give me some (more) insight

i feel like every year i come back to this place in my mind.

ive come on here and have gotten great insight before, but new ears (and old) are always welcome! becuase i just cant shake this feeling. actually, its not always on my mind, but maybe always in the back of my mind.

me and my man..he's much younger. we botoh want kids one day. i want them sooner than he does for obvious reasons, but i actually dont mind waiting until he is ready. any time i see someone wit kids not only do i see how much love there is ut how much WORK and stress they can bring. and i, myself, am not quite ready for that.

the only thing that REALLY makes me sad is that my parents, who are in their 60's dont have grandkids yet.

the dont pressure me. they make comments sometimes not directed at me that they want them ofcourse. my parents are definitely a young 60;s couple...but 60s nonetheless.

i know that i would have to wait 4 years minumum, but more likely 5,6, or 7. which puts my parents close to 70. and i guess that scares me.

insight. advice.. experiences..

Re: give me some (more) insight

Sorry to intrude on this board but I hope I can share my experience. DH and I got married in our late 20s. My DHs father is in his early 70s and MIL is in her early 60s. My parents are in their late 50s. My FIL is in phenomenal shape and rivals people in their early 60s. However, he still does not have the stamina to play with DS like my parents do. My dad rolls around on the floor with DS and lets DS jump on him. MIL wil get on the floor with DS as will my mom. I don't know if it is b/c of having different personalities or age but FIL cannot get on the floor and tumble with or chase DS. I know that my son is loved by every one of his grandparents, but yes, there really is a huge difference in how DS plays and is played with by my parents vs. my in laws. Bottom line though, you need to decide to have children or not when it works for you and your DH. However, if you are planing on having children the younger you are the easier it is. I am not saying it is impossible to have children later in life and be happy/find the energy, but I think that it is a physically demanding job to be a parent to a young child. I would try posting this question on parenting to get other perspectives.

Re: give me some (more) insight

Well I know this has been said many times on this board before, you have to have children b/c you want to and not to please anyone else. Will you parents be helping you and caring for the child as much as you would need them too? I know they aren't putting any pressure on you and I can see why you would WANT to make them happy by giving them grandchildren, but if it isn't realistic for you right now then you have to do what works for you.

Re: give me some (more) insight

thanks for your insight!

Re: give me some (more) insight

lurker here
My grandmother was in her 70's sitting on the floor playing tea party and Barbie's with her great granddaughter. Even today in her 80's she plays with the great grand kids. My mom is in her 50's and has a bad back so it is hard for her to get on the floor and play. Age is just a number. I think it has more to do with personality, health and luck. You can never tell. I would wait until you are both ready. Your parents will find ways to play with the kids.

Re: give me some (more) insight

Posted by imyself

lurker here
My grandmother was in her 70's sitting on the floor playing tea party and Barbie's with her great granddaughter. Even today in her 80's she plays with the great grand kids. My mom is in her 50's and has a bad back so it is hard for her to get on the floor and play. Age is just a number. I think it has more to do with personality, health and luck. You can never tell. I would wait until you are both ready. Your parents will find ways to play with the kids.

Re: give me some (more) insight

Unfortunately I don't think parents realize when they say things that hurt us sometimes.

I am going to assume that the thing that makes your parents the happiest is the fact that you are happy. Some people never want children, and that's fine, you know you want them - but just not right now. It will all happen at the right time and I'm sure your parents understand that!