How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

I'm trying to get an early jump on DD's birthday party. My school has an "all or none" policy for inviting kids to parties, which I understand. DD has three little girls in her class who are her good friends. I know the moms of two girls, but I have no contact info for the third girl. She's not in the directory and her mom's never been to the monthly celebrations.

I hate to exclude her but I don't know how to go about getting an invite to this child. I thought about putting a note in DD's folder, asking the aide to put my contact info in this child's folder, with a note asking her to call or email me, but I don't know if that's overstepping because it's not the aide's job to organize DD's social schedule.

Any ideas?

Re: How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

Who picks up/drops off the little girl? Can you give the invitation to them?

How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

I would put a note with your number on it in your child's backpack with the parent's name on it "Mrs. xxxx" or "parent of xxxx" and I'm sure the teacher will put it in that child's backpack. I will say, I had to exclude quite a few for a party we had because their info wasn't in the directory, and I wasn't going to attempt to chase them down.

Re: How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

We have 'Friendship Lists' each year - the class parents put them together and distribute them at the beginning of the year. Maybe your class has one and it never got to you? Send a note to the teacher and ask if there is a class contact list! :)

If she's not on the contact list, I'd just send a note to the teacher and let her know that you'd like to arrange to have your daughter and friend get together outside of school and was hoping she could give you the number or e-mail for the parents!

Otherwise, could your daughter just ask her friend for her phone number?

Message edited 1/21/2013 5:07:21 PM.

Re: How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

I would have my daughter ask for her number or write a note for the little girl to give her mom.

Re: How to you go about contacts parents of classmates?

Thanks everyone.

All the kids ride buses, so I never see the mom at pickup. We also have a whole-school directory, which is voluntary, and they're not listed.

I'm going to get DD to try and get a phone number, which sounds so old school. All of the play dates I've set up for her since she started school have been via text message.