Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

I don't know what else I can do. It's becoming so frustrating and I am just so done changing diapers!

Ry will be 4 in a couple of weeks and wants nothing to do with using the potty. I have done everything and anything I can think of, he refuses. Rewards, letting him be wet and uncomfortable, books, DVDs, talking about it, and nothing works.

I know he will go when he is ready mentally, since physically he knows when he goes and is dry when he wakes up.

Please tell me someone else has gone through this and sucessfully potty trained!

I know he will eventually, I was just wishing it would be NOW, rather than later.

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

My DD is 3.5 and I am in the same boat as you. Tells me when she has to go both pee and poop but wants nothing to do with big girl undies or sitting on the potty. We have also tried everything out there and am personally sick of everyones advice. My Ped says that she will go when she is ready but I tend to think it has become a control thing with her. I am so sick of changing her as I have an 8 month old as well. I too am at my wits end and dont know what to do anymore. We tried several times to train but holds it all day until she knows she will go in for a nap of to bed (she is that smart because she knows she gets a diaper). AHHHHHH HELP!!!

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Lea was 5 when she was finally potty trained she kept regressing

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

What worked for me was telling my DS that 3 year olds were NOT ALLOWED to wear diapers, that's it end of story, no ifs and or buts about it. I started telling him a few wks before his birthday, reminded him often, on his B-Day the diapers disappeared and were replaced by a pile of big boy underwear. He never saw another diaper again. Pull-ups at night were referred to as bedtime underwear. He had all the signs of being ready, but was resistant. No bribes, charts or rewards did the trick for him. This worked like a charm he has had 3 accidents since we potty trained him in July. I know this won't work for everyone, but I figured I'd share. Good luck!

Eta: if he shows the signs of being ready I am a firm believer that you just have to make the change to underwear and NEVER go back. It will be hard on you for a little while if he keeps having accidents, but I believe the worst thing you can do is give in and put them back in diapers. Just my opinion

Message edited 1/9/2010 4:50:20 PM.

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Im sure you have probably tried this but what got DS over the hurdle was talking up all the things Big Boys could do and little boys in diapers could not do. Gym class was for Big Boys Only, Jump places were for Big Boys and so on.

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Posted by MaMaTeenie

What worked for me was telling my DS that 3 year olds were NOT ALLOWED to wear diapers, that's it end of story, no ifs and or buts about it. I started telling him a few wks before his birthday, reminded him often, on his B-Day the diapers disappeared and were replaced by a pile of big boy underwear. He never saw another diaper again. Pull-ups at night were referred to as bedtime underwear. He had all the signs of being ready, but was resistant. No bribes, charts or rewards did the trick for him. This worked like a charm he has had 3 accidents since we potty trained him in July. I know this won't work for everyone, but I figured I'd share. Good luck!

Eta: if he shows the signs of being ready I am a firm believer that you just have to make the change to underwear and NEVER go back. It will be hard on you for a little while if he keeps having accidents, but I believe the worst thing you can do is give in and put them back in diapers. Just my opinion

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Leave him until he is ready! Don't sweat it and just give yourself and the kid a break.

Noah was 4 yesterday and was only potty trained 3 weeks before Christmas....I bribed him to do a wee on the potty ONCE and since that fateful day, he has only had 2 accidents, he is now completely potty trained.

Do not stress about it, do not worry about it, just leave him until he shows he is ready. I don't know anyone who has gone off to college in diapers!!!

FM me for support if you want to!

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Hey there pal! I heard you were going to start trying with him and I see it isn't go so smoothly. Poor Ry. Does he have a little potty or does he try to go on the big potty with one of those smaller cushion things? Maybe try the opposite? Or maybe you can take him to TARGET and let him pick one out on his own? Lord knows Gianna is no where near potty training, although, man I wish she was lol.

What about if you start fresh on the weekend when John is home and have Ry go in with John? Maybe if he sees Daddy do it, he will be more willing? Or what kind of reward system do they do at school? Maybe you can try the same at home? I dont know, i'm just throwing things out there. Let me know. Maybe Aunt JoJo and Uncle John will send him a potty present. When all else fails, bribe him lol. Good luck. Tell him we love him and miss him and will see him soon hopefully. (and you too )

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

My DS wanted nothing to do with potty training. He physically could do it but mentally and emotionally he fought it. Nothing worked with him either. We would just ask him a couple times per day if he wanted to go potty and if he said no, then we'd just say ok, maybe later. No pressure (because that never worked with him). One morning, he woke up and said "I want to go potty" and ever since then he's been potty trained - day and night, awake and asleep - no accidents. Even got up at 3AM once because he had to poop. Easiest potty training ever! I know it's not easy to wait and you are tired of changing diapers, but it is very stress free for the child this way and there are no issues with still being in diapers at night or refusing to poop on the potty. I know it stinks, but when he's ready he'll do it - try to be patient.

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

i cannot tell anyone how HAPPY this post makes me...i was starting to think my little guy, Ryan was in a league all of his own. he will be 4 on june 29th and REFUSES to be potty trained. he even tells you that diapers and pull-ups are for big boys too bc of the boy on the box! he could care less if he wets underwear (the times we've put them on him). he just asks for a new pair eventually. we've offered EVERYTHING under the sun and he doesn't care. its definitely a control issue with him and its KILLING me- especially since i have a 22 month old daughter AND a baby on the way. i am sooo frustrated by it...in fact, he just called me from the den and said, "mommy, i need you to come change my pull-up i did poop..." i think he is finding humor in it! lol....he's so heavy and so stubborn! my doctor says when hes ready he'll go, but everyone else gives unwarranted advice that i am OVER hearing. especially my mom. she constantly has something to say. its just getting unbearable! he has to be trained by september bc he'll be going to pre-k- no diapers/pull-ups allowed. ugh.....thank you though for letting me know i'm not alone...usually i'm so quiet about it bc i'm embarrassed thinking i've completely failed on that front!

Re: Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

In my humble opinion - and my 4-year old grand daughter is totally resistant to toilet training - doesn't SEEM to have a clue. But, her life is not filled with consistency; she has confusion about her place in life - lives sometimes with her single mother and sometimes with her 'mimi' - I feel that she is confused about all the changes and resisting toilet training is her way of making a statement - this is the only thing over which she has any control, so she resists.

Potty training a very resistant 4 year old..ugh

Ds resistive too.. I think laugh and learn potty has been helping at home...and seeu ng other kids is helping at school