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Kristin616
Member since 8/06 3595 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by Syliblond81106
Posted by lorich
Ok...I need someone to shed a light as to why it's bad to be a working Mom????
Here's why I ask... My Mom worked. She was AMAZING! She was there for us anytime we needed her regardless of working 20 miles away for a big corporation. She worked for us...to put food on the table, a roof over our heads. She helped with homework, she cared and guided us through EVERYTHING. I'd like to think I turned out Ok!
BUT...My MIL feels it's HORRIBLE to be a working Mom. Now...just so you know...she worked...
When I told her that I would be going back to work once we had children she just about had a heart attack...no kidding. She proceeded to tell me how both of her Daughters are SAHM...Ok...good for them.
some ppl cant afford to be a SAHM!
some dont even want to be!!!
tell mil to MYOB!!!!!!
I agree!
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Posted 10/11/06 11:45 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by lorich
Ok...I need someone to shed a light as to why it's bad to be a working Mom????
Here's why I ask... My Mom worked. She was AMAZING! She was there for us anytime we needed her regardless of working 20 miles away for a big corporation. She worked for us...to put food on the table, a roof over our heads. She helped with homework, she cared and guided us through EVERYTHING. I'd like to think I turned out Ok!
BUT...My MIL feels it's HORRIBLE to be a working Mom. Now...just so you know...she worked...
When I told her that I would be going back to work once we had children she just about had a heart attack...no kidding. She proceeded to tell me how both of her Daughters are SAHM...Ok...good for them.
You should tell your MIL that you are sooooo glad that your SIL's are SAHMs...they can watch YOUR kids when you return to work!!!
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| Posted 10/11/06 11:48 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by joenick
You should tell your MIL that you are sooooo glad that your SIL's are SAHMs...they can watch YOUR kids when you return to work!!!
 Honestly...they're the worst and have the most horrible kids to prove it! I'd NEVER want them watching my children!
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| Posted 10/11/06 11:49 AM |
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oops123
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 2509 total posts
Name:
michelle
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Some people i guess are good at multi-tasking...for me personally I could NEVER work and be 100% for my kids, that is why I am a SAHM.
I know some people cant afford to stay home,so they have to work, and there's nothing wrong with that....
but there are a lot of moms i know who go to work also because they dont WANT to stay home"they'd lose ther minds" as they put it.....and to be honest, its not easy because you can find yourself feeling very isolated at times...but in that case, if youre working and making someone else raise your kid because you "wouldn't be able to handle" staying home, then you shouldnt have had kids in the first place...jmo
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| Posted 10/11/06 11:52 AM |
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joenick
Us
Member since 6/06 9370 total posts
Name:
Valerie...aka...Do Me A Favor?
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
I think for all the reasons working moms are "put down", there are just as many "put downs" for the SAHM. Being a SAHM, I can tell you...it's NOT easy. Easy for me was when I was a teacher. I went in at 8:00. Left at 3:00. Took some work home with me (but by year 3, at least, the take-home workload was MUCH less). I also went to graduate school, taught after-school, summer school...but ALL of that was NOTHING in comparison to raising my children. It's a 24 hour job. No lunch "hour", time off, pay for that matter. It's very fulfilling and wonderful, but extremely tiring and sometimes lonely. I am not complaining, just stating the obvious.
I sometimes hear, how can you stay home ALL the time? Yeah...I wish! I bring my older son to school- back and forth 4 times a week. Karate 3 times a week. Soccer once a week. I have friends coming over in 20 minutes for the 2nd playdate this week. Nevermind also taking care of my 16 month old.
I hear, I would go CRAZY if I was with my kids all day. Trust me, it sometimes is a handful...especially if both boys are having a bad day. But just like everything else, you pull through!!
Oh...playdate is here. Bye!
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| Posted 10/11/06 11:59 AM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Like everything else....it all depends on your situation.
You do what's best for Your family and Your situation. Not what your MIL thinks, not what your SILs do, or what the family next door is doing.
It always seems that people think the grass is always greener on the other side. But when it comes down to it, raising children is diffucult, challenging, tiring, rewarding, loving and amazing all at the same time.
You do what you gotta do to get the job done!
Hugs and thanks to all the moms out there who are doing their best..whatever that may be!
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:01 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by Erin0602
Like everything else....it all depends on your situation.
You do what's best for Your family and Your situation. Not what your MIL thinks, not what your SILs do, or what the family next door is doing.
It always seems that people think the grass is always greener on the other side. But when it comes down to it, raising children is diffucult, challenging, tiring, rewarding, loving and amazing all at the same time.
You do what you gotta do to get the job done!
Hugs and thanks to all the moms out there who are doing their best..whatever that may be!
Thank you. That was so beautifully said.
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:02 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
I feel that the bad things about being a working mom is it being very hard and stressful for the MOM.
I can't imagine being up with a baby all night, getting the baby and myself ready early in the morning, dropping the baby off somewhere, getting to work ontime, surviving my streesful workday, missing the baby, leaving work late, picking up the baby, making dinner, cleanng the house, taking care of the baby, baths for the baby, etc... it seems soooo overwhelming!
Working p/t seems so much easier (if money is not a problem). The mom still gets to go out, interact with adults, have a career and some money, but has more time to spend taking care of things at home and with the baby.
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:09 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by julz33
I feel that the bad things about being a working mom is it being very hard and stressful for the MOM.
I can't imagine being up with a baby all night, getting the baby and myself ready early in the morning, dropping the baby off somewhere, getting to work ontime, surviving my streesful workday, missing the baby, leaving work late, picking up the baby, making dinner, cleanng the house, taking care of the baby, baths for the baby, etc... it seems soooo overwhelming!
Working p/t seems so much easier (if money is not a problem). The mom still gets to go out, interact with adults, have a career and some money, but has more time to spend taking care of things at home and with the baby.
That's a great idea! A lot of women in my office do that. They have such a great balance of work and home.
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:10 PM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by julz33
I feel that the bad things about being a working mom is it being very hard and stressful for the MOM.
I can't imagine being up with a baby all night, getting the baby and myself ready early in the morning, dropping the baby off somewhere, getting to work ontime, surviving my streesful workday, missing the baby, leaving work late, picking up the baby, making dinner, cleanng the house, taking care of the baby, baths for the baby, etc... it seems soooo overwhelming!
Working p/t seems so much easier (if money is not a problem). The mom still gets to go out, interact with adults, have a career and some money, but has more time to spend taking care of things at home and with the baby.
That's how I feel. With a less-stressful job I think I could do it. With an incredibly stressful job where you are thinking about your work when you go home, preparing for meetings and conferences at night, how would you stay sane? How would you stay awake during important meetings?
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:10 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by julz33
I feel that the bad things about being a working mom is it being very hard and stressful for the MOM.
I can't imagine being up with a baby all night, getting the baby and myself ready early in the morning, dropping the baby off somewhere, getting to work ontime, surviving my streesful workday, missing the baby, leaving work late, picking up the baby, making dinner, cleanng the house, taking care of the baby, baths for the baby, etc... it seems soooo overwhelming!
Working p/t seems so much easier (if money is not a problem). The mom still gets to go out, interact with adults, have a career and some money, but has more time to spend taking care of things at home and with the baby.
You need a very supportive dh who will help out.
In my experience working with 2 kids, they slept through the night before my 3 month maternity leave was up. You get into a routine. I take my dd to the bus stop in the morning, drop off my ds and then go to work. My dh entertains the kids while I cook or he will cook. He and I switch turns doing baths. We do the laundry and cleaning mostly on the weekends.
Yes, it is hard but when you financially need the money, there is no choice. I don't feel like my job is a "career". It is a job that pays the bills.
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:39 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
I don't think "horrible" is the word I would use but I think it is very sad that some women simply can not afford to be SAHM and that our government only allows us 3 months to stay home with the baby.
It is wonderful that so many women can and do make the choice of being SAHM. It is a hard job, although I would imagine it is much more emotionally rewarding than lugging into the office each and every day having to leave your child in someone elses case.
I am a working mom because I have to work, not by choice. I love what I do and I am blessed in that but no job in the world would hold more interest to me than being home with my son every day, if we could afford it.
It it is incredibly difficult to be working, being a mom and a wife and taking care of the house, but you gotta do what you gotta do and make the best of it. I know I would have been happier and more satisfied with my life if I was a SAHM and my life would have been easier in many ways, but that's not the case, so I do what I have to do and go to work.
I know my son loves me very much, I see it every day. It doesn't mean I don't question it as well as some of my choices in life and don't torture myself with disturbing thoughts of all kinds that I will not be revealing here because I am sure it will cause a huge uproar. Because occasionally I do question my choices and wonder if every woman does have an obligation to think about welfare of her future kids before making a choice of her life partner and their potential father... Yeah, i tell ya, all kinds of strage thoughts go through my head sometimes...
I think children of working moms will look back and be proud of us for putting food on the table when we had to, for getting up every morning after a sleepless night, putting on our heels and heading to the office, for ripping our children off our chests each day because we had a job to get to, for lugging a 15 pound breast pump to work everyday so they can be BF for the whole year even if we couldn't stay home with them, etc. etc. etc.
So, hey I guess we are not so bad, eh?
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:41 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
Posted by Stacey1403
Posted by MrsPorkChop
they say you bond better with the babies and you are there to see everything
I don't think is true at all. I have never seen a child in day care who wasn't so in love with both of their parents. You just make the most of the time you have when you are at home
everybody believes something different. but, according to "studies", this is very true.
even things like how quickly a baby develops during the first year are directly linked to how much the mother is around.
I think the best "study" is how your children are. I see no difference between my dd who went to daycare than the children that had sahm's. She is in 3rd grade now and I doubt anyone could pick out the children whose moms stayed home with them.
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| Posted 10/11/06 12:45 PM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
Posted by Stacey1403
Posted by MrsPorkChop
they say you bond better with the babies and you are there to see everything
I don't think is true at all. I have never seen a child in day care who wasn't so in love with both of their parents. You just make the most of the time you have when you are at home
everybody believes something different. but, according to "studies", this is very true.
even things like how quickly a baby develops during the first year are directly linked to how much the mother is around.
As someone who has worked in Day Care for *gulp* 20 years. I think those *studies* suck
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:30 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:40 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:43 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
You are so damn ignorant!
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:44 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by lorich
Posted by johnsae
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
You are so damn ignorant!
Well, that is not nice, and I would say that makes you ignorant!!!
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:45 PM |
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Eva Luna
Be kind...life's hard!
Member since 8/05 4750 total posts
Name:
God, bless & heal my DH, JenG's DH Rob & DebG
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
Alicia, I think it's silly for you to say that you know what she neglects.
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:54 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by Eva Luna
Posted by johnsae
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
Alicia, I think it's silly for you to say that you know what she neglects.
Ugh. YOU meaning a collective you, not mommatobellabean herself.
I'm done posting my opinions on this thread.
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:55 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by Eva Luna
Alicia, I think it's silly for you to say that you know what she neglects.
I agree! especially since you don't have any kids.
why would you say that anyway? are you trying to make people feel bad about their choices in life? That is mean spirited
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:55 PM |
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johnsae
Sip.
Member since 3/06 18677 total posts
Name:
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by Eva Luna
Alicia, I think it's silly for you to say that you know what she neglects.
I agree! especially since you don't have any kids.
why would you say that anyway? are you trying to make people feel bad about their choices in life? That is mean spirited
READ ABOVE
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:56 PM |
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WhatNow
Say Cheese!
Member since 1/06 8033 total posts
Name:
A (formerly WhatNow?)
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
NO, i would just like to know exactly what do people mean by "neglecting"?
In my case, my family obviously comes first. I come to work, do my job, and leave exactly at 5:30 on the dot because I have to come home, play with my son, make and feed him dinner and put him to bed, all with DH's help of course. I don't feel I am neglecting my work by puting my family first. I do what I have to do at work and do it well but then i go home and don't give it another thought.
What constitutes neglect when it comes to your work?
Message edited 10/11/2006 2:08:18 PM.
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| Posted 10/11/06 1:57 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by johnsae
Posted by mommy2bellabean
Posted by johnsae
There just aren't enough hours in the day to do both WELL.
I completely disagree with you and think that is a silly statement. I am a BETTER mom because I work and I am damn good at my job--present work issues aside of course
Are there enough hours in the day, never...but each minute I have is doing what I love and spending time with my darling Bella...I spend a lot less time napping or being bored.
And in re: to bonding...my DH will be the first one to say with an eye roll and much frustration that when I am in the room, no one else exists to her...I am the first thing she sees in the morning and the last thing at night (most of the time) and I love her...we do what works for us.
I'm sorry you disagree with me, but in my experience it is not a silly statement at all. For what I have observed it is the truth. To each their own.
I have no doubt you are an excellent Mom, but you cannot disagree that sometimes ONE or the other suffers....you may choose to have your career suffer instead of making your child suffer, but you are still neglecting ONE. I think it's silly to say that you NEVER neglect one over the other.
I do disagree...
It's not silly when you have a DH that is 50-50 parenting with you. Is it sometimes stressful...but go chat with my SIL who has 3 kids, is a SAHM, and tels my MIL that she cannot take it anymore and is on meds for depression from it all. This is just to highlight that every situation has stress...not to reflect on SAHM's AT ALL!
Everyone has their own issues...I just got offered a job based on my performance this last month and a daughter who amazes me every day. Rewarding and DONE WELL!
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| Posted 10/11/06 2:00 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: 6 millionth spinoff to SAHM
Posted by WhatNow
NO, i would just like to know exactly what do people mean by "neglecting"?
In my case, my family obviously comes first. I come to work, do my job, and leave exactly at 5:30 on the dot because I have to come home, play wiht my son, make and feed him dinner and put him to bed, all with DH's help of course. I dont; feel I am neglecting my work by puting my family first. I do what I have to do at work and do it well but then i go home and don't give it another though.
Exactly! That's the way it was with my Mother too...and how it will be with our family.
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| Posted 10/11/06 2:00 PM |
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