Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I would have posted this on the correct board for my inquiry but that board is dead!
I'm 6w3d and had a loss in March at 8w2d. I'm feeling very different this time, besides not feeling pregnant (I was nauseous last time) I'm not even getting myself excited. Part of me thinks if I don't get "excited" I won't be as disappointed if something goes wrong and the other part feels like I'll never feel the excitement of expecting again because of my new fear of losing a baby again.
For those who have gone through this... does that fear ever leave you? Did you feel excitement again?

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I think it is different for everyone. My DS is 9 months old on Friday, and I will always worry about him. For me, every milestone was a relief and I became more and more excited. Passing the time of my latest loss, hitting each week, getting into the 2nd trimester, each sono, etc. Making it to 24 weeks/viability was a huge relief for me, then when I hit 28 weeks and knew the chance of survival if something happened and he needed to be delivered was super high I felt better... and then when I was 35&1/2 weeks and developed severe hypertension and was induced I was terrified, but knew he was going to be OK.... and he was! Take each day as it comes, you are still super early, I didn't have any nausea until about 8 weeks. Congratulations!

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I think one you have a loss the fear of loss is even stronger. I didn't have a miscarriage until after my 2nd ds. Even when you don't have mc you are always scared something could go wrong.
As the pp said as each test passes and each dr appt you hear the heartbeat it gives you a sense of relief.

Congrats and good luck

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

Hi,

I suffered a loss in December, I was 27 weeks. Not really a miscarriage, but more of a stillbirth. Unexplained, which can make it scarier because I have a perfect pregnancy up to that point. I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and anxiety definitely is a factor. It is really hard to get excited right now knowing what happened, but I am sure when I start showing and feeling kicks that it will make it more real.

Good luck and wishing you luck!

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

Thanks girls! I actually felt pregnant a week after I conceived the first time. This time I thought I was getting my period. I can definitely see that I'll feel a little better once I pass the 8 week mark but I have nerves I definitely didn't have before. I am with an RE so I saw the heartbeat at 6w and hope to hear it on Thursday. So far everything is good but it's still so early and last time everything was looking good too. Infact I had a D&C and every tests under the sun done and there's no explanation for my loss. I am happy to hear success after loss stories!

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Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

First I am so sorry for your loss.
I had 2 miscarriages and they both ended the same way, at my NT scan no heartbeat.
It is the worst feeling in the world when there is no explanation.
That being said, when I did get pregnant again it was so hard for me to imagine that it wouldn't end the way the others did. After each milestone (12 weeks, 16 weeks, 20 weeks) I started to feel more relaxed. I was hesitant to register or help my sister plan the baby shower thinking I would somehow jinx myself. I had the most caring and understanding doctor who let me come in for a Doppler check or even a sono if I was feeling anxious.

Good luck to you.

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I've never had a miscarriage but I did suffer a loss when I went into labor with my twins at 21 weeks. I'm now 30 weeks and I'm still extremely nervous. I kept this pregnancy pretty quiet - only told close family and friends..I even made a new name to post on here!

I do agree with the PPs..each milestone helps a little bit. I wouldn't discuss a shower, the nursery..pretty much anything until I was 24 weeks. I thought I would feel a lot better once I hit 28 weeks but I'm still very nervous. I constantly feel like I'm going to jinx it or something.

The best thing for me is to just look to my next appointment. Instead of saying I have x amount of weeks left in my pregnancy, I say I have 2 weeks until my next appointment. It eases my mind a little to think of it that way.

Wishing you lots of luck!!!

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I've had 6 losses in total - three before DD (who is now 4 yrs old) and 3 more while trying for #2 (I'm 21wks along now). All of my losses happened at or before 6wks - never with a HB. So for me, every single pregnancy was fearful until I would reach that milestone and could hear HB for the first time. That in itself was a huge relief both with DD and now DS. I can't say the fear completely vanished though, but I did feel even better when I got out of the first trimester, and better still after my anatomy scan a couple weeks ago. I think you just have to take it day by day. But I can say with certainty that you WILL eventually feel excitement for your pregnancy when you're emotionally ready to!

Congrats and I wish you a very healthy pregnancy!!!

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

Thank you for writing this, I am in the exact same boat. I have one child and it didn't take much of anything to conceive her. We have been TTC #2 a while now and have had 2 losses. With the last pregnancy, when I got past the time frame of the first loss I felt better, but I still was super happy when I found out, I was pregnant, I kind of just felt a relief that all would be OK. The last loss happened at 12 weeks, and I have not celebrated this pregnancy yet. I couldn't celebrate even if I wanted to. My mind is not letting me. I feel a little bad for myself to be honest, because I can't be happy about this pregnancy because I am so scared it is going to end. I am not really looking into things at all, it's more of just letting go, and letting myself enjoy it, I can't do it. I will be 6 weeks Wed, so hopefully this passes, but I have a feeling it won't until I am out of the first trimester. I only say that b/c I had a MMC and everything was perfect with the baby until I went in at 12 weeks and found out the baby passed.

Hopefully we can both overcome this! Congratulations!!!!

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I'm not sure if the fear ever leaves.. I hope it does though! I have had three miscarriages... One at 8 weeks, one at 10 weeks, and one at 15 weeks. I am currently 10 weeks and praying that everything will go smoothly! My dr has been great and has been letting me come in every two weeks for a soon to put my mind at ease. I don't think I will relax until after I pass 15 weeks and even then I don't know if I ever will! Best of luck to you! Congrats!

Message edited 8/3/2015 5:04:21 PM.

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

It never leaves, I had 5 losses before Hailey and I used a Doppler every day until I felt her move... Then I waited on every movement to reassure myself.

I had 3 losses between Hailey and this pregnancy and I'm 16w2d and I use the Doppler twice a day and I will until she starts moving around too.

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I got pregnant 2.5 months after my d&c at 8weeks. It was very difficult to enjoy the pregnancy and look to the future. I didn't want to do weekly photos but then I told myself this baby deserves the same love and attention as my loss. I did do weekly photos but did it differently. I waited until 24 weeks to register and 20 weeks to announce on social media. Good luck and relax.

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For me, with my 1st pregnancy, I was very ignorant (ignorance is bliss right?), because I didn't have any losses and he was very easy to conceive. After my DS I had a loss, and realized that I shouldn't have taken his pregnancy for granted. I have since had 2 more kids, and 3 loses, and I am 11 weeks with my 4th. I will say I am excited this time, even though I am still early, and it's bc I can't stop what's going to happen, I don't want to deprive myself of that feeling. I learned that the loses were hard regardless of if I got excited or not. And I still wanted to celebrate the life of my angel babies, even if it was cut too short. But this is how I've coped with my loses and my pregnancies, and I think everyone will have different experiences and ways they cope best. I do get anxiety when it takes a bit for them to find the baby with the Doppler, and I don't think that goes away for me. I hope you are able to start enjoying your pregnancy, I know it's hard though, but hopefully each passing week will make it that much more easier!

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

A huge thank you to all who have responded to my post. I feel better knowing I'm not alone.
I want to be happy and I am, but I'm so scared to "talk" about this pregnancy even to my husband because I feel like if I make it real it'll be taken from me again. I know that's not how it works but it's all I can control now. I will never forget my first baby and I can only hope that this is my take home baby. Reading all your stories has helped me make it through another day of the unknown and I'm going to continue to take it day by day and look ahead to my "next appointment" as one of you girls mentioned.
As far as a doppler machine goes, how do you go about getting one???

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

My friend gave me hers because I lost my first one in Hurricane Sandy. You can buy the droplet on Amazon and I use aloe instead of ultrasound gel. Lasts a lot longer IMO.

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage

i went through the same thing! i was a nervous wreck until about 12 weeks.. then cautious until about 20. i definitely got more excited though and less nervous at about 12. im 31 weeks now and feeling the baby makes it much easier. but i still have my days!

think positively is all i can say!

Pregnancy after Miscarriage

I didn't read through the comments and it's probably not what you want to hear... but for me, the fear never went away. My baby girl is now 1 month old and I can say I never let the fear go and it didn't feel real until she was actually born. I was so devastated after my mc, I had such a hard time accepting that it was really real. But now she's here and I'm so thankful every minute of everyday for her. And if it wasn't for that mc, this baby I'm holding wouldn't be here right now.

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I've tried to relax but I really can't. I had two miscarriages and this one was problematic in the beginning (levels weren't doubling and whatnot) and by the time my RE finally came around and gave us some hope that we had a good pregnancy, after we saw the heartbeat, he said until I have a healthy baby in my arms it's going to tough, I won't be able to relax, based on what I've been through and I agree. But I can tell you, while yes people without our history relax, every mom worries the whole pregnancy regardless to some extent, whenever you hear of bad things happening with others' pregnancies, so you never really get to cruise on through either way. I just decided that at this point I can't do anything more to prevent a loss, and this baby deserves for me to be excited about him or her so I am just getting on board. Good luck I hope our experiences make you feel less alone in how you're feeling!

Re: Pregnancy after Miscarriage