How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I am MOH for a friend of mine, and she was showing me some of the dresses that she really likes for the bridal party. The designer she wants starts at $250, and when I looked up reviews of his dresses I saw multiple times that if you are over 5'6 you get an added "tall fee" since you have to make the dress longer, and anything over size 10 is considered "plus sized" and that is an additional fee. Also, alterations are pricey because of the material of the dress. I know I am looking at close to $400 for this dress as I am 5'7, a size 10, and all my dresses need to be altered because my chest size is smaller than my hips size.

Is there a way to politely voice my concern to the bride? Originally, she had kept saying that she wants to keep the price of the dress under $200, but now she fell in love with this designer.

This is by far the most expensive wedding that I have been in already, so the cost of a dress that is near $400 is making me very concerned. I don't want to come off as being cheap, but I have my own expenses as well.

TIA.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I would just be honest with her.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Be honest and remind her about keeping it under $200. Tell her spending over $400 on a dress just isn't reasonable for you. Remind her you will need to purchase shoes, under garments and pay for hair & make-up.
Go shopping with her and look for similar styles.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Thanks everyone.

The other 4 bridesmaids are her/her FH's sisters and another friend of ours. I think the parents are paying for the sisters, and my friend has said she's going to suck up the expenses because she feels bad saying anything.

What worries me is I'm the only one in the party with a "real" job, so I don't want that to be thrown back at me that I "should" be able to afford a dress.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Message edited 6/9/2014 7:26:16 PM.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I agree, be honest with her. If she truly wants that dress, and to keep a friendship, she should offer to pay the difference - and do it.

Someone I know is in a wedding that is making all sorts of ridiculous demands on her. Two trips so far, changed BM dresses so those that had already bought had to buy again, etc. One girl wants to drop out, and it's way too expensive for several, but no one has dared speak to the bride who is in some sort of fantasyland because her parents probably are paying for most of the wedding. It's not right. She's straining friendships that will probably end right after the wedding anyway as she is moving to another city.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

As much as it sucks, there is a huge expense being in a wedding. The dress for my SIL's wedding was over $300. I was not happy about it, but I didn't want to complain. You can talk to her, but if she decides it's what she wants, what do you do then? Pay for it and feel bad for bringing it up, or drop out?

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

What is the designer? I am curious if it is the same as a dress I recently wore. And the dress was $360 plus $115 for alterations. I am 5 foot 7 and signed off on getting an XL (which I've never needed before) and with this designer it was too short! Had to be taken down. The brand was Lazero and it was the most cheaply made dress ever and fit horrifically, for all of us. I would say something now.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Talk to her.
One of my bridesmaids couldn't afford any dress because she was going through a rough time...but she was a dear friend, and I wanted her in the wedding party...so we paid for her dress. She just explained the situation and we dealt with it.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

If you are the MOH I would guess that you are all very close friends.

You should feel comfortable speaking up - she probably doesn't want you to be put out - I know I wouldn't want one of my best friends to have financial troubles because of my weddings.

If she insists maybe she will help you offset the cost or something. But if you are that close I think she would want you to speak your mind.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I would tell her it's too pricey for you because of all the extra fees and ask if you can wear a different dress since you are the maid of honor.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

i'm going to vote: tell her the truth.

posts like this make me feel like i was a saint of a bride. i didn't want to impose anything on my bridal party. i gave them a color scheme, and asked them to buy their own dress... we ended up with a beautiful "obmre" of autumnal colors.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

If you are the MOH in the wedding you likely have a close relationship with the bride so be honest. Tell her how you feel about the cost of the dress. She may be understanding and pick an alternative or she may tell you she loves the dress and will not change it BUT you will not know unless you tell her how you feel.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Based on what you read here I would tell her I was looking at the dress online and saw terrible reviews!

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I would be honest with her and tell her it's very $$ but before you do that I would look for alternatives similar to the dress she wants.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I agree with being honest.

I do kind of the as MOH, it is sort of your job yto speak up for the who BP. Even if their parents are paying, if there are sisters from the same family,m that's two or dresses--I;m sure most people would appreciate costs being kept down.

Just be nice about it.
I would tell her the dress is really pretty, but I know you wanted to keep it under $200, and this designer seems to have a lot of up charges, so the dress is really more than the base price, plus thee are alterations to consider.

I would then suggest, trying to find the best price on that gown for her, or trying to find similar gowns.

I would also mention the reviews. Just tell her that you want to make sure her pictures look good, but from what you have been reading, those gowns are difficult to alter & may not look right at the end.

In the end though, if she won't budge after you ask nicely you either have to go with it, or back out of the wedding.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I would be honest, but i are there many dresses that will be a lot less than that with alterations being needed as well?

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I may be in the minority but I would suck it up and get the dress she wants. Her wedding, her choice.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I would be honest with her. If she is understanding and a true friend she will work with you. If not then I would back out of the wedding. You are not obligated to spend money you don't have. Remember there are many other costs which may also be on the higher end if that is her taste.

Re: How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

Message edited 6/10/2014 12:41:33 PM.

How to tell a bride the bridal party dress is too expensive?

I agree with the majority. Tell her. The dresses my girls wore were $180 and I shopped the HELL out of that dress. I was even willing to switch but they all loved the dress so we went with it....