2ND UPDATE WITH BETA #: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I dont know what to do...what to think...i'm just trying not to freak out too much. Here's what happened...
Friday just before i leave work to go home i go to the bathroom. When i wipe there is brown blood on the paper. I get home about 45 minutes later and there's nothing on my underwear. I call and talk to the doctor who mentions it could be because DH and I bd'd a few days before since it's old blood I should not freak out but he wants me to go in for my sonogram on Saturday ( i was originally scheduled for my first sono today ). So i go to the lab to do my sono on Saturday. The tech showed me the sac on the screen during the external, then she did an internal. DH and i went to the waiting room and were then told to go to the doctors office where they will discuss the results with me.
So a doctor (not my usual) comes in and tells me i had a miscarriage. Fetal demise at 6w4d.
He does not have the report in my chart, he has not seen my sono pics. This is the diagnosis from the tech at the lab - told to the receptionist at the lab - told to the nurse in the doctors office - told to the doctor and then to me. He told me that there's nothing they can do until tuesday so i should just wait for their call on tuesday and they'll discuss everything with me.
So i'm crying, my poor DH is just standing there confused and the doctor asked if i had any questions. Umm...well...yeah! I'm not bleeding. I'm not cramping, i tell him. "Well, they (the sono techs) aren't usually wrong", he says.
so we leave and i'm a mess. Then after talking to my two friends, they told me it's pretty much impossible for a sono tech to determine a fetal demise from my first early sonogram when there is a clearly visible yolk sac. What are they comparing it to? They told me at 7w that my fetus died 3 days prior - but can't it just be that i'm not as far along as i thought i was?
Now i'm a paranoid basketcase. i'm running to the bathroom every half hour to check to see if there is any blood and nothing. I really wish i knew what was going on in my body. I'm sorry this was so long - but I'd appreciate any thoughts on this because I dont know what to think anymore. TIA.

Update 2/19:
Hi Girls - Thanks so much for all your help the last few days. I did go for my bloodwork this morning which is being expedited so hopefully by this afternoon or tomorrow morning I'll know what my numbers are.
The dr office called me to see how i was doing and to schedule an appointment for me to come in and discuss a D&C with the dr. I refused, because a M/C has not yet been my official medical diagnosis. It was the opinion of a sono tech. If it is a M/C, I'll cross that bridge when i come to it, but I'm not jumping the gun just yet. Call me a naive optimist...
I asked the nurse and she confirmed that the original diagnosis of M/C on Saturday was based solely upon the notion that the sono tech did not see a heartbeat at 6w4d and "by then it's usually there". I said, "but not always..."
She will call me today or tomorrow to let me know the results of my bloodwork. She said i may need to go again, and i also found out it would be about $200 fee for me to do a sono in the office (b/c of my ridiculous insurance problem). DH and i will gladly do that next week should the blood come back OK.
Thank you again, girls. I'll keep you posted!!


2/20 UPDATE:
They got my beta # back = 37,399. Nurse said with a number that high they should have seen something on the monitor so she's still convinced i had m/c and wants me to come in to talk D&C. I've made an appointment for tomorrow with my regular OB (not the idiot i saw on saturday) and she sent me a lab slip for one more vial of blood for tomorrow morning. she said (and i quote) "we'll follow you until your levels get back down to normal". Thanks for the optimism and encouragement, lady! At no point did she make mention of the idea that my pregnancy could still be OK. Let me ask you - according to them i miscarried this pregnancy 1 week ago today. Would my numbers still be so high? Am i being naive in thinking there's still hope? Thank you, girls!
Updated to clarify - i'm not going in tomorrow to talk to the doctor about a D&C. i'm going to talk about the possibility that this pregnancy is still good and to schedule a new sonogram IN THE OFFICE this time! I'm not giving up hope yet!

Message edited 2/20/2008 12:12:55 PM.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Can you go to your regular doctor and have him do a sono in the office? Something doesn't seem right.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

First of all... I can only imagine the rough weekend you've had! As far as the sonogram goes, I agree with your two friends... how could the sono tech know that you m/c 3 days prior when many times, a PG is not even seen on the sono until about the 7 week! And since you are not positive about how far along you are it is quite feasible that you are not as PG as you previously thought, week-wise. I'm asuming your OB office is closed today, and you need a Rx for another sonogram, so unfortuately it seems that your hands are tied to speak with your doctor until tomorrow.

The biggest thing here is... you did not have a lot of bleeding! When I had my very early m/c, I bled for 9 days!! And you only had some brown [old] blood when you wiped?! The other doctor sounds like did not take the time to really listen to you and basically just took a sono tech's word for it. Also, did they draw blood on you? That would tell them what your HCG levels are and if they are doubling appropriately.

I know you are scared and confused but try to hang in there hon. Talk to your doctor first thing tomorrow and don't rule out getting a second opinion. The fact that you are not bleeding and cramping is a big factor in my opinion!! Best of luck!!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I would see your regular doctor ASAP and have him do the sono himself.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by saraH

Can you go to your regular doctor and have him do a sono in the office? Something doesn't seem right.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

There's two big questions...
Did you see a heartbeat...not hear it, but did you see it on the sono? By 7 weeks, you can usually see the heartbeat on the monitor. It can't be heard for another week or two, but you should be able to see the flashing light.

Are you sure about how far along you are? If you aren't 7 weeks and are only 6 weeks, then I would ask to have another sono done in a week or so since the heart may not be formed yet so the only thing they would see is the yolk sac and the fetal sac.

Either way, I would call your regular Dr. and demand that he/she go over your sono records with you thoroughly to explain exactly why they would think this and wether or not they could be wrong.

So sorry you had to suffer through that this weekend.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

At 6w3d I did NOT see a heartbeat, so if that is what the sono tech was looking for then it is completely possible for it to just be a little early. Also, I did IVF so I thought I knew *exactly* how far along I am. Not true!! My baby B is actually 3 days behind baby A!!! It depends on so many things and I would say until you start bleeding you are still very in this! And should you go on to have a healthy pregnancy (which I think you will) I would seriously consider switching OB's.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by Gertyrae

There's two big questions...
Did you see a heartbeat...not hear it, but did you see it on the sono? By 7 weeks, you can usually see the heartbeat on the monitor. It can't be heard for another week or two, but you should be able to see the flashing light.

Are you sure about how far along you are? If you aren't 7 weeks and are only 6 weeks, then I would ask to have another sono done in a week or so since the heart may not be formed yet so the only thing they would see is the yolk sac and the fetal sac.

Either way, I would call your regular Dr. and demand that he/she go over your sono records with you thoroughly to explain exactly why they would think this and wether or not they could be wrong.

So sorry you had to suffer through that this weekend.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

So you aren't really sure of your conception date. If they are using the fact that you should be 7 weeks PG and didn't get a heartbeat, then they may have assumed that the heart never formed.
As I said before, speak to your Dr....you may have conceived a week later than you thought and there wouldn't necessarily be a heartbeat that soon.

I'm really surprised the Dr. at the lab didn't ask you more questions....

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

jeez! Def get a second opinion.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by Gertyrae

So you aren't really sure of your conception date. If they are using the fact that you should be 7 weeks PG and didn't get a heartbeat, then they may have assumed that the heart never formed.
As I said before, speak to your Dr....you may have conceived a week later than you thought and there wouldn't necessarily be a heartbeat that soon.

I'm really surprised the Dr. at the lab didn't ask you more questions....

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

First of all let me say to you that I am sooooo sorry that you have had to go throught this.

I hate those vagie type of answers. I had a M/C at 9 weeks and did not bleed at all. I found out at my 11 week sono. I had my first sono at about 7 weeks and there was something. When I went back there was no heartbeat. With that I had to have a D&C.

I also had a miscarriage at 15 weeks (baby was 14w2d) and I did not bleed then either. For that I had to have a D&E.

If you did start to bleed I believe that you would have horrible cramping. But, everyone's body reacts differently.

I'm sure when you call on Tuesday - they will have your results in their office. Ask them if they have them and ask to see them.

(I would like to add so you don't worry I have a two year old and one on the way)

I'm guessing that they made the determination by the measurements and what they should be seeing at that point. I'm not a dr. so of course I don't know for sure.

Again, I can't stress enough how sorry I am for you and DH.

Message edited 2/18/2008 9:14:44 AM.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Good luck - please get a 2nd opinion!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by futuremommy

Posted by Gertyrae

So you aren't really sure of your conception date. If they are using the fact that you should be 7 weeks PG and didn't get a heartbeat, then they may have assumed that the heart never formed.
As I said before, speak to your Dr....you may have conceived a week later than you thought and there wouldn't necessarily be a heartbeat that soon.

I'm really surprised the Dr. at the lab didn't ask you more questions....

I agree. The risk of a missed miscarriage (where the fetus has died, but you doesn't expel naturally) is about 1% - very small.

Do you know when in your cycle you ovulated? Weeks 5-7 is such a tricky time because for some people, there is something there, but not for others. And if you're not sure of your dates it could go either way.

Good luck.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I am one of the friends that talked to the OP the day she went to the doctor. This whole situation makes me crazy!!! I just don't believe that a doctor can take a sono tech's "word" on a life altering situation like this. Without even reading the results himself OR doing a sonogram himself!! The OP's DH said he'd pay to have the doctor do the sonogram, even when the insurance doesn't cover it. I think he should do this. I just find the sonogram's lab office to be very shady and the doctor to tell the OP she miscarried without the report was totally out of line.

I also spoke to my SIL about this, who is a nurse and worked for my OB for years. She said that it is very possible that the OP isn't as far along as she thought and that it is too soon to see the "heartbeat." She said what we actually see ( the flickering light of a heartbeat) is actually more of a "soundwave" that is visible. But, they tell the patient that it is the heartbeat because in a few days/weeks it will become the heartbeat. I saw this flickering light at my first sono when I was 6w5d. But, it was HARD to see. The sono tech had to really point it out to DH and I. I think that the sono tech should've been more thorough when doing the internal and SHOWED the OP and her DH what she was looking at. I think the sonogram tech and the doctor is just "crazy making" and making the OP wait with NO answers or explanations was insensitive and unprofessional.

Ok, I am done with my rant.

WhitneyL- I have been praying for you, your DH, and your baby Peanut! Call me if you need anything my friend.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I agree with all the other posters. It sounds as if the tech jumped to conclusions too quickly based on a loosely assumed conception date...you don't seem to have other miscarriage signs, so I wouldn't lose all hope just yet and talk to your doctor asap. There is a very good chance that it is too early in your pregnancy for the tech to have seen a heartbeat.

Not sure if this helps you at all, but around 6w3d, I experienced bleeding...LOTS of bleeding though, way more than you described. Enough that I was a wreck and was convinced that I had miscarried. There was no cramping or anything, but there was a ton of blood. Well I am now 31w3d and all is well!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Please have quantitalive HCG levels drawn by the MD. If you did have a miscarriage the numbers would go down, if you are still PG ( ) the numbers with double approxiamtely every 48 hours.

Honestly, I would get another MD. Most MDs wouldn't even do a sonogram until 8 weeks because things are not always clearly visible.

I will kep you and your DH in my prayers!!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by FullersBride

Please have quantitalive HCG levels drawn by the MD. If you did have a miscarriage the numbers would go down, if you are still PG ( ) the numbers with double approxiamtely every 48 hours.

Honestly, I would get another MD. Most MDs wouldn't even do a sonogram until 8 weeks because things are not always clearly visible.

I will kep you and your DH in my prayers!!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Posted by Bubbs

Posted by FullersBride

Please have quantitalive HCG levels drawn by the MD. If you did have a miscarriage the numbers would go down, if you are still PG ( ) the numbers with double approxiamtely every 48 hours.

Honestly, I would get another MD. Most MDs wouldn't even do a sonogram until 8 weeks because things are not always clearly visible.

I will kep you and your DH in my prayers!!

I think that one of the problems is that the doctors office that the OP (And I) go to does the first sonogram at around 6 weeks just to confirm the pregnancy. When I called to tell them I got a BFP, they wanted to see me that day!!! I thought they wouldn't see me until I was 8 or 9 weeks. My understanding is that this particular OBGYN practice does sonogram so early because they have such a large amount of patients. But really, who knows the rational behind it.

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I had a very similar experience and i have to tell you after what I went through I am NOT having a sono at 6 weeks for my next pregnancy b/c of what happened....

I went in at 6 weeks (or what I thought was 6 weeks) and I was told I had a blighted ovum (sac but no baby)...when I explained to the doctor that I have long cycles and I may be earlier than I thought...he didnt want to listen to me...he went so far as to schedule a D & C the following week....I demanded another sono a few days later before the D & C and sure enough there was my baby peanut's heart pumping away!!!

Bottom line...the doctors who refuse to see their patients before 8 weeks do it for a very smart reason....to avoid the heartache and stress that both of us have experienced...at 8 weeks there's no question you will see a baby....at 5,6 or 7 weeks..its really up in the air when your baby decides to make his appearance on the sono screen!!

Please wait it out another week and demand another sono....chances are your dates are off and everything will turn out fine!!! My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family...I know exactly what youre going through...feel free to FM me if you have any questions..I'm here!!!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

Something similar happened to a friend of mine. She had a sono and was earlier along than based on her last perios (later ovulation) so the dr. said she had miscarried which was completely false. I would demand a hcg test and another sono in a week.
Good luck!

Re: It's been a long weekend...sorry long story

I can't thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers and HUGS! You really have put my mind at ease for now and I feel much better. I will definitely go for bloodwork tomorrow morning since my orders are home and Quest closes at 3:30
I'm keeping the faith!