Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Sorry I am under another name I have too many family and friends that go to this site.
I have been married for some time now, and have not prevented getting preggo, but not made a full effort either. There are 4 people around me who just announced they are expecting- while I want to have a baby, why am I not flipping out I am not pregnant yet- I wonder is it because I am not ready. I used to say I wanted 3 kids, I am lucky if I want 1, because it is so expensive and I am not feeling that pull to have them asap. I am so sick and tired of people asking me when am I going to have a baby- and why do I not have one. Right now I am CF , but want to have a baby one day. I am in my late 30's , is there something wrong with my attitude?I am not sure if this is the right bd to be posting this on. Please tell me I am not alone. I am contributing this to always being the caretaker to sick family members and to take care of a baby/ child scares the you know what out of me. Also,I am so sick of people asking me if there is something wrong with me- I had a family member who had trouble conceiving- and sometimes people say rude things to me if I am going to have the same problem. I enjoy my freedom and taking trips and having lazy weekends to sleep in etc. Maybe I am not ready yet??? If you got this far, thanks for listening. I need some hugs!

Message edited 3/24/2011 5:11:48 PM.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

First some


As long as you and your husband are on the same page with this issue - you are fine. Don't worry about anyone else and tell them to mind their own business. It's rude of them to ask when, why or why not and you should let them know that.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Posted by Christine

First some


As long as you and your husband are on the same page with this issue - you are fine. Don't worry about anyone else and tell them to mind their own business. It's rude of them to ask when, why or why not and you should let them know that.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

DH is on the same page as me. He is a a great DH. We are going to take a big trip this summer and then put some effort into it. I am scared once I get preggo, I will be petrified, my Father instilled fear into my head growing up, and I guess I have some issues I need to work thru. My parents were not alive to see me get married or to see me so happy, so I guess I am missing out on there "approval" so to speak of my DH. I guess I am just plain scared out of my mind to have a child.I am just not ready. Thanks for listening and helping me understand my issues.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Posted by Christine

First some


As long as you and your husband are on the same page with this issue - you are fine. Don't worry about anyone else and tell them to mind their own business. It's rude of them to ask when, why or why not and you should let them know that.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Everyone said it perfectly.

The only ones who should be concerned about your children or lack thereof are YOU and DH.
No one else. Plain and simple it is no one's business.

You will know when the time is right, to have children or to remain CF.
Either decision will be the right one for YOU and DH.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

That seems to be what this board is all about! Like pps said, as long as you and your husband are okay with your situation, forget what they say!

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

If you're not ready, DON'T TRY! Dont cave into pressure from people who wont have to
1) change diapers in the middle of the night
2)pay for said diapers and food and clothes and doctors and schools
3)give up their freedom

You are welcome to post your complaints here any time. We've all heard the comments.

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

Honestly, I was where you were and the idea of actually getting pregnant terrified me. DH was the one who was always ready and I would want to hold off as much as possible. Then we started to not prevent it for a year, and big part of me was thinking "It probably won't happen so I'll be fine."

For awhile it didn't happen and I was fine with that, because I would overthink every aspect of having a baby and think that there was no way I could ever be ready.

Then I found out I was pregnant and I'm not going to lie and say that the magically all the fear went away. Because that would be bull! But now I am not quite as scared as before....more like antsy about the future and what kind of mom I will be.

I was never sure about being ready, and I guess you never really know. But I had all the same feelings you are feeling for sure. Don't feel bad about feeling that way at all. You have to go with what works for you and your husband only. Forget the stupid comments from people around you...they aren't living your life. To hell with them!

Re: Not sure of a topic on this one- CF and liking it , but need advice

If you are not ready DON'T do it! I have friends who did because "I was old" "Everyone else was" "My family pressured me".

Those people are miserable, verge of divorce, treat kids like crap, and are cheating on spouses.

Those who did it when ready whether young or old, are happy as can BE!

Children are a HUGE responsibility and you cannot take a break ever. Even when they are older. Being a step Mom taught me that. It take s a village, for realz!