Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

Sometimes I feel like i"m the only one who only wanted one child.
I know a lot of people who are one and done not by choice- Fertility issues, advanced age, divorced after their first and never remarried, etc.....

But it's so rare to find people who really just wanted the one and knew they were done after one..

My DD's 2 very best friends in school are both, coincidentally, only children. I know for a fact one was by choice because the mom told me, but the other mom is divorced and not remarried or dating anyone serilusly so I am not sure if she is one and done by choice or if she wants/wanted more and it just didn't work out.

I sometimes feel like a freak of nature- not that I'd change a thing or that I wish I felt differently, but I know it's not the "norm"

Message edited 3/13/2017 9:36:35 AM.

Spinoff to be being

I'm on the fence. Sometimes I love having just one. He's almost 3 and things are getting so much easier. Other times, I want another. If I could skip the newborn/infant stage, I'd have more definitely. I feel like everyone else loves newborns but not me.

Spinoff to be being

Yes, I am with you. One and done. And yes, we must look crazy to most people. Were able to give our daughter everything and I love that. I am an only child and my dh has siblings that are 10 and 15 years older than him so essentially he was an only child too. My dd is almost 5 and no regrets (thus far). We're content... it's funny bc all my friends are on their 2nd round of pregnancies and yeah, I kind of feel left out, but I don't have any interest in going back

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

I am one and done by choice- I know my husband wishes it was otherwise but I feel like my family is complete.
I do get "looks" from family/friends and people who claim I will change my mind- that being said I know I won't!
you are definitely not alone in this :)

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

I am one and done by choice (however my SO has a child, so I guess every other weekend we have two kids)

My ex husband wanted more, and is having more with his GF. But I was done and knew I was done midway through my pregnancy.

I will say this, sometimes I feel bad bc my SO has never lived with his son, and he missed out on a lot of stuff, he doesn't say he wants to do them, but he did. But we don't want to upset the apple cart, so we are what we are :)

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

I go back and forth with this every day!

I always thought I wanted 2.

Now with my daughter, I feel complete. I don't feel that urge for another or like something is missing.

My husband would like another. I guess time will tell.

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

one and done by choice - i knew as soon as i had a newborn that there was no way i wanted to do that again.
Never had the maternal pull to begin with, never held a baby and felt regret that i wasn't going to have that again.

My poor DH would have gladly had more than one, and it was a sore spot between us for a while.
But i love our little family unit of 3 and feel like we're perfect just as we are

Spinoff to be being

I am one and done by choice. I feel complete with my DD. My DH wants one more but I am done.

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

We are one and done by choice.

I also often feel alone in this situation. Many friends are on their second and third babies. They question my decision.

The only people I do know who also only have one either had fertility issues or were too old to have a second and basically physically couldn't have a second.

We made this decision based on 100 factors. There is no one reason she is our only child but I am happy with just her.

It's hard to be able to do everything just for her, I can't imagine what she would lose if I had to do things for more than one. She is a handful and expensive. My husband and I don't want to lose all control. Or fear one day we might not be able to feed her or have no hope for traveling in the future.

Life is hard.

Yes, maybe I have made it lonelier for her but i hope it will make her more self-sufficient.

Spinoff to be being

We are one and done by choice. I have grown up basically like an only child ( my sister is much older) and i liked it that way. I never missed having a sister or brother since i had plenty of friends and family around me. So thats going to be the same with my DD. I don't feel like i need to have anymore and feel that with one we can/will have a complete and happy life.

Message edited 3/13/2017 2:22:34 PM.

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

I don't know, my DD is SO happy and well adjusted as an only. I never feel like I am denying her anything.

I have asked her on more than one occasion if she wants a sister or brother- just out of curiosity - and her answer is always NO! Very quickly and very surely. Since she was younger to now at 6, it's always- NO WAY! I almost feel like she would be upset if I were to have another!

She wants our full attention. I have to admit she is "spoiled". But she doesn't act spoiled or like a brat- she just is spoiled by default- because she is the only child. We can give her everything. But mostly she craves our time and attention- and I can shower her with that 100%. I can see her being very jealous of a sibling. She is our world and we are hers.
She seems to love being an only- having her toys to herself, having our attention to herself.

Yes, sometimes she gets bored- but I am sure that would happen if she had siblings too- especially cooped up in the house all winter etc.

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

One and done by choice. I always thought I'd have more, but we realized we are very happy and didn't want to change anything.

Spinoff to be being

We are one and done by choice. I always wanted at least two. While my husband always said he wanted just one.
I had an easy pregnancy, but hated being pregnant. I also had a hard time mentally with the first few months of being a mom, and I can't imagine going through it again. I'll even admit that he is a great baby and that nothing went "wrong" with him as an infant. I just didn't enjoy it.
I will never fall for "but he needs a sibling to play with!" I grew up with a sister 3 years younger than me. We were never ever close all through childhood up until this present day.
I'm okay with giving him whatever he wants as well as my undivided attention!

Spinoff to be being

We are one and done by choice. I always thought I wanted two children, but I feel completely fulfilled and happy with our one daughter. DH is totally on board with only having one too.

Spinoff to be being

I am one and done- I have always said I only wanted one child-
when I was first pregnant with dd I joked that I was probably having twins and if that was the case I would have welcomed two babies but I have no intention of ever being pregnant again. I am thankful I conceived my
Dd naturally after being diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency just a few months earlier.
I love having an only child- I was able to take a break from my career to stay home with her something we could never afford with more than one child.

Spinoff to be being

Not me but three people very close to me are one and done by choice, so you're definitely not alone out there!!!! I totally get it it too. There is something very special about having only one child.

Spinoff to be being

Me. When I tell people they think I'm crazy and that DD NEEDS a sibling.

I have always said I would be happy with one. Never, at any point in my life, even long before I met DH, would I have ever been ok with more than 2. He is 1 of 3 and also has no desire for more. I have questioned whether or not its selfish of us to not give DD a sibling and his answer is that he didn't enjoy coming from a "larger" family and his siblings have never been his go-to people when he needed someone, it's always been his friends.

I also had an extremely difficult pregnancy and she was a rough newborn. We have absolutely no help whatsoever, so I think that has colored our opinions as well. In an emergency, I would likely have to call one of her daycare teachers to stay with her. We don't have family who is willing to help, so we're already maxed out in the stress department.

When DH and I told my SIL that we were one and done, she was beside herself and asked why I didn't love being a mother. I'd have punched her in the uterus but I always have to assume it's occupied.

We love our DD more than anything on earth and I hope she doesn't feel a void as she grows up. Hopefully she follows in our footsteps and surrounds herself with wonderful friends who are like family, just as we have.

Re: Spinoff to be being "done".... any other one and done by choice moms out there?

I always just assumed we would have 2 kids. Our DD was a very easy baby and when she was an infant, I figured we'd start trying for our second around the time she was 2. Right around her first birthday, I just had this strong feeling of being done. Glad my DH felt the same because before we got married he thought the same about having more than one. We just like our life the way it is. I am definitely pretty lazy, not with my DD, but you know what I mean. I can't be running around with a whole brood of kids. I do admire people that have more than one. Raising kids is hard and each child is unique. I am very organized and very type A. More than one would put me over the edge. Not really making myself sound like a fun mom, but I am! I do have a very silly side. Lol