for someone "so intelligent" (obviously sarcastic), I "lacked couth." Those are insults, and they hurt, and I don't understand why you said them.
And yes, of course you can believe those things, but I'm asking you to show me WHERE I phrased something rudely so I can understand. Otherwise, how am I supposed to NOT offend people if no one will show me where I went wrong in the first place?
So for you, or Daisy, or whoever else called me obnoxious or rude or whatever... could one of you point this out to me? And maybe if it turns out that I didn't actually say what you thought I said, you could let me know that, too?
I wasn't insulted by your question and I think I understood it and I don't see it or you in a negative light AT ALL.
It wasn't so much about how classically intelligent other people are. It wasn't about feeling superior to the people you are around. It was merely that you enjoy conversations that stimulate you and get you thinking. You are looking to engage with people on a deeper level. Instead of rote conversations, you want to have richer and deeper discourse that evolves naturally and in interesting ways.
That's not abnormal, that's not bad and the reason many of the ladies are on this forum is because - consciously or not - they enjoy the same type of thing.
So I do get it and I understand it and I appreciate it and I like the EXACT same thing.
But - as you have acknowledged - your wording could have been better. Now, remember this is the internet so your tone and intention don't carry as well in written format.
So to paraphrase slightly:
"I want to find a place where I fit in like I did in my last home town"
THEREFORE
"I am looking for a community of smart people"
CONCLUSION (using a very basic logic): Your current community isn't working because the people aren't smart enough for you.
This comes off as though you lack humility and have a large ego. This can be off putting. Additionally, people really like to put pins in large egos, so it makes you a fair target in the minds of many.
"Lower income neighborhoods do not have as high a concentration of degree holder."
"I lived in a high income area and found there to be a lot of snobbery"
"I want to live in an area that is neither wealthy or poor"
CONCLUSION (using funky internet logic): You use education level as a yardstick to determine intelligence. You view poor people who can't afford higher degrees as less intelligent and therefore do not feel a community with them. You feel people in wealthier communities are snobbish and therefore don't feel a sense of community with them either.
Anyone on here who doesn't have a degree or loves someone who doesn't have a degree will read that and be annoyed at the perception that you can't see intelligence if it isn't proven by a piece of paper. People who live in poorer neighborhoods will feel annoyed by the judgement that their community lacks intelligence based on the number of degree holders per capita. People who live in wealthy areas will be aggravated that they've been deemed snobby based on your personal experience with what appears to be a single wealthy area.
I don't think you were trying to come off overly intellectual, egotistical or rude. I think you seem sweet and like you are just trying to find your place. I wasn't insulted at all by your words and I do feel terrible that you were picked on because it does suck to be called out whether it is justified or not. But I do think you are probably best off leaving the subject alone at this point and just keep on keeping on. Defending yourself on this is not going to get you were you want to be. You tried to explain yourself.. now just take a deep breath, understand what may have been communicated incorrectly and continue posting.
Message edited 10/18/2012 8:04:32 AM.
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| Posted 10/18/12 8:01 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Further to rojo's comments.. I think most people on this site are pretty intelligent so if you asked where to find a community of intelligent, articulate people... Here we are, but we are scattered all over.  
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| Posted 10/18/12 8:22 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
It's funny to see some posters comment rude and nasty things on here and yet the complete opposite on the Amanda Todd thread...talk about 2 faced.
To the OP I hope you find the area that you are looking for. I'm not to familiar with Suffolk County areas, but the ones that have been mention I have heard great things about.
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| Posted 10/18/12 9:14 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by BriBri2u
It's funny to see some posters comment rude and nasty things on here and yet the complete opposite on the Amanda Todd thread...talk about 2 faced.
To answer your question I agree with other posters who suggested seeking out groups that might interest you. I know meetup.com is a popular website for that.
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| Posted 10/18/12 9:15 AM |
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Daisy32
Mommy
Member since 2/08 8081 total posts
Name:
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
I love the mentality that if you think someone is being rude AND YOU SAY SO- you are automatically a bully.
Yeah ok. Typical.
To the OP....yes I thought the wording was rude and yes I understand that you didn't mean to be. But understand that when you start making statements (for example) about how lower income area = lower intelligence it can get ugly on a forum board...for the simple fact that its a PUBLIC forum board with 10,000 different people each with their different opinions.
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| Posted 10/18/12 9:27 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Where do the smart people live?
Posted by Ayne11
Clearly women are the smartest, therefore we live in binders. 
For the win!
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| Posted 10/18/12 9:32 AM |
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