Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I am pretty much in your boat right now. I'm currently on maternity leave, and I work PT at home for a firm in NYC whom I've been with for a very long time. Before I left for maternity leave, they asked me to come back to work FT in NYC (I used to be FT in NYC and then went PT from home a couple years after my son was born.)

In my situation, it's not worth my stress level to go back to work FT. My son is entering Kindergarten in September and I know that I will be busy with him and his schedule. If I went back FT, I'd need before and after care for both him and the baby. My hours would have to change in order to make sure I got to day care before the doors closed, not to mention the $30,000 price tag for day care.

To me, my quality of life, my stress level and being able to be involved in my son's school activities is enough for me to SAH. Since my husband is the bread winner, and his salary will be increasing significantly over the next few years, it was a relatively easy decision for me to SAH with the kids. In my case though, I'll be able to do free lance work as a graphic designer so I'll still be able to bring in some extra income while having the benefit of being available to run the house and take care of the kids.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Very, very personal.
For your concerns:
Mommy friends are easy to make... And plentiful!
Taking care of a baby will keep you occupied.
You will have more time to take kids to activities.
As for giving up career & cash flow... That's super personal and I think a career will suffer no matter what (the decision is if the benefits outweigh the negatives).

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

In my opinion, try being a SAHM. You just have to force yourself if you are not that social, to get into mommy groups to meet other moms and friends for your son. It will all come. Just be positive and don't let yourself fall into that rut you mentioned.
Being with the babies is priceless... Good luck.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer or really anyone to know until our in the situation

Sahm could turn out to be wonderful for you
Or it could be everything you ever hated


Is it possible to go on maternity leave,she how you feel and if you decide you love it,give your notice

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I recently became a SAHM, not by choice, when my daughter sustained her brain injury. It's something I always thought I wanted. It's been almost 3 months and it's getting a little better but I'm looking for PT work. I also still send my 2 year old to daycare 2x a week. Money is getting more tight every day. I disliked my job and will not be going back there no matter what, but I find myself missing it. Maybe I just miss my old routine.

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I left my job when dd1 was born and have no regrets. I actually made more than dh but we make it work. While I was pregnant we basically banked my salary the whole time to build up our savings and make sure we could get by on just his salary. I still have the majority of that in my own account so I have a little something of my own if need be and we have emergency funds if anything comes up.

Like you said, quality of life when you stay home is great imo. No stress over who stays home with a sick kid, no scrambling to find dinner after a long work day, no trying to squeeze in errands after work, no stressing about scheduling doctor appointments months in advance to get an appointment that works for your schedule. Dh know he'd have a lot more slack to pick up with cooking, cleaning, and the girls if I was working full time so he's happy I'm home and things are less stressful. In the summer he's off for over a month so we can travel and have lots of family time without battling weekend crowds.

Making friends ha8d been easier than I expected so hopefully you'd have a similar experience. I met most through our town library and with social media these days it's easy to connect with people after just a few conversations and plan meetups even if you're not the most social person.

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

It is very personal of course...
But I spent many years as a FTWM wishing I was with my kids...I've never been home and wished I was at work.

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

It's a very personal decision. But for me personally, I'm happy to be a SAHM. Thrilled, really. Even though it means major financial setbacks for us. The way I see it, is I will have plenty of years to work and make money. But my kids will only be little once and for a very short time. To me, this time with them is priceless.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Like a pp posted said, it's a very personal decision. In my mind, part time would be ideal. I'm a teacher so I feel like I get to experience both sides. I am absolutely loving this summer with my 2 year old. We have so much fun together. During the summer, there is definitely a lot less stress. The house is always clean. There is no rush to pick DS up from daycare and quickly make dinner so he can go to sleep. This summer I have really put myself out there in terms of making friends. I'm in 2-3 moms groups, which equates to about 1 play date a week.

With that said, I do love my job. Although I could stay home, it would be silly for me to leave the work force. I like being able to go out and buy myself stuff without worrying that money is tight. I like that I am saving money for my retirement.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

It's definitely a personal decision. While I wouldn't mind working part-time or having the summers off, I know being a SAHM isn't for me. I did take some time off when DS1 was younger as my job had a lot of last minute late nights and wasn't family friendly at all. I enjoyed being home with him, but definitely wanted to go back to work. I enjoy working and don't want to make sacrifices in our lifestyle to stay home. I also know I'm not really cut out to be a SAHM.

In your situation, I'd consider going back, but looking for another job that gives you more flexibility or better hours to accommodate your son's schedule. IMO it's always easier to find another job when you're currently employed.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I would stay home or work PT if that's an option. They're only little for a short time, you have the rest of your life to work is how I look at it. If it's financially possible, I'd spend more time with the kids.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

i'm a SAHM. i really think theres a lot to say for quality of life.... and it sounds like you being home will be REALLY good for you and your family's quality of life, without affecting finances TOO much. To me, its worth it. or, just try it for awhile... if you don't like it, start looking for work.
in our case, we have NO family at all near us. my parents are 2 hours away, my ILs are 4.5 hours away- DH is an only child, and my only sister lives an hour away. so even with my son starting full-day school... we literally don't have ANYBODY we can call to pick him up if he gets sick at school and we can't leave work. nobody to watch him on all the days off or half days of school that he'll have... its just a lot easier for me to home and available for all of that. i'm not making money, but taking that stress off is valuable to the family....
so i say go for SAHM at least try it, since you have that opportunity. i gotta say- there are definitely days i'm ready to walk out the door and go back to ANY job... but overall i wouldn't trade being home

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

I just wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I read every single one and really took in what you all had to say. DH and I talked at length over the weekend and we decided to give me being a SAHM a shot!

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)

What do you think is best for the children? Use that to help with your decision.

Re: Deciding whether to become a SAHM or continue working - opinions needed please (Long)