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Age cutoff for having a baby?
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
I think it would depend when someone got married. For me, I got married two weeks after turning 28 and was able to have kids at 29 and 32. I said I would be done by 35. Now if I did not get married until later, or had difficulties conceiving my answer would absolutely change. I also wanted a boy and a girl. Had I not been successful I would have tried for a third, but that would have been it. Most of my friends did not have their first until they were 37-40 as they got married later and all of them needed some kind of assisted reproduction help to conceive. Edit dh has a cousin who got married and tried to get pg went through twelve rounds of I've. None worked. They gave up trying to have kids and at 46 she naturally conceived her son. So, honestly under the circumstances I could never say never.
Message edited 1/22/2015 11:19:23 AM.
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Posted 1/22/15 11:08 AM  |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Ideally 35. I already have two and I'd sorta like to go for one more. If all goes as planned, it would theoretically land me around age 35. Of course this is all maybe and who can ever say if your body will compromise with your plans.
Personally, I would get nervous around 40. A friend had her 1st and only at 41. She had GD but so did I and I was pregnant at 29 with my first. I don't buy the 'age is just a number' thing . . . Fact backs up that risk increases with age. Not to say it translates to too dangerous to attempt but there is more risk.
Message edited 1/22/2015 11:52:00 AM.
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| Posted 1/22/15 11:50 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
A lot of people say it depends on your age when married.
I got married at 26 but didn't have my first (and only) until 35.
To me, it depends a lot more on when you are ready.
It took me a LONG time to be ready to even consider it.
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| Posted 1/22/15 12:15 PM |
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JRsMaMa
LIF Adult
Member since 11/07 2044 total posts
Name:
Jake's Mama
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by Hopefulmama
Posted by ANewDayHasCome
Posted by janedoe
I feel like the answers to this questions has many variables
what age did you get married?
what age did you start having children?
was it easy or difficult to conceive ?
etc.....
Couldn't agree more.
Yes, it's very easy to decide on 30 or 35 as your limit if you had your first in your mid 20s! Alas my mr. Right came along later...:/
Couldn't agree more! Had DS at 31 got separated and divorced shortly after. I am currently 35 and would still love more children...I say 40 for me, for now but who knows. I would have loved to have 2 before or by 35 but it didn't happen. So I have adjusted.
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| Posted 1/22/15 12:37 PM |
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
I don't think age matters so much anymore. Maybe years ago, but people today are having babies well into their 40's with no issues. I had my first at 29 and my second at 33. We're done at 2, but I wouldn't be opposed to having another at 35 if I truly wanted one.
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| Posted 1/22/15 12:42 PM |
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JME78
LIF Adult
Member since 11/09 3672 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
I had my first at 35. I would love to have 3 if I can.
I had trouble getting pregnant so who knows, but I certainly won't limit my dreams because I happened to get married "later".
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| Posted 1/22/15 12:57 PM |
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
I say to each their own. You don't know anyones individual story or personal history for reasons they want to have a baby a bit late in life. One of my BFF had her DS at 42. He will be 4 next month and is a healthy child. She was on her second marriage and already has a teenager.
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| Posted 1/22/15 2:39 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
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| Posted 1/23/15 8:59 AM |
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Age cutoff for having a baby?
I don't have a cutoff. Just figured if it happens, it happens. Don't even know if we want a second. I know the risks and numbers but I'm trying not to think about it. I don't think I'll want to be an older mom but I guess only time will tell.
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| Posted 1/23/15 9:03 AM |
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buttercup
St. Jude pray for us...
Member since 1/11 2951 total posts
Name:
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Age cutoff for having a baby?
I always had 35 as the cut off.. I know its just a number but that's the number that's stuck in my head. I have one now, and if we don't have another one before I turn 35 in a few years, I'll be one and done.
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| Posted 1/23/15 4:50 PM |
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ready2go
LIF Adult
Member since 1/08 2379 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
You don't know what the future holds. I had DD at 33 and started trying for another baby when she was 2.5 because I had 36 as sort of a "cut off" in my mind....
Here I am...18 weeks pregnant and I will give birth a month before I turn 40.
I had a long road, a road I never anticipated because I had absolutely no problems getting or staying pregnant with my first.
Would I have chosen to have a baby this late? No, but this is how it turned out and I am so, so grateful to be pregnant.
So the idea of a cut-off to me is not always as clear as it seems. Some things you can't necessarily plan.
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| Posted 1/23/15 5:09 PM |
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IVFmiracle
Complete
Member since 12/12 4088 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
That's a tough question. I don't know if I have one anymore. When I was 22 and first engaged I wanted to me a young mother. Figured I would have 2 kids and be done by 27.  DH wasn't on board with that, so it didn't happen.
Now, I think I'll be done when I feel my family is complete or age/health risks outweigh my need for more children.
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| Posted 1/23/15 9:16 PM |
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beanie571
:-P
Member since 5/07 2509 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by Mags1227
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
Curious about what happened with your brother, with your mom being an "older mom"?
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| Posted 1/24/15 9:05 AM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by beanie571
Posted by Mags1227
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
Curious about what happened with your brother, with your mom being an "older mom"?
she wasn't as engaged. Dad was already starting to have hip problems (from an earlier accident) so he wasn't able to do as much with him as they did with me. I was basically the mom. My parents had friends and would go out for new year's (as was their right) and I would always baby-sit. When my friends came over, my brother would always want to be around us, or i'd be unable to go because i have to watch him. (i was 16, he was 4)
Don't get me wrong, my parents did everything they could think of for my brother, but it was not the same. he got to go on a lot more trips than i ever di, and do more things that i did, but it always felt like "vacation is coming, what do we do with him?" their friends had kids my age, so i wasn't that bored at those parties. my brother had no one to play with.
plus, he didn't know any of his grandfathers, barely remembers his great-grandma, and only has one grandmother left. he missed out on that generation. my grandmother shaped most of who i am as a person. i don't want my grandkids to miss out on that and by having children later, i run that risk.
i think at a certain age, you mothering skills wind down a bit. you will always love your children, but it's more of a "i'm here for you, but you're a grown-up now so you take care of yourself" kind of love. it's not based on your kid's age, but your age.
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| Posted 1/24/15 10:16 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Not so much age but if I have another, I'll be DONE.
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| Posted 1/25/15 9:53 AM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by beanie571
Posted by Mags1227
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
Curious about what happened with your brother, with your mom being an "older mom"?
she wasn't as engaged. Dad was already starting to have hip problems (from an earlier accident) so he wasn't able to do as much with him as they did with me. I was basically the mom. My parents had friends and would go out for new year's (as was their right) and I would always baby-sit. When my friends came over, my brother would always want to be around us, or i'd be unable to go because i have to watch him. (i was 16, he was 4)
Don't get me wrong, my parents did everything they could think of for my brother, but it was not the same. he got to go on a lot more trips than i ever di, and do more things that i did, but it always felt like "vacation is coming, what do we do with him?" their friends had kids my age, so i wasn't that bored at those parties. my brother had no one to play with.
plus, he didn't know any of his grandfathers, barely remembers his great-grandma, and only has one grandmother left. he missed out on that generation. my grandmother shaped most of who i am as a person. i don't want my grandkids to miss out on that and by having children later, i run that risk.
i think at a certain age, you mothering skills wind down a bit. you will always love your children, but it's more of a "i'm here for you, but you're a grown-up now so you take care of yourself" kind of love. it's not based on your kid's age, but your age.
This is a different situation. Your Mom had started her family younger, so having your brother on the later side just lengthened her years of raising kids. She was probably burned out!
I had my kids at 35 and 37. I am 42, and still have plenty of energy and focus. Also, many people have their kids in their 30's now. If my peers had teenagers and older kids and were out and free, then maybe I would feel that I was missing out.
By the time my Mom was my age, she had a 19 year old in college, and a junior in high school. If she had a young one, I can see her being exhausted, as she would be in her 20th year of taking care of kids!!
Also, my Grandmas both had their kids later in life, yet they both lived until I was in my thirties.
Every situation is different. I wasn't ready for marriage or children in my 20's, for a multitude of reasons.
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| Posted 1/25/15 10:37 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by Annie91606
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by beanie571
Posted by Mags1227
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
Curious about what happened with your brother, with your mom being an "older mom"?
she wasn't as engaged. Dad was already starting to have hip problems (from an earlier accident) so he wasn't able to do as much with him as they did with me. I was basically the mom. My parents had friends and would go out for new year's (as was their right) and I would always baby-sit. When my friends came over, my brother would always want to be around us, or i'd be unable to go because i have to watch him. (i was 16, he was 4)
Don't get me wrong, my parents did everything they could think of for my brother, but it was not the same. he got to go on a lot more trips than i ever di, and do more things that i did, but it always felt like "vacation is coming, what do we do with him?" their friends had kids my age, so i wasn't that bored at those parties. my brother had no one to play with.
plus, he didn't know any of his grandfathers, barely remembers his great-grandma, and only has one grandmother left. he missed out on that generation. my grandmother shaped most of who i am as a person. i don't want my grandkids to miss out on that and by having children later, i run that risk.
i think at a certain age, you mothering skills wind down a bit. you will always love your children, but it's more of a "i'm here for you, but you're a grown-up now so you take care of yourself" kind of love. it's not based on your kid's age, but your age.
This is a different situation. Your Mom had started her family younger, so having your brother on the later side just lengthened her years of raising kids. She was probably burned out!
I had my kids at 35 and 37. I am 42, and still have plenty of energy and focus. Also, many people have their kids in their 30's now. If my peers had teenagers and older kids and were out and free, then maybe I would feel that I was missing out.
By the time my Mom was my age, she had a 19 year old in college, and a junior in high school. If she had a young one, I can see her being exhausted, as she would be in her 20th year of taking care of kids!!
Also, my Grandmas both had their kids later in life, yet they both lived until I was in my thirties.
Every situation is different. I wasn't ready for marriage or children in my 20's, for a multitude of reasons.
I agree, sounds very specific to the situation
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| Posted 1/25/15 12:13 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by NervousNell
A lot of people say it depends on your age when married.
I got married at 26 but didn't have my first (and only) until 35.
To me, it depends a lot more on when you are ready.
It took me a LONG time to be ready to even consider it.
I agree. Also, many people don't have an easy road to conceive. I NEVER thought it would be as hard for me as it was.
I got married at 23 but when we started to TTC at around 27-28 we ran into IF issues so our DD wasn't born until we were 33. Then we had more (and worse) IF issues TTC #2 so our DS wasn't born until I was 38. Definitely not how I pictured things but life throws you curve balls. 
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| Posted 1/25/15 12:41 PM |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Age cutoff for having a baby?
Posted by Mrs213
Posted by Annie91606
Posted by Mags1227
Posted by beanie571
Posted by Mags1227
Originally, I said 32. Now, it's changed to 35.
Had DS at 28. Am going to be 33 in a few months, and not pregnant.
While the absolute cut-off is 35, i'm slowly getting used to the fact that DS will be an only child.
I don't want to be the older mom (mine was and I see first-hand what it's done to my brother), I don't want a very large age difference between my kids (7 years is the absolute limit I think).
That said, I'm dying to have a girl, so who knows? maybe 35 will change once I get there.
Curious about what happened with your brother, with your mom being an "older mom"?
she wasn't as engaged. Dad was already starting to have hip problems (from an earlier accident) so he wasn't able to do as much with him as they did with me. I was basically the mom. My parents had friends and would go out for new year's (as was their right) and I would always baby-sit. When my friends came over, my brother would always want to be around us, or i'd be unable to go because i have to watch him. (i was 16, he was 4)
Don't get me wrong, my parents did everything they could think of for my brother, but it was not the same. he got to go on a lot more trips than i ever di, and do more things that i did, but it always felt like "vacation is coming, what do we do with him?" their friends had kids my age, so i wasn't that bored at those parties. my brother had no one to play with.
plus, he didn't know any of his grandfathers, barely remembers his great-grandma, and only has one grandmother left. he missed out on that generation. my grandmother shaped most of who i am as a person. i don't want my grandkids to miss out on that and by having children later, i run that risk.
i think at a certain age, you mothering skills wind down a bit. you will always love your children, but it's more of a "i'm here for you, but you're a grown-up now so you take care of yourself" kind of love. it's not based on your kid's age, but your age.
This is a different situation. Your Mom had started her family younger, so having your brother on the later side just lengthened her years of raising kids. She was probably burned out!
I had my kids at 35 and 37. I am 42, and still have plenty of energy and focus. Also, many people have their kids in their 30's now. If my peers had teenagers and older kids and were out and free, then maybe I would feel that I was missing out.
By the time my Mom was my age, she had a 19 year old in college, and a junior in high school. If she had a young one, I can see her being exhausted, as she would be in her 20th year of taking care of kids!!
Also, my Grandmas both had their kids later in life, yet they both lived until I was in my thirties.
Every situation is different. I wasn't ready for marriage or children in my 20's, for a multitude of reasons.
I agree, sounds very specific to the situation
and i never said this was what anyone else had to do. I was asked my reasoning, I gave it. Yes it is specific to me. And it's enough for me to have a cut-off, both for my age and the age difference between my kids.
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| Posted 1/25/15 8:58 PM |
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