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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
Name:
EMBRACING CHANGE
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
who in your family do you no longer exchange gifts with?
how was this decided?
how was the conversation when it was decided?
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Posted 9/5/19 11:55 AM  |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
I no longer exchange with DH.
My sister and I no longer exchange between us. We used to give a gift to each other and then a "couple" gift to her and DH and me and DH.
It turned out that we were pretty much exchanging gift cards for the same amount- which seemed silly..
So we cut it out last year.
DH no longer exchanges with his siblings either.
Pretty much if you are not a child, we aren't buying for you. All the nieces and nephews under 21 get gifts.
I just feel like Christmas should be for the kids- I don't need anything as an adult. I would prefer to just get together with family for good food, drink and conversation. Like Thanksgiving.
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| Posted 9/5/19 12:00 PM |
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
I wish I could cut out so many people for the holidays (all my husbands side, we don't really give on my side - only to the kids) but it's like expected... an obligation... the list just keeps growing every year. very annoying.
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| Posted 9/5/19 12:35 PM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
My sister, BIL, my dad.
My Dad doesn't want anything anymore, but I bake him cookies and give him chocolate.
My sister and BIL, we all decided a while ago not to exchange gifts, we're all older and don't need the added stress of shopping and stuff.
I do buy something for my niece and nephew, although they prefer cash.
DH and I sometimes exchange small gifts, but we are at the point that we would rather spend the money on our yearly vacation.
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| Posted 9/5/19 12:44 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Other than our parents, we only give to kids.
Cut out all the siblings, cousins, etc.
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| Posted 9/5/19 1:15 PM |
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angelicd77
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/13 794 total posts
Name:
Kim
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
I wish I could say we stopped with everyone, but sadly, even my 40+ year old inlaws expect gifts. I have tried on multiple occasions to suggest a grab bag, but they out and out refuse. I wont stop with my family if his family refuses to stop.
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| Posted 9/5/19 1:41 PM |
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lmcmcl
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/15 484 total posts
Name:
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Posted by NervousNell
I no longer exchange with DH.
My sister and I no longer exchange between us. We used to give a gift to each other and then a "couple" gift to her and DH and me and DH.
It turned out that we were pretty much exchanging gift cards for the same amount- which seemed silly..
So we cut it out last year.
DH no longer exchanges with his siblings either.
Pretty much if you are not a child, we aren't buying for you. All the nieces and nephews under 21 get gifts.
I just feel like Christmas should be for the kids- I don't need anything as an adult. I would prefer to just get together with family for good food, drink and conversation. Like Thanksgiving.
Same here
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| Posted 9/5/19 2:54 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
I feel like gift giving between adults ends up being an even exchange of gift cards. If I had the time I would love to buy thought out presents for everyone and have them buy thought out presents for me.... I love giving and receiving if it's something well thought out and somewhat unexpected. But since it's not my preference is to stick with just giving between the kids.
We no longer exchange with my BIL & SIL and just buy things for the kids.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:10 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
When I was married, we stopped exchanging meaningful gifts with our siblings. My SIL & I exchanged funny socks and my ex exchanged books with his sister.
Now, my brother & I decided to stop b/c we just were passing gift cards back and forth so now we just buy holiday munchies for each other - fancy cookies, fruit basket, etc - and none of it can go over $20.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:20 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
I do not exchange much with anyone anymore. I usually use that money to buy a plane ticket since it’s so expensive. I am their gift. Sounds cheesy, but traveling adds up.
The conversation was basically me telling my family that I will no longer buy gifts as I can’t afford it with the plane ticket. They were perfectly fine with it. I get gifts from my parents, brother, and my sister’s kids, but they completely understand that I cannot buy gifts because of the cost. After living abroad for about 15 years, I have spent thousands flying home to visit and the only person who visits me is my mom. My dad is too afraid to fly and the others cannot afford it.
What we will do is spend some money on going out to dinner (with family and friends) or doing an activity. I’m all about the quality time.
I don’t need the gifts anyway and it will just take up space in my luggage. I have enough stuff; I don’t need more.
I do exchange a little bit with SO, but they are silly little gifts (socks,etc). Every year we do our Christmas gift of going to a Christmas market in the area and having a nice weekend together.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:27 PM |
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SusiBee
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Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We get together with DH's cousins to keep the family together, as all the parents have passed away.
There is a gift exchange sort of like a grab bag, where you pick a gift based on the number you got and you can steal a gift.... it's a game.
Most of the time there is no thought behind the gift and I'm tired of being so thoughtful just to wind up with some crap. One year I got a bunch of scratch offs, last year it was a Smores maker that is now taking up space in my attic. DH got a ceramic baking dish.
Somehow the teenagers wound up with all the booze gifts.
This holiday, I am going to BJ's and picking something off the shelf or going shopping in my attic to see whatever I've shoved up there. I think there are 2 sets of ugly wine glasses I got for my bridal shower.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:29 PM |
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MyBabyG
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/15 793 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Me and DH only get stuff for our DD--we don't exchange gifts--if we need something, we buy it.)
We get my MIL, SIL, and my parents something small from our DD. (a keepsake, etc)
We keep it simple.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:33 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Kids only. We don’t gift with parents, siblings, friends and haven’t in years.
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| Posted 9/5/19 3:37 PM |
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We still engage with parents but BIL/SIL are having some financial struggles and we agreed we aren’t exchanging and only getting their kids and them ours something small which I’m totally fine with!
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| Posted 9/5/19 5:17 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
we stopped with DH's sister once she had a child. so now she buys for DS and we buy for her DS.
Before she had a kid she was still sending gift suggestions at 30+ years old.
that was a convo between DH and his sister.
we still buy for our parents, which I think is ridiculous and would like to just cut all of this out.
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| Posted 9/6/19 9:39 AM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We pretty much don't buy for anyone except for the kids. But, they're getting too old for toys now, so it ends up being gift cards.
I agree with others who said they just like getting together. That's enough for me.
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| Posted 9/6/19 12:14 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Posted by BaysideForever
I wish I could cut out so many people for the holidays (all my husbands side, we don't really give on my side - only to the kids) but it's like expected... an obligation... the list just keeps growing every year. very annoying.
same here. My family doesn't really exchange. We only do the kids now. We're all adults and buy the things we need, so everything we would get for Christmas really just went to waste (not our size or style, or just gadgets we didn't need or want). It's such a waste of $$.
My in-laws won't be talked out of exchanging. It's not just immediate family either. It's cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. It's ridiculous and such a waste. They get me clothes that are always the wrong size. I must have told them my size 50 ,000 times but they insist on buying me everything in a size small with no gift receipt. The gifts have to go right into the donation bin. The more I think about it, they are prob doing it intentionally.
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| Posted 9/6/19 1:16 PM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Posted by NervousNell
I no longer exchange with DH.
My sister and I no longer exchange between us. We used to give a gift to each other and then a "couple" gift to her and DH and me and DH.
It turned out that we were pretty much exchanging gift cards for the same amount- which seemed silly..
So we cut it out last year.
DH no longer exchanges with his siblings either.
Pretty much if you are not a child, we aren't buying for you. All the nieces and nephews under 21 get gifts.
I just feel like Christmas should be for the kids- I don't need anything as an adult. I would prefer to just get together with family for good food, drink and conversation. Like Thanksgiving.
Same.
I just buy for all my nieces on both my side and DH's side.
We use to do a secret santa with my siblings and mother, but it was like the above - gc's for the same amount being exchanged. So we stopped.
I just asked DH's sister if she wanted to continue exchanging or just leave it with the kids. She said kids was fine, and that was that.
I love spoiling the kids, so I would rather spend the money to buy them things. Its so much fun to see their excitement while opening all the presents.
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| Posted 9/6/19 2:17 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We give gifts to parents, nieces, and nephews, and also DH's cousins' kids. Although I would love to just keep it to parents, nieces and nephews because it does become very costly during holiday times between all the gifts I have to buy
Message edited 9/6/2019 2:36:03 PM.
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| Posted 9/6/19 2:35 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Posted by SecretlyTTC14
Posted by BaysideForever
I wish I could cut out so many people for the holidays (all my husbands side, we don't really give on my side - only to the kids) but it's like expected... an obligation... the list just keeps growing every year. very annoying.
same here. My family doesn't really exchange. We only do the kids now. We're all adults and buy the things we need, so everything we would get for Christmas really just went to waste (not our size or style, or just gadgets we didn't need or want). It's such a waste of $$.
My in-laws won't be talked out of exchanging. It's not just immediate family either. It's cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. It's ridiculous and such a waste. They get me clothes that are always the wrong size. I must have told them my size 50 ,000 times but they insist on buying me everything in a size small with no gift receipt. The gifts have to go right into the donation bin. The more I think about it, they are prob doing it intentionally.
So I wonder what would happen if one year you just stopped buying for that side.
Maybe they would get the hint.
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| Posted 9/6/19 2:59 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We give mainly just to the kid and my parents. We use to buy for all our aunts, uncles and cousin but it was crazy. Now we do a grab bag gift with everyone except the kids. One gift and made a rule of no gift cards.
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| Posted 9/6/19 4:49 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
Posted by NervousNell
I no longer exchange with DH.
My sister and I no longer exchange between us. We used to give a gift to each other and then a "couple" gift to her and DH and me and DH.
It turned out that we were pretty much exchanging gift cards for the same amount- which seemed silly..
So we cut it out last year.
DH no longer exchanges with his siblings either.
Pretty much if you are not a child, we aren't buying for you. All the nieces and nephews under 21 get gifts.
I just feel like Christmas should be for the kids- I don't need anything as an adult. I would prefer to just get together with family for good food, drink and conversation. Like Thanksgiving.
It was the same with my sister when we realized we were exchanging gift cards. Since then, only for the kids and that's it. I'd love to do the same with DH, but gifts are soooo important for him, so we make a list of things we need or want and that became our holiday exchange.
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| Posted 9/6/19 7:49 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
We buy for my parents, my brothers, my nephew. We don’t with husbands side of family other than his one cousin and aunt we are close to. My DH has 4 siblings and 10 nieces and nephews (some of whom I have never even met) some of the nieces and nephews of his are adults now anyway.
I honestly would love to cut out gift giving altogether other than kids. My siblings and I end up just exchanging gift cards and it’s all ridiculous. I hate the pressure and expense of the holidays
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| Posted 9/7/19 6:50 AM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
On my side of the family, my siblings and I all have little kids. We all spoke this year and said we are all trying to limit the toys we get because it's just too much. We decided from here on out, we just gift to our godchildren and our parents. We buy presents for our children from "santa" and we feel like it's just too much stuff between that, dh's side, and my side. We do not exchange amongst each other anymore as adults because none of us really feel we need anything.
On dh's side, we are the only ones with a child. He has two siblings and they buy presents for her and for each of us. We exchange gifts with the both of them in return and also with my MIL and FIL. They always tend to go overboard on gifts with her and it's incredibly overwhelming because it's always stuff we/she never asks for, and it's usually not even age appropriate. If you can't tell, i dread the holidays LOL
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| Posted 9/7/19 9:08 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: holiday gift-giving question... a variation on the usual
In my family, I no longer exchange with my siblings. We only do the kids. No discussion, it just happened. My aunt always send DD something as well.
On DH's side, we all exchange every year. His two siblings, kids of one, grandkids of the other, & his mom, but not his extended family. Again, no discussion.
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| Posted 9/9/19 6:36 PM |
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