Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have two DS (4 and 2 years old). I always said I wanted three and I have saved all the clothes/toys, etc. As I was packing away my 2yr olds clothes I had this feeling of sadness, almost like...will i ever open this again? I am so torn over another child, when we had my boys, I was so certain, it was so clear.....this time, not so much..

My DH is happy with two, says that if we went for a 3rd he'd be disappointed if it was another boy (hes just being honest since we have two boys already). For that reason and just the fact that we both work FT it's alot of work with just two, hes worries we wouldn't be able to handle another.

I get it, I agree with him but then my heart aches and I don't feel complete at the same time.
I need to decide soon if I want another since I'm getting older, I don't want the kids too far apart, etc.

So tell me, how did you know you were done having kids? Is there a feeling you had? A completeness that you feel? I'm waiting for this sign that is obviously only based on an individuals needs/wants but I'm just trying to get a sense for how other people felt...TIA

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

We are the reverse. I have one dd, second dd will be here in July. I already know dh wants a third and hopefully a boy. I'm the one who will carry, deliver and stay home though so I don't know. Plus we could end up with three girls anway. Plus we are older and I wouldn't have the luxury of waiting. It would be 2-3 years tops.

Depends on budget, health, age, space in your house, so many factors but above all what's in your heart (but also your head)

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I am currently pregnant with #2 but we are def done after this baby comes. Maybe if we made a lot more $ and had a bigger house, would we consider a third.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

We have 2 - ds & dd.

If I did not have to work and we could afford a third child, we would go for a 3rd.

Since none of the above is true or attainable right now, we are officially done. I get sad a lot lately thinking about how DD is doing her 'first' things and that this will be the last time I experience one of my children taking their first step, or getting their first tooth etc.

I wish we didn't live in such an expensive city. DH makes a decent salary but not decent enough for NYC standards.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have just one DS. I would like another, but am on the fence since it took 3 rounds of IVF to get pregnant. DH is also on the fence. I don't know what would make me feel done, but I'm pretty sure after 2, I'd definitely be done.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have two- and we decided that we only wanted two.

They are 7 and almost 5 now. While I feel fine everyday with having two, I still get wistful and sad when I donate the clothes-toys that my second DS outgrows. It is the end of an era.
I suspect no matter how many kids you have, that twinge of sadness is still there, knowing that there will be no more little babies.

But, we figured we would feel that way with our youngest no matter what. But for me personally, and my husband, two is the right number for us.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have two girls and am pregnant with my third (girl). We really wanted a boy, but we went into this knowing it could be another girl, and you have to be 100% ok with that.

I always wanted 3 - I come from 3 and so does DH. DH wasn't as convinced as I was, but to me I just didn't feel complete without a third.

I am a FTWM and I commute to the city. I have a wonderful nanny who takes great care of my kids and my house and that makes all the difference.

Of course we will have to make some sacrifices to have more than two, but to me it is worth it - if I didn't have a third I know I would always feel like a part of me is missing.

DH mentioned going for #4 yesterday, but I think I am done now!! We will reevaluate I guess in 2 years!

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I knew I was done when my period was late and I was absolutely horrified instead of even a little excited. After that "scare" lol we sought more permanent birth control.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I'm pregnant with #2 (boy) and we have a 3 year old girl. I actually had always said I would want a lot of kids if money and space weren't a factor but after actually being pregnant I changed my mind and said 2 was enough. Now that we have a girl and a boy on the way I thought I would feel done for sure but I'm actually already a little sad that this baby will be the last! I just love children and being a mom and watching them grow up. It's truly amazing!
I just hate being pregnant and worrying about the money scares me. Plus we only have three bedrooms and we don't want to move...DH put a lot of his blood, sweat and tears into this home to make it ours.

The huge game changer though is my parents are seriously looking to retire and move near us (they are in Long Island and we are in nj) and watch the kids. That would save tons of money of daycare obviously and just have more support. They are already asking for a third. My husband wouldn't mind a third either although sometimes he talks about the money aspect.

We will see when #2 gets here....maybe a boy will just rock our world and I'll sign up DH for a vasectomy

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

Currently pregnant with #2 and this will be it. We could have been done after #1 but oops! Financially we cannot have anymore especially since we'd need a new house and new cars! I also don't want to be pregnant again. I will miss experiencing things like kicks but I'm spent.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I go back and fourth almost daily if we will go for a 3rd. My girls are almost 3 & 5 now. Life is easy, they sleep, they play nice, our lives are hectic with school and activities. I'm also not getting any younger and had IF treatments for both girls. It's so hard to think we are done and I'll never have another baby. Than I can't imagine having a newborn with our busy lives. We have given ourselves until spring of next year to decide.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

we're going through his now... trying to decide about a 2nd kid :-/ our son is almost 4.5, and we adopted him from korea. So if we did go for another, obviously we would adopt so it would be all of the process and $$$. DH is an only child and says he was fine with it... but i have one sister, and can't imagine not having a sibling. we're not BFFs like some sisters are- but its nice knowing she's there and that i had somebody that grew up with me.
i think the thing thats really holding us back is that we have NO family close by. my parents are 2 hours away, ILs are 4.5 hours away, my sister is an hour away. so we have nobody close by for things like taking the kids for a couple hours on a saturday so we can get some yard work done without chasing kids around, or nobody that says "go out to diner friday night, we'll come over and watch the kids", nobody to pick the kids up from school or whereever is we couldn't. its really a lot tougher than i expected it to be, not having family right here.
BUT at the same time, i don't want DS to grow up without a sibling. i want him to have somebody out there that he can count on as he grows up, somebody to run around the house with, etc.
My grandmom passed away recently and it was really nice to see my mom and her 3 brothers have each other through all of that. and it got me thinking that DS won't have that- he doesn't even have any cousins!! and i know it will be hard, but i also know it will get easier as he gets older and our (possible) future kid gets older... so i don't want a couple hard years to keep us from DS having a sibling to grow up with. its SO SO tough!!!

Message edited 4/20/2015 4:48:36 PM.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

We knew we were done when both of our kids were very sick at the same time. DS1 was 3yo and DS2 was about 3mo. It was so awful and we couldn't imagine doing that with 3 children.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I know I'm not done bc I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 month old, I hate being preggo and I'm not a huge fan of the early newborn stage, but I still feel the need to do it one more time.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I knew I was done right after my dd was born. I never saw myself with more than one child. I do the majority of the parenting and I am looking to retun to work this fall/winter. I love being a mommy and want to provide my daughter with the emotional and financial support she needs to thrive and for me I can do that best with one child.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have a DS and a DD and am currently pregnant with #3 (DS2).

After I had DD, I couldn't say for sure that I was done. DH was pretty content with two kids, but now he's super excited for the third. When I was storing away old baby clothes, I knew for sure that I wasn't done. Plus seeing my friends with their babies also helped me make my decision.

With this pregnancy, I feel like this is it. I can feel that my body is older this time around, and it's getting harder to keep up with everything.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

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Message edited 7/9/2017 7:31:34 PM.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have always said I wanted two kids and so did DH.

We have a boy and a girl and I honestly do not feel done. Some days I think NO WAY and some days I think why not?

I am young enough that we COULD have another....but I don't think we will....I don't know that I would ever feel DONE to be honest.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

Hmmmm, well after one DS I thought we were done, but still had doubt. After 3 years we decided to go for another and got a DD. Now I know I'm done because I am so happy and fortunate for the two I have. I have both a boy and a girl so I feel as if I get to experience both. I don't want to go through the baby stage again and love that they both sleep through the night. I am content knowing that I'll get to hug my baby nieces and nephews when I want a baby fix. I just know our family is complete in my heart.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have one and would have loved another, but we are a bit older and had a scare being pregnant with my first. I don't think I could go through that again. Would I have loved another baby? Yes. I get very sad knowing all her firsts are the end of firsts for me. It breaks my heart to pack up the clothes she outgrows. But do I feel like our family is incomplete? No. I love her so much that I am ok only having one.

Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

We wanted 2, but then I got pregnant with twins. Oops. I told the OB at my first appointment to tie my tubes when they took the babies out. We're definitely done! I'm thankful for all of my kids, but 3 is a LOT to handle.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I had twins the first time around and needed fertility treatments to get pregnant.
I was on the fence for a 3rd. I knew if I didn't have one I would always wonder. I also felt "cheated" in the fact that even though I had 2 kids I only had babies once. We said we would re evaluate when the twins were 3.
I accidentally got pregnant when they were 18 months.
I am so happy I had a 3rd and didn't have to make the decision. Life is hectic and my 3rd is a handful but I wouldn't have it any other way

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I've always wanted three and am currently pregnant with #2. My DD is a handful so I'm hoping this baby is a bit more calm but still full of life like her. Lol

We said we'll see how it goes with two, but in my mind and heart, I know and I don't feel done. My parents watch DD and will also watch the baby, so I'm definitely worried about that aspect and I can't imagine throwing a third one in but DD will be older and most likely in nursery school at that point.

We're also older so if we have a third, we will probably start trying when this coming baby is around a year. I want to be done having babies when I'm 40 and that's only a couple of years away.

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

Re: Anyone else not sure if they want another child? How did you know you were done?

I have 2 (boy & girl).

Pregnant with #3.

The third will def change our lifestyle. We will hire another person to take care of kids. We will pay for preschool for DD (there goes my salary). Our kids are out of diapers for a while & we can travel... that will be put on hold. This is back to the baby drawing board.

BUT.... I'm excited & have always felt like there was one more baby needed to make us complete.

DH wanted 2... this child is for ME.