Explaining why child is different to sibling?

My DS has been diagnosed with PDDNOS. He is obviously developmentally delayed, and sometimes his older brother (4) gets annoyed or frustrated or just plain sad because he can't understand why his younger brother won't talk to him or doesn't want to play with him.
I keep saying that younger DS is still a baby (he's 2) and that he'll play with him when he gets a bit bigger, etc. DS2 is a big boy, though, and DS1 isn't really buying that excuse anymore. He's starting to think that his little brother just doesn't like him

Anyone else in a similar situation? Any advice on how to "fix" this? TIA

Re: Explaining why child is different to sibling?

I have the same issue but has gotten a lot better since his diagnosis at 2, services really work! I've always encouraged my oldest to be like a teacher to his brother. I had SEIT at home to include my other son so that they can encourage play, sharing and taking turns. I always told my oldest that his younger brother is still learning to do things and that it will take time and that he needs to help him talk and help him learn to play like his teachers are doing. When they do play now its very short because its either one of them is playing too rough with the other or its a sharing issue which pretty much sounds typical too me and they are interacting! It will get better! Just encourage your oldest to help him get there.

Re: Explaining why child is different to sibling?

I can't speak directly about your DS's dx, but with my DD (who is also severely developmentally delayed and doesn't speak), I too just kept telling my older one that she's still a baby. I did start introducing the terminology "Angelman Syndrome" around DD#1 slowly, we went to several Angelman events, and just slowly introduced it to her. I was petrified to tell DD#1, as I was afraid she couldn't handle it. I really only ever answered as much as she asked. I also never use it as an excuse for DD#2's behavior, but more as an explanation...I say things like, "You know Erin can't do {xyz} because of her Angelman Syndrome". DD#1 is now almost 7, and she pretty much gets it, as much as a 7 year old can. In fact, sometimes when I get frustrated with DD#2, my older one will tell me, "You know it's only cause of her Angelman Syndrome".