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BarryA
LIF Zygote
Member since 10/12 4 total posts
Name:
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Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
After four valiant years of fighting Cancer, my wife, with her forever effervescent and indomitable attitude finally succumbed to cancer on 7/16/12, leaving me, 64 and my two single daughter, 24 and 29. It could have been more tragic, but she handles the illness with such optimism and aplomb that we thought that she would never die. But she did. At first I handled the situation with the same "heroism" if i could brag a little, as i did with her illness. I reflect now that that was because I was experiencing relief: Relief not only for myself in terms of the 24/7 emergency care I was providing, but relief that she was "lucky" enough to die before the Cancer that was everywhere, but was growling fastest up and down her spine, made her life excruciating painful. I thanked the lord that she was taken while she was still functioning and still had hope, no matter how slight. I gained sustenance from that, and it maintained my attitude for the past several months. But the memory of her battle has faded and the memory of the pre Cancer Kathy, because that was her name, has reasserted itself and ushered me into depression, big time. I see a Psychiatrist, who is trying to help me through this difficult phase. Love to all that are in my shoes, and I know that there are many.....
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Posted 10/13/12 8:18 PM  |
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LI-Joy
Member since 10/07 2910 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
So sorry. My deepest sympathy to you and your family.
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| Posted 10/13/12 8:28 PM |
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beanie571
:-P
Member since 5/07 2509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
I'm so sorry for your loss.  You and your daughters are in my thoughts and prayers.
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| Posted 10/13/12 9:42 PM |
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twicethefun
Loving life
Member since 7/06 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
So sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 10/16/12 11:05 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer in 2009 and I understand what you mean about feeling relief. The pre-cancer memories will come back. Hang in there! 
Message edited 11/10/2012 8:23:55 AM.
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| Posted 10/17/12 7:32 PM |
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BarryA
LIF Zygote
Member since 10/12 4 total posts
Name:
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Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
Dear Julz33. Thanks so much for the kindly response. The problem is that after feeling the relief of her suffering being over, a feeling that lasted for perhaps 2 months following her death, I started to forget about that, and started remembering my true pre-illness Kathy, and that's where the mourning and subsequent depression began. And that's where I am now
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| Posted 10/18/12 2:41 AM |
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Lisa
I'm a PANK!!!
Member since 5/05 22334 total posts
Name:
Professional Aunts No Kids
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
I am so sorry!! 
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| Posted 10/18/12 8:58 AM |
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Denisemang
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 982 total posts
Name:
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. I FM'ed you.
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| Posted 12/1/12 11:07 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was a wonderful person, and you a wonderful husband. I can tell from you writing about her and opening up, how amazing of a person she was and the love you two shared. God bless you. 
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| Posted 12/3/12 10:21 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Lost my life 3 months ago and am depressed.
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| Posted 12/12/12 2:43 PM |
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