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josie919
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Josie
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19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
My one and only DC is 11 mos so I have no idea whats normal or not for older children in daycare situations.
I am an in home daycare provider and I watch my very close friends 19mo old girl, Ella. She is probably one of the sweetest kids I have ever met. Great with my DD. She helps clean by taking a wipe and cleaning whatever she can reach, including the carpets  She genuinely is just a pleasure to have in my house. When I start cleaning up lunch, she gets her blanket and doll and goes into the bedroom where she naps without me even having to say A WORD.
The house is child safe of course, however, I refuse to allow my house to become one where I can't have ANYTHING on my end tables, or even a picture frame out because the kids will 'touch it'. (I don't have glass vases out, or sharp objects, or candles). I live on a military base in small housing so my WHOLE house is used. I may run a business out of the home, but I still need to live there and feel like it's my 'home' as well. I'm a firm believer in, as long as it can't harm them, it can be there and they need to learn not to touch what isn't theirs. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but my parents have frames and little statues out and my niece and nephew tested it in the beginning and learned- its not yours, dont touch it. And now, as far as I know, they look, but then go on with their business.
SO... During the day, El will go over to my picture frames and point and say ' Josie's?' and when I say ' Yes that's Josie's, not Ella's' she runs away, finds something that is hers (binky, blanket, doll etc) and jumps up and down yelling 'Ella's!!'. We don't use the word 'MINE', ever. Same with the DVD's. She knows that when she goes into my DD's room, which doubles as a play area for the girls as well, she knows that the things in one basket are Gianna's (my DD) and she doesn't think twice about them. So she totally understands that those are not the things for her to play with.
THE MINUTE her mom walks in the door... the first thing she does is grab a frame and throw it on the floor, throw the DVD's on the floor and then when Mom says ' No, Ella thats not yours, that's Josie's' she freaks and starts yelling 'Ella's! Ella's!'. She runs down the halls (which we don't do, running is a no-no), straight to Gianna's room and dumps the basket over. It's def not the way her mom disciplines her because we do the same thing. I don't get it. I'm seriously at a loss. She has such a good day and then she ends up getting in trouble, usually crying. My friend is extremely upset because she obviously doesn't like to see her child crying or upset.
I've even sat down with her a few minutes before mom comes and said 'Mommy's coming soon Ella. Remember El, these are Josie's (and I point to the frames/dvds) and these are Ella's (and I show her HER things.) She nods and pretty much repeats me by pointing to 'my' things and saying my name and pointing to her things and saying her own name.
My guess was just that she hasn't seen mom all day and just wants the attention whether it's good or bad. Does anyone else have kids this age, in daycare, that act like this? It seems to be getting worse as the weeks go by.
TIA
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Posted 9/25/09 10:21 AM  |
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Little-J-Mommy
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D
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Posted by josie919
My guess was just that she hasn't seen mom all day and just wants the attention whether it's good or bad.
TIA
I think this is spot on. My only advice would be to have her mom totally ignore her when she does those things. NO reaction AT ALL. Almost as if she goes "invisible" when she's doing those things. When she stops and is behaving have her mom PRAISE PRAISE PRAISE her good behavior. Take a deep breath, 19 months is a challenge, wait till you get to 3  
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| Posted 9/25/09 10:32 AM |
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Jo, I agree with the other response and with you when you say that she is looking for attention from her mommy.
The kids used to do this at my moms when I would pick them up. Ry would start to throw the pillows from the couch, jump around like a monkey off the couch, and my mom would say "I don't get it, he was good all day and never does that here until now!"
It's totally an attention thing. At that age, ignoring can work. She is still so little that Ashley ignoring that behavior OR trying to distract her from even starting to go to the picture frame or running into G's room may work.
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| Posted 9/25/09 10:47 AM |
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josie919
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Josie
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Posted by dottiemchugh
Ry would start to throw the pillows from the couch, jump around like a monkey off the couch
Although I don't believe for one second that my little Ryan would ever do such a thing ...
I am going to tell Ash to give it a shot and see what happens, eventually she will learn. Or she may be 18 yrs old throwing things on the floor jumping up and down yelling 'Ella's! Ella's!!
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| Posted 9/25/09 10:58 AM |
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nbc188
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C
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
My DD is the same way when DH or I pick her up from my MIL's house, which is not baby-proofed either (frames out, floral arrangements, nothing dangerous though); she doesn't bother them all day but when we get there she'll usually go touch something she's not allowed to touch...she's fine after we tell her "no, don't touch that".
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| Posted 9/25/09 11:00 AM |
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maybesoon
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Once mommy walks in the door all bets are off!
I personally think it's fantastic that she doesn't touch those things all day long! Not sure what else should be expected of a little girl that age 
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| Posted 9/25/09 11:02 AM |
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josie919
Here we go!
Member since 2/08 1108 total posts
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Josie
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Posted by maybesoon
Once mommy walks in the door all bets are off!
I personally think it's fantastic that she doesn't touch those things all day long! Not sure what else should be expected of a little girl that age
It's not so much about her touching it at all. I was prepared to have to spend all day saying ' No Ella'. More trying to find out why she doesn't all day and then when Mom comes in BAM! crazy girl is unleashed lol
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| Posted 9/25/09 12:09 PM |
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nrthshgrl
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
ITA
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| Posted 9/25/09 12:17 PM |
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cjik
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Sounds very normal for 19 months, and I agree with the advice above--though if she is being destructive, this may not be possible. But try not to make a huge deal of the whole thing. Can you bring up something else she did or saw during the day to her mom when this starts to distract from what is going on? DS throws things when he's overtired or angry with us for whatever reason--he did it more at this age, but he still does it at 21 months. Sometimes the only thing to do is remove him from the situation.
It may be funny since it is your house, but would she want a picture of her own from home, maybe one of her mommy and her? She could take it home with her so it doesn't clutter up your house, but just a thought.
It's admirable to teach them to share as much as possible, but I also think you will hit a point where she will say mine a lot no matter what you say.
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:09 PM |
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Smileyd17
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Posted by maybesoon
Once mommy walks in the door all bets are off!
I personally think it's fantastic that she doesn't touch those things all day long! Not sure what else should be expected of a little girl that age
My DD goes to an in home daycare. Its my mom actually.
I walk in and omg, its h ell! Sorry.
She will sometimes act up, throws tantrums and the 1st thing my mom says is, "she was fine all day and she never ever pulls that with me"
Of course she dosent!
I also have witnessed it myself with the other kids who act up when their parent comes.
Can agree that its attention they want.
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:14 PM |
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HeathKernandez
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Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
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baby fish mouth
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
my kid ONLY misbehaves with me & DH.... He's an absolute ANGEL when anyone else is watching him...
its like that with a lot of kids.
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:45 PM |
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babydreaming
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
This post actually made me feel so much better! I was going to post today about my 19 mth old DS. He is an angel at daycare - they say is the model kid. He shares well, helps clean (to the point of helping vacuum every night - he is obsessed) and is an overall good kid. He never gotten a time out.
The minute I get him he is a nightmare to both me and DH. The word no is constant, he doesn't want dinner, he hits us, throws things...ect. We do discipline and give time outs.
I was wondering if this was just him but now I am wondering if its just the age and wanting attention....
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| Posted 9/25/09 2:56 PM |
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pinkandblue
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Re: 19mos old behavior issues... sorry so long
Posted by HeathKernandez
my kid ONLY misbehaves with me & DH.... He's an absolute ANGEL when anyone else is watching him...
its like that with a lot of kids.
my DD is the exact same way.....
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| Posted 9/25/09 3:03 PM |
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