October Miscarriage

Hello all. DH and I just experienced a miscarriage in October. We went to my 8 week appointment on September 24th and found the baby to be measuring 6w4d and HR of 103. The tech assured us that it's nothing to worry and I could have ovulated late. I track my cycle and I knew that I didn't ovulate late. (I also have a 15 month old DS who was very strong from the get-go! Measured a day ahead and 156 HR at 8 weeks.) My dr wanted to see us back 2 weeks later for a repeat. I was so busy with my DS and work that I barely even focused on the upcoming sonogram. Sure enough there was no HR at 10 weeks. The fetus measured 7w6d. I wasn't surprised. I prepared myself to hear this news. My husband was surprised and we were both sad, of course. For the next 2 weeks we waited to see if I would "pass the tissue" naturally - I didn't. I went in for the D&C on 10/24. Up until this point I was doing good - emotionally. I was at peace with what was going on - I hope that doesn't sound terrible. When I came out of anesthesia I felt relief and grief. I immediately starting crying and couldn't stop for 2 hours afterwards. It was a tough 2 weeks not knowing if I was going to miscarry at work or home alone with my DS or out running errands. So, I had such relief that it was over and for the first time, I had real grief. KWIM? Now, weeks later, I'm recovered and we are told by my dr to watch 3 cycles before we start trying to conceive. I'm scared to go through this again. It's almost like I'm having a touch of PTSD. I told my DH last week that I'm thinking I want to take more time than just the 3 cycles. He's so supportive, but I wish he would tell me "no I don't want to wait. We'll be fine!" (He's treated me with kid gloves since this has happened.) Also, I am 36 so that is always in the back of my mind, too.

I should also add that while I had a really wonderful pregnancy with my DS, I had a lot of post-partum "repairs" done. He was on the bigger side (8.6) so I was torn up pretty bad. Literally! I had an episiotomy revision in January and an anal tear ( ) repair done in April. I feel like I "just" recovered from giving birth, so when I got pregnant again I was like wtf did we do?! lol I think that's also where my "let's wait" thoughts are coming from.

Am I alone? Thanks for listening! xo

October Miscarriage

I think that once the doctor tells you it's OK to TTC again, physically you are good to go. MC is incredibly common, and I hate how it's so "hush hush" which makes us all think that it isn't. (look at my previous posts here and under IF, and you'll know what I'm talking about.) I think that if you are not EMOTIONALLY ready to TTC again, don't do it. Wait until you are totally ready. I've had a mc at about 7 weeks and a chem around 5 & 1/2 weeks 2 months later. I'm now 3 months after that and am just back to TTC (this was the first month really back to it), I'm doing acupuncture and being really good about timed BDing. I'm prepared for it to happen again, just in case, but I'm really confident that it wont. If it does, then my plan is to go to the RE and get tested for RPL...

MOST women who have 1 mc, go on to have completely uneventful next pregnancies... and by "most" i mean something along the lines of 95% of women (according to the studies).

I'm so sorry you are going through this, it is absolutely rough to deal with, and DHs never really know how to treat us...

Message edited 11/22/2013 1:30:51 PM.

Re: October Miscarriage

Thank you for this! I'm sorry that you're having these emotional times, too. (I just had to look up "BD" in the lingo - lol - that's cute.) You're right, it is so common and you're also right, we don't talk about it. You have such the right attitude, though! That's half the battle. Good luck with your BD!

My dr did also mention that studies show that women who conceive within 3 months of a miscarriage are more likely to miscarry again than women who conceive 3 months later and beyond.

Re: October Miscarriage

Posted by WatermelonSlices

Thank you for this! I'm sorry that you're having these emotional times, too. (I just had to look up "BD" in the lingo - lol - that's cute.) You're right, it is so common and you're also right, we don't talk about it. You have such the right attitude, though! That's half the battle. Good luck with your BD!

My dr did also mention that studies show that women who conceive within 3 months of a miscarriage are more likely to miscarry again than women who conceive 3 months later and beyond.

Re: October Miscarriage

Good point! I would rather wait, as well.

Re: October Miscarriage

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a mc in March '11 at 11 weeks and it was rough. My doc made me wait 3 months before trying again and I'm glad he did, because I really got to grieve and used that time to heal (well, not 100%, but you know what I mean). But, I was petrified to try again. It really sucks.
We're all here if you ever need to talk!

Re: October Miscarriage

Posted by StaceyWill

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a mc in March '11 at 11 weeks and it was rough. My doc made me wait 3 months before trying again and I'm glad he did, because I really got to grieve and used that time to heal (well, not 100%, but you know what I mean). But, I was petrified to try again. It really sucks.
We're all here if you ever need to talk!