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MommyofJandA
LIF Zygote
Member since 1/17 3 total posts
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Kids birthday party question
My son is turning 5 and we are having his party at cold spring harbor fish hatchery and aquarium. It will be a fishing party. They limit it to 18 kids and 6 adults. Any extra adults I have to pay $6 for admission. In addition I have to pay for the adults food. They also require that each child has an adult there, so basically I have to pay an extra $72 for the other 12 adults. That's annoying. Anyway, how can I nicely write no siblings and one parent on the invitation. I don't want to pay an extra $100 for parents plus food.
I was thinking something like "Due to CSHFHA policy, we will be unable to accommodate siblings or more than 1 parent per fisherman"
Do you think that's ok? Will people know that 1 parent has to stay?
TIA
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Posted 1/3/17 7:59 PM  |
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Chai77
Brighter days ahead
Member since 4/07 7364 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
I would not know one parent must stay based on what you wrote. (At 4/5 years old though, who in their right mind would leave a child alone at a party?)
How about something like-- "Aquarium policy requires that one parent, and one parent only, accompany each child at all times"
I think that would also discourage people from bringing siblings. I wouldn't want to state no siblings flat out on the invite bc I think it's kind of tacky(?). Hopefully no one will go there and worst case scenario, I would just pay to avoid making an issue.
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| Posted 1/3/17 8:20 PM |
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MommyofJandA
LIF Zygote
Member since 1/17 3 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
I agree. People will be less likely to bring a sibling if they have to go alone. The parent will have to help the child fishing as there are 18 kids and only a few helpers... maybe something like "Aquarium requires only one adult per fisherman to assist" Then people will know they have to help their kid and wont be able to watch a sibling.....
Thanks!
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| Posted 1/3/17 8:26 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
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g
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by Chai77
I would not know one parent must stay based on what you wrote. (At 4/5 years old though, who in their right mind would leave a child alone at a party?)
How about something like-- "Aquarium policy requires that one parent, and one parent only, accompany each child at all times"
I think that would also discourage people from bringing siblings. I wouldn't want to state no siblings flat out on the invite bc I think it's kind of tacky(?). Hopefully no one will go there and worst case scenario, I would just pay to avoid making an issue.
.
I like this
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| Posted 1/3/17 10:13 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
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Karen
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Kids birthday party question
I think your wording was perfect but still be prepared to have extra people show up. It always happens.
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| Posted 1/4/17 12:34 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by Chai77
I would not know one parent must stay based on what you wrote. (At 4/5 years old though, who in their right mind would leave a child alone at a party?)
Some people carpool thou. Where I live I could easily see one parent taking their child and one or two of their friends.
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| Posted 1/4/17 8:25 AM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Its difficult for some people to get childcare for their siblings. Is there a way that you can say - siblings will be $6pp or whatever it is.
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| Posted 1/4/17 10:15 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by JME78
Its difficult for some people to get childcare for their siblings. Is there a way that you can say - siblings will be $6pp or whatever it is.
sorry but IMO there is no need for this. It is rude to ever assume someone can bring a sibling and if they are going to bring one and expect them to participate I would hope they would know they would have to pay for them to partcipate and not expect the host to.
Either way for this party you can't bring extra siblings without an adult every child is required to have an adult with them so I assume its a one to one ratio? But maybe not.
OP I think what you wrote is good.
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| Posted 1/4/17 10:27 AM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
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| Posted 1/4/17 10:54 AM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
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| Posted 1/4/17 11:01 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
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| Posted 1/4/17 1:36 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
not at 5 or 6 I have had party for DD since she was2 and there was always a parent present.
I think its for older kids parties that people would car pool
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| Posted 1/4/17 1:49 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by blu6385
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
not at 5 or 6 I have had party for DD since she was2 and there was always a parent present.
I think its for older kids parties that people would car pool
Not where I live. And I used to own a birthday party place and we did drop off parties for 5 and up. We had plenty of people drop off. I have three kids and for all three it's been pretty much the same. There have always been carpools even in pre-k.
My point is if a parent NEEDS to be there I think you should let parents know in case someone plans on sending their child with another parent.
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| Posted 1/4/17 2:44 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
No way would I let my 5 year (or even 6 now) old DD go to a party in someone's else car. Nope.
Nor would I haul around anyone else's kids at that age.
I don't want that responsibility.
If she goes, I go and I'm the only one who drives her anywhere.
I dont' trust anyone else- these aren't my friends or family- they are strangers to me
And would people have an extra 5 pt harness seat in the car?
Because she is in a 5 pt harness and no way is she going ANYWHERE without one
Not sure how you can carpool with multiple kids and fit the correct number of carseats.
Message edited 1/4/2017 2:58:11 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/17 2:56 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by NervousNell
No way would I let my 5 year (or even 6 now) old DD go to a party in someone's else car. Nope.
Nor would I haul around anyone else's kids at that age.
I don't want that responsibility.
If she goes, I go and I'm the only one who drives her anywhere.
I dont' trust anyone else- these aren't my friends or family- they are strangers to me
And would people have an extra 5 pt harness seat in the car?
Because she is in a 5 pt harness and no way is she going ANYWHERE without one
Not sure how you can carpool with multiple kids and fit the correct number of carseats.
When I had three young kids I had three 5 point harness carseats and a booster. Most people were fine with a 4 or 5 year old sitting in a booster. Now I have one 5 point harness and three boosters. If I have one kid that is the first or only child I always give that kid the 5 point harness because usually those are the parents that worry the most! Today I drove 3 kids from school to dance. Then my daughter left with another mom to go to a playdate. My kids are in other people's cars all the time. This topic has been posted before. I think it is predominantly a difference between working moms and SAHMs. If you are a stay at home mom with 3+ kids it's hard to juggle all the activities without relying on carpools. If you don't want your kids sitting home all day you just get used to it and it's actually not a big deal. These are all people I know well and have known for years. I know they are more careful because they have a child that's not theirs in the car.
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| Posted 1/4/17 3:30 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
No way would I let my 5 year (or even 6 now) old DD go to a party in someone's else car. Nope.
Nor would I haul around anyone else's kids at that age.
I don't want that responsibility.
If she goes, I go and I'm the only one who drives her anywhere.
I dont' trust anyone else- these aren't my friends or family- they are strangers to me
And would people have an extra 5 pt harness seat in the car?
Because she is in a 5 pt harness and no way is she going ANYWHERE without one
Not sure how you can carpool with multiple kids and fit the correct number of carseats.
When I had three young kids I had three 5 point harness carseats and a booster. Most people were fine with a 4 or 5 year old sitting in a booster. Now I have one 5 point harness and three boosters. If I have one kid that is the first or only child I always give that kid the 5 point harness because usually those are the parents that worry the most! Today I drove 3 kids from school to dance. Then my daughter left with another mom to go to a playdate. My kids are in other people's cars all the time. This topic has been posted before. I think it is predominantly a difference between working moms and SAHMs. If you are a stay at home mom with 3+ kids it's hard to juggle all the activities without relying on carpools. If you don't want your kids sitting home all day you just get used to it and it's actually not a big deal. These are all people I know well and have known for years. I know they are more careful because they have a child that's not theirs in the car.
Sounds very complicated. I have a tiny little sport sedan. I barely fit one carseat. LOL
I'll just drive her myself.
But I also don't have any "mom" friends I'd trust with my DD.
No way...I barely know these women
Message edited 1/4/2017 3:41:26 PM.
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| Posted 1/4/17 3:39 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by NervousNell
Sounds very complicated. I have a tiny little sport sedan. I barely fit one carseat. LOL
I'll just drive her myself.
But I also don't have any "mom" friends I'd trust with my DD.
No way...I barely know these women
I never thought I would be this way. I was super overprotective about people driving my 1st until he was 4 and I had two little ones at home including a newborn and I couldn't take it anymore. But it is definitely the norm in my town to carpool starting in pre-k or even the 3s for some things.
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| Posted 1/4/17 3:59 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
I have never been a part of carpools but my oldest is only 5. I can see it happening when kids get older if you have a tight knit group of friends who are willing to do that for eachother.
To OP_ I think you are probably fine with what you wrote but how about if you were to play it safe and say "Due to CSHFHA policy, we will be unable to accommodate siblings or more than 1 parent per fisherman, the policy requires that one and only one parent, accompany each child during the party".
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| Posted 1/4/17 4:27 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by lululu
Posted by Budjeg11
Posted by NYCGirl80
I think your original is the best and most straightforward. I don't think anyone expects to drop their 5 yo off at a party.
I completely agree
I posted this earlier but does no one else live in an area that you carpool to parties?
I have never been a part of carpools but my oldest is only 5. I can see it happening when kids get older if you have a tight knit group of friends who are willing to do that for eachother.
To OP_ I think you are probably fine with what you wrote but how about if you were to play it safe and say "Due to CSHFHA policy, we will be unable to accommodate siblings or more than 1 parent per fisherman, the policy requires that one and only one parent, accompany each child during the party".
This word for word. I think this is much more clear.
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| Posted 1/4/17 8:04 PM |
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MommyofJandA
LIF Zygote
Member since 1/17 3 total posts
Name:
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Kids birthday party question
Thank you everyone. Siblings cannot attend because the maximum amount of kids they allow is 18. I'm inviting 18 so if there are any extras they wont be able to participate. Plus the parent has to help the kid fish, and wont be able to watch a sibling who is not fishing. They have a small dock for fishing that is fenced in. I know its a weird set up but its what he wants to do. I think the no sibling thing was fine, there's really nothing i can do about that. My husband works Saturdays and when my 4 y/o has a party i get family or a friend to watch my 2 y/o for the couple of hours. If i cant get someone, we dont go - not the end of the world.
My question was how to say one parent only.... not even thinking that people would drop off or carpool 5 y/os.......
I think this is def. what i need to say "Due to CSHFHA policy, we will be unable to accommodate siblings or more than 1 parent per fisherman, the policy requires that one and only one parent, accompany each child during the party".
THANKS!!!
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| Posted 1/4/17 8:12 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7993 total posts
Name:
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Kids birthday party question
sounds good, it is direct and leaves no room for confusion
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| Posted 1/4/17 8:31 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
Sounds very complicated. I have a tiny little sport sedan. I barely fit one carseat. LOL
I'll just drive her myself.
But I also don't have any "mom" friends I'd trust with my DD.
No way...I barely know these women
I never thought I would be this way. I was super overprotective about people driving my 1st until he was 4 and I had two little ones at home including a newborn and I couldn't take it anymore. But it is definitely the norm in my town to carpool starting in pre-k or even the 3s for some things.
Gotcha.
I only have one so that's probably why I couldn't fathom it! I never got over the overprotective of the first thing because I never had a second! LOL
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:05 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Kids birthday party question
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lululu
Posted by NervousNell
Sounds very complicated. I have a tiny little sport sedan. I barely fit one carseat. LOL
I'll just drive her myself.
But I also don't have any "mom" friends I'd trust with my DD.
No way...I barely know these women
I never thought I would be this way. I was super overprotective about people driving my 1st until he was 4 and I had two little ones at home including a newborn and I couldn't take it anymore. But it is definitely the norm in my town to carpool starting in pre-k or even the 3s for some things.
Gotcha.
I only have one so that's probably why I couldn't fathom it! I never got over the overprotective of the first thing because I never had a second! LOL
DH and I used to be nervous about other people driving our kids. Now we are on our third kid. We mostly are able to switch and take our kids to parties but I'm always grateful when someone offers to carpool. These are all people who live very close to us and our kids play with one another often. Don't think people we don't know well would offer or I would accept.
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| Posted 1/5/17 10:12 AM |
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MCD0524
LIF Adult
Member since 4/10 1199 total posts
Name:
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Kids birthday party question
I didn't read all of the answers but this topic always gets me. My husband and I have a child with a ton of sensory issues. NONE of our close friends or his school friends know this. He feels safer with both of us there. Also, my husband works full time and only has weekends with the kids. We both like to go to parties, and neither of us ever really eat at a kids party.
I always find it odd when an invite tells someone what to do (how to buy a gift, who can attend) etc. As far as the sibling, I think its a given you can't just bring another kid to a party!? But I am just starting the birthday party age. Maybe add something about the sibling, but I hate to hear that both parents can't accompany a child to a party at that age.
Message edited 1/5/2017 6:08:13 PM.
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| Posted 1/5/17 6:07 PM |
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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Kids birthday party question
I think how you phrased it is the best way to avoid sounding rude. This way it seems like it's the place and not you placing the restriction. However, you do run the risk of someone inquiring and realizing that is not the case. In which case, I personally think it is rude.
To be honest, I really feel this is all what comes along with a party. You have to assume sometimes two parents will come or sometimes siblings will show up and in which case you have to shell out the extra money. This is just the way it is. Lucky for you the extra money isn't exhorbitant. I sort of feel like if the extra money is that much of an issue - don't have the party. At the end of the day lets face it - we are not doing people a favor by inviting their kid to our kids party - they are doing us a favor by coming so to speak. As some posters above have pointed out - everyone had different circumstances and sometimes for no fault of their own an additional parent or sibling has to come for the child to attend the party. And I say all this as someone who NEVER brings siblings (unless invited) and always goes with one parent (unless the family is invited). Every party I ever have I end up shelling out for a number of siblings. It is what it is.
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| Posted 1/5/17 7:08 PM |
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