Funniest things your dc have said

Spin off from momy confessions. Some of those really laugh with what comes out of mouths of toddlers.

What's the funniest things your dc have said? Or maybe not funny at the time, but funny now lol

Funniest things your dc have said

Sooooo, one day I picked up my twins from pre school at our church and on the way home someone was so close to my bumper and all of a sudden my husband came out of my mouth and I said "omg get off my d!ck!" And here goes my 4 year old daughter "yeah get off my mommy' d!ck!! Right mommy, get off your d!ck!" I just covered my mouth and tried to keep from laughing and prayed she didn't go to school saying that the next day.

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

My ds is speech delayed. I understand him perfectly though lol. Well i just started potty training him. He didnt like it on day one so he started screaming "mommy i hate you"!! My dh was so happy he said a full sentence he started praising him saying nice talking Aidan , great job

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

For me, it's more of her expressions. She is 5 going on 15. She comes out with such adult like phrases sometimes.

One day she was playing with some toy and couldn't figure out how to get the pieces to fit right and she flung it aside and said- "Get this away from me! I can't even stand to look at it anymore!"

She often says things like- I can't even TAKE this anymore!
(she's quite the drama queen)

Some girl at her pre K was apparenntly givng her a lesson on head lice and how they are bugs that crawl in your hair, etc.
She came home asking me about it and then said, "Mommy, if those lice ever got in MY hair, I would just freak out. Just freak out."

Yeah, me too, honey, me too!

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Posted by NervousNell

For me, it's more of her expressions. She is 5 going on 15. She comes out with such adult like phrases sometimes.

One day she was playing with some toy and couldn't figure out how to get the pieces to fit right and she flung it aside and said- "Get this away from me! I can't even stand to look at it anymore!"

She often says things like- I can't even TAKE this anymore!
(she's quite the drama queen)

Some girl at her pre K was apparenntly givng her a lesson on head lice and how they are bugs that crawl in your hair, etc.
She came home asking me about it and then said, "Mommy, if those lice ever got in MY hair, I would just freak out. Just freak out."

Yeah, me too, honey, me too!

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Why her pee pee broke off when she was in the bath with her twin brother

Had to explain that one lol

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

She walked Into the bathroom at my friend's house and exclaimed, "ew, mommy, it's dirty in here!" I wanted to crawl in a hole.

Funniest things your dc have said

I can tell already that my daughter is going to be an impaitent driver. If I am sitting in traffic, she'll throw her arms up in the air, apparently in disgust and she'll tell me "Mommy, look at all these cars....are you SERIOUS???!!!" Yeah my dear....it's 5:30pm rush hour on the Southern State parkway....i am serious!! (Maybe I should take that as a sign that we should move to Montana in the middle of nowhere with no traffic!)

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

My 2 year old DS was in my room when I was getting dressed and he looked at me naked (from the front) and said "Mommy why do you have hair in your butt?" I died...laughing

Well, first of all, honey...

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Posted by Lara&Aidansmommy

Posted by NervousNell

For me, it's more of her expressions. She is 5 going on 15. She comes out with such adult like phrases sometimes.

One day she was playing with some toy and couldn't figure out how to get the pieces to fit right and she flung it aside and said- "Get this away from me! I can't even stand to look at it anymore!"

She often says things like- I can't even TAKE this anymore!
(she's quite the drama queen)

Some girl at her pre K was apparenntly givng her a lesson on head lice and how they are bugs that crawl in your hair, etc.
She came home asking me about it and then said, "Mommy, if those lice ever got in MY hair, I would just freak out. Just freak out."

Yeah, me too, honey, me too!

I bet she gets all her expressions from you. Cause you're hilarous!!!!

Funniest things your dc have said

This one just happened the other night, and I was DYING. I asked her if she did #2, but instead of saying 'did you do cocky?', it came out 'did you do c0ck?'

So she starts saying, 'mommy, do you want to see my c0ck? Can you see my c0ck? Doggy, can you see my c0ck?'

I laughed so hard, I was CRYING.

Message edited 8/27/2015 10:31:18 AM.

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Oh, she's full of them! Most times I just cringe b/c I hear me coming out of her mouth like:
--Are you KIDDING me???
--For real? (like asked rhetorically)

She also has told me my legs are "scratchy" and need to shave. Gee thanks!

Once she said she wished I was a boy, because she loves me so much she wants to marry me.

The other day she said we should be the only people with a car so we don't have to sit in traffic. Yep, my kid through and through.

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

My daughter asked me why when the girl did my hair she left the top "black"
Those are called roots baby, roots.
And I guess i need an appointment for color.

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

DD dropped the f-bomb while we were sitting in traffic on our way to a b-day party. From the back seat DH and I hear "Oh, F#$K" It was so hard not to laugh, but we told her right away that is a bad word and she shouldn't say it.

One night I was getting DD dressed for bed and she was scratching her legs, telling me that she thinks she has "Mystery Pox and needs to go see the Doctor" (those who watch DocMcstuffins will get this one).

Funniest things your dc have said

dd1 is 5 and we were going out to dinner and I was packing a back pack of crap to bring to keep them busy lol. She was telling me "bring, crayons, paper, stickers and my ipad, so we don't freak out" lol.

She is totally 5 going on 15. She cracks me up all the time.

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

OMG I can't believe I forgot this one!

Just last week we were out to dinner in a nice restaurant and DD had dressed herself to go. She looked fine. But mid way through the meal she looks at me and says "mommy, I forgot to wear underwear."
So I said, well you have a skort on so there is shorts under your skirt so no big deal, but just remember next time.
And then she proceeds to YELL- "I'm not wearing any panties!"
At the top of her lungs.


Yep. That's my girl!

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

I just remembered...after giving her a bath one night, she was standing up on the bed. She looks down at her chest as I was getting her dressed and says "Look Mommy....I have 2 polka dots! One, two!" Oh boy! Just wait about 10 years, when they are no longer "polka dots!"

Funniest things your dc have said

When I honk my horn dd, 2, yells "go!!" Wonder where she got that from..lol

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

So many of these are making me laugh out loud. My favorite part of parents magazine is the section where people post funny things their kids say!

Message edited 8/27/2015 1:27:52 PM.

Funniest things your dc have said

The other day when it was pouring raining I was walking to the train and got soaking wet and decided to just go home. I called my house to let DH know I wasn't going to work and to let my nanny know, and DH had me on speaker when I told him I was so wet that even my underwear was soaked through. DD then told my nanny and everyone at camp that mommy didn't go to work today because her underwear was soaking wet. My nanny thought that meant my water broke. I'm sure her camp counselors thought it meant something else!

Funniest things your dc have said

When DD#2 was in 1st grade, like all little ones she was becoming exposed to a whole new world of reality that she had yet to truly understand.
One day just she and I were going somewhere and I asked her why she looked so upset. Well some "big 4th grader" had told her how babies were made that day and she asked me if what she (accurately) heard was true.
Mind you, I'm driving and in no way prepared to engage in a major birds and bees convo. So I verified the truth in what she was told. Her distasteful/confused face did not change as I added that this was not something that she need worry about now, we can talk about it later but the bottom line was to reiterate at that particular time that this is an adult issue she is far far away from having to think about.
It truly is a wonder I did not crash the car with her following response: "Well, I am just really scared that I won't know what to do. I think it would really help if you and Daddy make another baby, I can be there to watch you do it!"

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Re: Funniest things your dc have said

Posted by BaseballWidow

Posted by REKoz412


It truly is a wonder I did not crash the car with her following response: "Well, I am just really scared that I won't know what to do. I think it would really help if you and Daddy make another baby, I can be there to watch you do it!"

Classic!

Message edited 8/27/2015 1:07:09 PM.