Nevermind

Did not mean to start a drama thread...

Message edited 10/26/2012 10:49:09 PM.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Usually just take away either a toy or a privilege (TV time, a dessert, etc)

I have given the occasional spank on the behind, but I reserve that for very rare, SERIOUS stuff-- running away from me in a parking lot or something. I do not hit for just general bad behavior, so the times that I've done it, they know that what they did was really bad/dangerous.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

You put him in the closet?

I have a 2 yo and 4 yo. Time outs don't work for them. Now we take a toy away they like, and put it up in a place where they can see it. It drives them nuts and 99% of the time it doesnt even get to that point. I say xyz toy is going to go away, and that usually works

What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

They get time out for small infractions, something taken away they do it again after time out of it is more serious and if they do something dangerous they will get a smack on the hand or butt.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Depends on what DS has done. If he has a tantrum, which are few and far between, I ignore him and let him tantrum. Sometimes if I cannot take it anymore, I put him in his room and tell him when he stops acting ridiculous he can come out. I do not use time outs as punishment. If he does something wrong I put him in timeout to think about what he has done and to calm down. He is three. He goes in a timeout for three minutes. He doesnt come out of timeout unless he tells me why he went there and says he is sorry. I have never heard of any timeout technique that advocates putting a child in a closet. Losing toys is not a punishment for DS. He doesnt care. I will instead take away something he looks forward to like a bubble bath or Peppa Pig before bedtime.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Message edited 10/26/2012 3:07:57 PM.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I've never given him a timeout in a closet. Wouldn't recommend that either. Can cause many psychological issues for the kid.

But anyway, my son has been having a few at 4 1/2 years old. So now he goes into his room to calm down and cannot come down until he's calm. When he behaves that badly, he gets tv taken away or his leap pad.

but it depends on the situation, what he's throwing a tantrum over and so forth.

Message edited 10/26/2012 3:54:49 PM.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I don't think you should be trying to find severe punishments for your young child. Too much punishment will just lead to more and more punishment. You should be trying some reinforcement based strategies. I also would recommend some parent training by a psychologist. You need some help developing effective behavioral plans for your children.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

10 minutes in a closet for a 3 year old???

I wouldn't ever put my child regardless of how old they are in a closet as punishment.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Oh the drama!

I don't necessarily think putting a kid in a closet is so much worse than hitting him/her. To me, it can be similar (but less fun) than going to his room (which even as a kid, I never understood as a punishment).

To answer the original question: I DO take toys away (but for good) if he uses them in a bad way. He does care about this. We've gotten rid of all balls.

DS doesn't understand no "rewards" like baths yet. He's 2.5 I don't know what he will understand at 3.

I put him in a corner and tell him "no pushing baby, no pushing baby, baby can get hurt, did you hear her cry?" repeatedly. I make him say "I'm sorry" and then let him out of the corner. I usually put him in the corner until he cries (which is about 30 seconds).

I don't punish for tantrums. I see this as part of a 2 year old's normal behavior. Unpleasant, but normal.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

#1 Meh to the closet. What's the diff its sensory deprivement. They get the picture.

#2 10mins? Who cares? Your house, your kid, your rules. No one can say how they would feel if in your shoes your mind. If its not working then obviously 1min vs 10min isn't the problem here.

Sorry but I never read anywhere on a stone that said 1min per age. AJ has always had timeouts as long as it takes for her to settle down. Not a stopwatch type thing. Hey you're still being cry baby at 5mins you STAY in time out. IF you settle down and can explain to me what you did or at least say sorry when I explain what you did and tell me you won't do that anymore than you can come out. If you wanna be a brat and say "NO!" when I asks if you are sorry then you can STAY in time out, not like I would say "oh well 4mins are up, you're free to go."

Her room is HARDLY punishment. I'd probably turn on the light in the closet and use it (if I had one big enough). For the moment though, AJ is devastated with going to her room and not having us pour attention on her.

I slapped her hands and feet at 10-15m old. Not often but if she went somewhere she was told not to. Not hard but enough to get her attention without tears.

At 2 & 3 she pulled that stiff as a board crap in the car and I gave her a good old fashioned wake up call on her thigh after repeated attempts to get her to cooperate. You WILL sit down or i WILL hit you. Do you want me to hit you "yes" ok call my bluff, here ya go. After the first slap on the thigh hard enough to redden she looked shocked. Do you want me to do it again or will you SIT DOWN? "no I wont sit" I will hit you "ok" so second round. Will you sit down, tears, yes. Never understood why she chose to test me, but she did. At least twice we've been down that road. Both times she's been given choices and specifically told she WILL get hit. And both times she invited it.

I'm not condoning beating your child black and blue, screaming at them in frustration or locking them in their rooms for hours on end without food and water, bathroom breaks. I am sayin this. Your child, is your responsiblity to raise. YOu should be able to do so however YOU see fit within the law of the land.

Hitting your child does NOT always mean they will be harder to punish later. Its not just one thing or another its a whole discipline and game plan. Its not just one piece that dictates an outcome. Child raising is a very fluid thing and no two children are alike.

I won't suggest you spank him but obviously something's not working. He's not believing it (as i call it).

AJ doesn't believe Daddy's punishment is as bad as mine. And she's right. His heart isnt in it. He says its just not that important what she did wrong. Not earth shattering. To me its not WHAT she did its WHY she did it. I dont think of myself as being mean to her but FORCING her to mold into a proper child. I give her a LOOOOOOOT of leeway in a whole lot of areas. I ask only that she respects me and her father.

There's no easy answer to this "What can I do" since every child is different. For me. AJ is taken to her room and dropped off uncaring. Stay until you figure it out. I'll listen to her cry and sometimes she'll be stubborn and say she isn't going to time out and try to leave. I stand on the other side and keep her in. Most times she'll just cry for a min then call for me. I go in without any sympathy and demand (in a very stern no mercy nearly angry way) what do you want? and I DEMAND that she tells me why she was in time out and if she didn't 'get' it or tries to explain it softly like "well I wanted ice cream.." I cut her off "I said NO ice cream, why did you scream at mama?" and I ask unkindly as I would to an adult. You want respect? You'll have to earn it. She's learned to answer me. Even if her answers prove she was wrong. I don't care. She will apologize or I ask her to. Then we hug and talk about why it was wrong and how it could hurt. Then we're over it.

Public, private, doesnt matter. My child's discipline is my top priority. You will NOT be a wild monster. But that's how *I* am (military brat). Some rules are not meant to be tested. Mama's word is one of them.

Good Luck

What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

If we are out, we go home if she doesn't pull it together by the count of three. If we are home, the iPad or TV is off for a while and she has to sit on her bed for a little while.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I can understand how being sent to ones room isn't necessarily a punishment. But my kid does not have toys in his room. He has books and that's it. So sometimes a quiet time out is what he needs to calm down. Like I said, it depends on the offense...

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Posted by nycgirl

Oh the drama!

I don't necessarily think putting a kid in a closet is so much worse than hitting him/her. To me, it can be similar (but less fun) than going to his room (which even as a kid, I never understood as a punishment).

To answer the original question: I DO take toys away (but for good) if he uses them in a bad way. He does care about this. We've gotten rid of all balls.

DS doesn't understand no "rewards" like baths yet. He's 2.5 I don't know what he will understand at 3.

I put him in a corner and tell him "no pushing baby, no pushing baby, baby can get hurt, did you hear her cry?" repeatedly. I make him say "I'm sorry" and then let him out of the corner. I usually put him in the corner until he cries (which is about 30 seconds).

I don't punish for tantrums. I see this as part of a 2 year old's normal behavior. Unpleasant, but normal.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I'm sorry but I think putting a child in a closet is just dangerous and traumatic . (Dangerous as teaching them.to go in there etc)....not a place I want my child to hide in etc but that's. Imo. I have dd go to her room to calm down (she is 3) and she is calm usually within 3 mins or less.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I scream "no wire hangers". Then I throw the hangers at her.

What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I'm a hard ass and totally don't think the closet is a cool move. You are doing more damage than good. I stick ds on a chair in the kitchen corner. He stays for 5 mins max. 10 mins to a 3.5 yr old is like years to them.

What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

I'm a hard ass and totally don't think the closet is a cool move. You are doing more damage than good. I stick ds on a chair in the kitchen corner. He stays for 5 mins max. 10 mins to a 3.5 yr old is like years to them.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Message edited 10/26/2012 10:12:10 PM.

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Re: What do you do when your DC is really bad and time out is not enough?

Posted by lbride

Posted by munchkinfacemama

I scream "no wire hangers". Then I throw the hangers at her.

omg this is hilarious