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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
ok, so I do not have children (and neither does d to the h, to my knowlege  ) but many of our friends/family/siblings do.
We always buy for the adults AND the children....I could not imagine NOT buying gifts for my sister or uncle and his wife.
yet I often here, "we are just buying for the kids this year"
now, what about the childless couple? what do you think about one couple giving gifts to others kids, but not being reciprocated b/c they do not have children?
my jury is still out on this. what are your thoughts?
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Posted 12/12/07 10:38 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
LaurenExp
Waiting patiently for baby sis
Member since 8/06 11613 total posts
Name:
L-Diddy EDD 11/11/11 :)
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In my family, you no longer get gifts once you have kids. I don't have kids of my own, but I have stepkids, which makes me ineligible in the gift department. For those who don't have kids (my stepsister and her DH), they get gifts and they give only to the kids.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:40 AM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
we are in the same boat - we give a lot of gifts to friends kids - and not just at the holidays - I'm OK with it if only I would occasionally get a thank you card (thats what really irks me.
Sometimes I consider skipping it, but then I cave
I don't have a solution for you
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:42 AM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We get gifts for the couples kids. Not the parents. That said if you have NO kids you then get a gift as a single, or couple. Depending on your situation.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:43 AM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3571 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Our family gives to adults and children and it gets expensive, so I'd love to just do a grab bag for the adults so that every adult will buy, and receive, one gift only. But to answer your question, although it wouldn't personally bother me if I had no kids, I don't think it is fair to the childless couple. If the childless couple is buying for the kids, then the kids' parents should still get the couple a little something (even as a joint gift).
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:44 AM |
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pinkiegirl
Member since 7/07 2160 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
This is the very reason we instituted a Kris Kringle in my extended family.
Some of us have kids, some of us don't so we each have to buy one gift for a grownup and we all buy for the kids!!
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:45 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I have a dd and I think if you are reciprocating and everyone has children then its children only. I think if you dont have kids and everyone else does I do not think that you should get a gift. (Unless of course you are under 20). I didnt have children when others had children and I was okay with not getting a gift. I wouldnt want it to be heres for the 3 yr old, hers for the 5 yr old, heres for the 12 yr old and heres for you 25+. If someone wanted to give me a gift that was fine but I didnt expect them too.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:45 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by PrincessP
I have a dd and I think if you are reciprocating and everyone has children then its children only. I think if you dont have kids and everyone else does I do not think that you should get a gift. (Unless of course you are under 20). I didnt have children when others had children and I was okay with not getting a gift. I wouldnt want it to be heres for the 3 yr old, hers for the 5 yr old, heres for the 12 yr old and heres for you 25+. If someone wanted to give me a gift that was fine but I didnt expect them too.
Just wanted to add....my mom buys TOO much for EVERYONE anyway so no one has ever felt left out in my family.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:46 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I dont' think I could stop giving gifts to the adults I love b/c they pop out a few.
even if I didn't purchase it..or it was cheap...a bottle of good Proseco.
a booklet of babysitting "vouchers"
something.
I mean, to me, once you have kids you do even LESS for yourself. and then the brats take Christmas away from you! 
( I kid. I love my kiddies) 
eta: just to be clear, I am not a gift grubbing wh0re and my we DO receive gifts from our loved ones. It's just a phrase that I heard...and one that I don't think I could ever follow.
Message edited 12/12/2007 10:49:40 AM.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:47 AM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In my family, we only buy for the children (we have about 8 nieces/nephews). But since DH and I don't have children (yet!), my brothers still buy for me. They feel it's only fair since I buy for their kids. I don't care either way.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:49 AM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by JennZ
We get gifts for the couples kids. Not the parents. That said if you have NO kids you then get a gift as a single, or couple. Depending on your situation.
Same, we give the kids only, but since we don't have kids, we receive a gift from their family.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:49 AM |
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nylisa
My Children
Member since 5/05 7905 total posts
Name:
MaMa
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by JennZ
We get gifts for the couples kids. Not the parents. That said if you have NO kids you then get a gift as a single, or couple. Depending on your situation.
We did the same
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:51 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
we buy for everyone--kids come first though...and then get parents a little something. for our family i don't think it will ever stop that we just buy for kids only--we always have to give the adults a little something.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:53 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
In my family we buy for everyone, but it was just getting out of control. So since eveyone was trying to save money this year for stuff like downpayment on a house, college, etc. we decided to do secret santa among the adults and everyone would still get for the kids. I guess it's a happy medium.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:58 AM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We buy for all...right now at least...since I have a little one.
My SIL is pg with #4 and this is getting out of hand...but we still buy the adults a gift but I dont spend as much. It gets tough.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:58 AM |
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Tracey
***********
Member since 5/05 6297 total posts
Name:
Tracey - brideinapril
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
My brother and sil do not have any children - I have 3 - they are just buying gifts for the kids this year, which is totally understandable.
We will still be buying them gifts - but we will put from the children on them.
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| Posted 12/12/07 10:59 AM |
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
DH's family always had this rule. Only buy for the kids. DH and I do not have any kids but his two sisters do. One has 3 kids and the other has 1. I still always get his sisters a little something but they buy DH and I gifts because we don't have kids yet. I imagine that when we do, that will change.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:05 AM |
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Kissy331
My two miracles!
Member since 5/06 17826 total posts
Name:
Kristen
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
For the most part we buy just for the kids. When it comes to immediate families, DH & I still get our brothers & SIL's a little something (not over $30) but we spend the majority of the $$ on the kids. Since DH & I don't have kids, we get gifts but they are from our "nephews".
We like it this way bc it gets quite expensive if we spent the same amount on everyone. Some of our very close friends, we only buy for their kids & they buy for us from the kids, usually a joint gift.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:06 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
We're the only childless couple in our families and we only buy for the kids. It's too much to buy gifts for all these people and expect them to buy gifts for us. We don't keep tabs on who gives what or who gets a gift and who doesn't. We give to the kids b/c we want to, and we don't expect our siblings to have to buy for us when we're not buying for them.
When we first switched to this system, I was a bit upset for about 5 minutes (b/c I'll never have children, so we'll always get "hosed" at the holidays)... but then I just moved on. I don't need gifts from family just b/c I'm buying for their kids, nor do I need anyone to buy me gifts, honestly. My DH and I exchange (and exchange more than most b/c we don't have kids to buy for) and we pretty much buy whatever we want throughout the year. It just doesn't bother me.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:07 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Kara
We're the only childless couple in our families and we only buy for the kids. It's too much to buy gifts for all these people and expect them to buy gifts for us. We don't keep tabs on who gives what or who gets a gift and who doesn't. We give to the kids b/c we want to, and we don't expect our siblings to have to buy for us when we're not buying for them.
When we first switched to this system, I was a bit upset for about 5 minutes (b/c I'll never have children, so we'll always get "hosed" at the holidays)... but then I just moved on. I don't need gifts from family just b/c I'm buying for their kids, nor do I need anyone to buy me gifts, honestly. My DH and I exchange (and exchange more than most b/c we don't have kids to buy for) and we pretty much buy whatever we want throughout the year. It just doesn't bother me.
interesting.
I wasn't thinking about it in terms of expectation..or getting "hosed"...or even financially really.
to me, it's not about that at all.
but I do see your point.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:12 AM |
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NinaLemon
It's a boy!!!
Member since 10/07 6453 total posts
Name:
Jeannine
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
I don't really have a problem with that, Christmas isn't really about the gifts and can get really expensive quickly.
I have a very large family, I'm one of 7 and so far there are 4 spouces and 9 neices/nephews (this is just my side, DH is also 1 of 5). To keep Christmas expenses down we pick names out of a hat and buy for one adult. Everyone generally buys for the kids.
In DHs family we buy for everyone, if funds were tight I would buy for the kids before the adults.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:13 AM |
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Wendy
Wheeee!
Member since 5/05 13736 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
With DH's family, everyone buys for the nine nieces & nephews and adults do secret santa.
We have no kids.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:15 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
we only give to the kids
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:22 AM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Kara
We're the only childless couple in our families and we only buy for the kids. It's too much to buy gifts for all these people and expect them to buy gifts for us. We don't keep tabs on who gives what or who gets a gift and who doesn't. We give to the kids b/c we want to, and we don't expect our siblings to have to buy for us when we're not buying for them.
When we first switched to this system, I was a bit upset for about 5 minutes (b/c I'll never have children, so we'll always get "hosed" at the holidays)... but then I just moved on. I don't need gifts from family just b/c I'm buying for their kids, nor do I need anyone to buy me gifts, honestly. My DH and I exchange (and exchange more than most b/c we don't have kids to buy for) and we pretty much buy whatever we want throughout the year. It just doesn't bother me.
interesting.
I wasn't thinking about it in terms of expectation..or getting "hosed"...or even financially really.
to me, it's not about that at all.
but I do see your point.
I didn't mean to put words in your mouth or imply that was how you felt about it. I was just explaining how I first felt about it versus how I now view it, if that makes sense. (And also how others seem to view it when I say how we do gifts in my family.)
Our family is just getting too big and none of us really need anything or want anything we wouldn't buy ourselves. We acknowledge each other in other ways.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:29 AM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holiday gift giving question...when you are married with children vs/ married without
This is my first married Christmas and DH and I have no kids. In years past, I would buy gifts for everyone and their mama even when I was completely broke - I would charge up my credit cards like cukoo. With us paying for our own wedding this year and getting our own place, etc. we said we're only buying for the kids (11 kids total) this year. My mom said we really shouldn't even be thinking of gifts, but we'd never not give the kids at least. We are also getting our parents gifts (framed pictures from the wedding - pics with them in them not just us).
We already spent a lot of money, so as much as I feel a bit weird about doing this for the first time, it is what it is. I might do something simple for everyone else (even if it's a framed picture of them at our wedding) just because I feel weird about it.
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| Posted 12/12/07 11:32 AM |
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